What's your funniest Jamaican story??

Well, this one is pretty good.

We were at Reggae Beach over in Ochi and the waves that day were very strong, pushing me down to the point I could barely walk and had fallen so many times that I had a ridiculous amount of sand and small pebbles all inside my bathing suit. It was very quiet that day and we were at the far end of the beach. So, I decided to go deeper into the water and take off my bathing suit, turn it inside out and clean out all the sand and pebbles. The beach was dead I mean 3-4 people at the other end.

So.... out of nowhere from around the corner of the cliff, suddenly comes this huge cabin cruiser full of 40 or more partiers yelling woo hoo, drinks in hand, music blaring, having a grand old time. Well, I must have looked like a deer in the headlights trying frantically to get my bathing suit back on, no easy feat while you're in the water up to your neck, trying to look non discrete, staying covered and standing upright in the crashing waves. My Ex-husband couldn't stop laughing and I did get my bathing suit on in a nick of time, but just barely. In Jamaica you never know what's gonna come around that corner :rolleyes: LOL!!!

LOL, what a visual

A few years ago we went to Margarittaville with a couple of newbs we had with us for the all you can drink whatever party they have. The place was packed with locals and tourists alike. Somehow it was decided they were going to have a Sexiest Canadian Male contest. And somehow my wife decided that I needed to be apart of it. Oh boy this sounds like a great idea. So they choose the other contestants there is me, my friend Dave(short bald and chubby), our friend Kerry(who is actually from Illinois) and this nubian god from Toronto with a friggin 8 pack and dreads. He's about 6 foot and a muscular 200lbs. Gee thanks this doesn't appear to be rigged at all. Well the host of the party was a beautiful Jamaican lady. There were contests of skill and strength and then the topper is a dance contest. Well my two buddies and the nubian guy all go which left me for last. I am doomed cause not only is he chiseled he dances pretty well. So the host comes out and introduces me and gets the music started. What's a white guy in Jamaica who's doomed to lose do? I grab her, bend her over in the sand and dutty it up to the delight of the crowd. The locals went nuts! I do believe it was the first time I saw a Jamaican Girl blush! :P

I lost the contest but pretty sure I made some lasting memories for the host and all in attendance! :)

GREAT stories, more please