A few back stories before my next reach...a little background

Only had time today for the first page, but wanted to jump ahead and tell you how much I'm enjoying your stories; they have made me laugh and totally relate-you have a gift...IRIE! *IG

Thank you Island Girl! :) I'm glad you got a laugh out of a few of the stories. This last trip did not have so many halarious moments, but it had a lot of wonderful & memorable ones. Thanks for reading!

I am at my job and just read your 2011 trip report and have laughed so, that it's hard to concentrate on work!! LOl, Wheeeeee!

1)Towing your Moms by her braids on the catamaran cruise...
2)The guy in back of you at the falls...
3)The fruit that tasted like a "hairy grape"...
4)The chica's after hours at Scrubadub...
5)The experienced "smoking" Jetski guy...

I will finish your report at home when I get off, as when I make a mistake it messes up 115 cities
and I have to make an action every 3-5 minutes...

Happy Travels....

Skb

It's been a while but I thought I would bring up my old post so some can get familiar with me :D
I will be back in Negril next month and plan on sharing some great stories and will finally post pictures of my travels. I cant wait!
It's a trip reading your own old trip reports and seeing your perspective from then, kinda cool like journaling.
By the way DNL stands for dark and lovely, she wanted me to clarify that becasue she said it looks like down low, lol

Ok Irie luv looking forward to more of your stories. Hope you and D&L have a good time.

OMGOOdness, girlfriend...I'm dyin over here. LOLOL You and your D&L are too much fun!! Don't know how I missed this when you first posted, but I'm sure glad to find it today and I'll be looking out for more of your stories in the future, funny and memorable. I like the way you tell it. ;P

Thanks TizzyATX,:cool:. I have a million stories from last last trip I didnt post.I'll rack my brain to remember a few. Glad you enjoyed it. I lived it all over again when I re read it today, it made me laugh too!

We are really looking forward to more of your "stuff"... Go easy on DHL, she's hangin tougher than a lot of 20 and 30 somethings!

Happy Travels

Skb

YAY! You're back. I loved your stories and so ready for more. I will be in Negril next month too. I'll buy the dirty bananas!

Hey Smokin Kevan, I 'll go easy on DNL alright, lol... I went to walmart and got all our little items, including comfy neck pillows, emergen-C vitamin C and motrin so she has no excuses! But that reminded me of a small short story I want to share. As quoted from the old school show In Living Color "Like to hear it? Well here it go!"

I wanna have fun too!!
So as you can see, the last few trips DNL gets to have all the fun while I drag her around, take care of all her needs and tend to her like a good daughter does her BFF/Mom. I make sure she stays hydrated,drag her by her locks to safety if needed,give her crackers so she can come back to life,put the fan on her when we get to the room , make sure driver closes van door in time so she does not go into boob shock ect...(may be exaggerated but hey :rolleyes:)

So I tell her during our last trip which was during ATI/Jamaica 50th/Summer Olympics " I am tired of you always being the one that gets all tipsy and I have to take care of you, I want to get tore up and have you take care of me!!" I was joking but serious at the same time. Of course I dont want to get so wasted I have to be taken care of but I want to let loose and well, get close to it. So during that day I did, it's a blur now but I remember getting to the room and it was spinning.. and hot..and spinning...and hot, AC not kicking in fast enough, had a hot flashes and just plopped on the bed needing, well...to be taken care of. And she did just that. While I was in lala land,laid out on the bed with all my facial and body muscles way too relaxed(just as hers was before we got on that catameran) damn near drooling on myself. I felt the best sensation EVER, a series of cold compresses on the side of my face, the back of my neck and my shoulder blades. Ahhh! DNL is taking care of me :) the cold towel brings me to a deep sleep. We had to skip our plans for the evening, she dined with out me and told our friends that we were suppose to meet (and who happened to asked her for my hand in marriage after 24 full hours of meeting him, lol) that I had a head ache and was in the room for the night. This is what DNL told me when I finally woke up in the middle of the night. I said "Thanks for taking care of me ma". She replied "Your welcome sweetie, thats what moms are for, you was serious was'nt you!" I said in a groggy tone and looking like damit to hell "I did'nt mean to and never will again, it does not feel good and I missed out. I know my limits and I'm stiking to them...so I'm up...pass me the lighter.

what do you need a lighter for you bake subs in the oven

The pilot was out...

Great reading, thanks for taking the time to post!

Uh...Umm..yeah, the the pilot was out:rolleyes:, LOL. I needed a lighter to make all those pains and aches go away.:o seriously!I needed the medicinal qualities of mother nature. I can light up all day...its those drinks that put me over. This day in particular it was just RUM RUM RUM! When Im at home I NEVER drink rum. Not that I dont like it, I just dont drink it at home I really dont even know the reason...maybe I'll have a glass this weekend to change that up . But yeah too much Rum mixed with the heat and my underlying need to "tear the roof off this mutha" had me in for the night. lol. Slow and easy is my "ting" and I'm gonna keep it that way.

i hear ya, irie love....I'm also one who can never get too much of the medicine, and usually enjoy all day, every day....but mix in the rum and watch out....I really gotta watch out for the overproof rum they mix in.....

waiting for more

Best ride ever!
So on the actual Jamaica 50th anneversary, we went to the Jungle. To our surprise the inside was closed but they set up a huge area in back for a concert. There was a huge stage and a big #50 lit up for the celebration. So as usual we were there several hours and in between those hours people where whining, daggering and waiting for the main event. At one point the DJ was getting the crowd hyped up and he pulled a girl from the crowd on stage and was not just daggering, but doing the acrobatic type of daggering, it was awesome. Wish I was that limber and light to where I can just be thrown around like a raggedy anne doll and still land on my feet and shake it like a salt shaker! Anyways DNL was getting tired of waiting for the performance and plus the speakers were to big and loud and she lost her earplugs and was ready to go. I was too when it was 2 oclock and no headliner yet. So we go to the front of the Jungle and its' CRAZY, thousands of people on beach road, millions of orders of jerk chickens being sold, motorcycles all over, people walking everywhere. It was awesome. So I grabbed a order of chicken. I did not realize that I was standing in a crowd of motorcycles and went to turn around after I got my order I squeeled like a pig,"IEEEEEEEE!!!" I scared some of the folks nearby as the were wondering what was wrong. THOSE DAMN MUFFLERS BURNED MY CALF!!!!! OMG the sting was almost unbearable. Thank goodness I had a some aloe in the room. So now we need a ride back to the room, they had a free shuttle going up and down the road all night but it was taking to long and my leg was stinging like crazy. We had to make a move.I scan the premises on who I wanted to ask, had to be someone I could take down on my own if needed although I did have my stun gun tucked in my cleavage. I ask one of the dudes," Hey can you take me and her down the road to our room?". He said " Yeah mon, but it would be safer to take one at a time, not really enough room for 3 on this bike." You can imagine DNL's face...ok time for a huddle.DNL "I dont think we should be seperated". Me "Oh come on its just down the road, the worst thing that can happen is we have to jump off the bikes and walk the rest of the way, I got the stun gun, plus he looks like he's 18 and the size of my pinky." She was still hesitant. At this point DNL is terrified, it's written all over her face. She has not been on the back of a bike since the 70's and she does not want to be seperated. She could not make up her mind and was going back and forth.Finally we decide to go . I say to dude "OK lets go, have your friend follow you with DNL on the back and take us to our room" The price was right and I hopped on , DNL still looking in shock. "Come on and get on so we can go", I said trying not to think about my burn. She hopped on like she had no choice and ZOOM we were off into the pitch black nights of Negril. As soon as we took off I knew this would be the best part of the night. I tucked my chicken in between me and the young lad and held on for dear life. Once I was comfortable on the bike I took it all it. The night sky was AMAZING that night. It seemed like every star in the galaxy was out just to shine on me. The moon was big and bright. I could hear the tree frogs and other sounds of the island. It was the best ride ever! When we arrived DNL was not behind us. I paid the man and asked "where is my friend, I wanted her to stay right behind me?" He said "no worries she will be right here". I said "Ok cuz I dont want him to try to kidnap her". The look on his face was soo cute, it had the look like that was the furhtest thing from his mind and assured me its the furthest thing from his friends mind. I waited about 1 min and then DNL rolls up with ALL her teeth showing. She must have enjoyed the trip as much as I did. We walked back to our rooms and hi fived that that was the best ride EVER!!

I am sooo loving this report!!

I'm enjoying the report too. Your observations about the Dunn's River experience in Ochi reminded me of our first time there.
That craft market there has to have the most aggresive vendors on the Island. It started to put a damper on the whole excursion. (we were staying in Trelawny)
On the plus side; Linda bought me a spectacular Tanzanite and diamond ring of beautiful Indian gold at a jewellry store in Ochi after we went to Dunn's River Falls.
Indian gold is so beautiful.
That must have been in 1999 right around Valentine's day.
Great reporting by the way.

Haaaaa! Right on! There are many good and interesting things in this report.... We really dig 'em, but every now and then I just have to laugh out loud!...One was when after drinking way to much rum, you realized your limit's and said, "Pass The Lighter"... The second was after you vividly described the madhouse outside the Jungle and revealed that you had a "STUN GUN" in your cleavage... Laugh, giggle, smirk, smile, sigh...laugh! Haaaa! Thanks so much for sharing!