Rob, I think I may have worded my post in such a way that it came across wrong. I was wholly in agreement with what you wrote and was really just trying to echo those sentiments.
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Rob, I think I may have worded my post in such a way that it came across wrong. I was wholly in agreement with what you wrote and was really just trying to echo those sentiments.
Nice post. Refreshing to see you point these thigns out because after all, fair is fair.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bnewb
Point taken. To some, the fact that I even arrive solo, will have me pegged as "one of those", by locals and tourists alike. I can't help what others think, but again, good value to sharing the article in the 1st place, so at least single women are aware.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bnewb
When I travelled in Jamaica with my dad, tourists and locals alike thought I was his girlfriend. When I hang out in Negril with a white male tourist, tourists and locals alike think he is my husband. When I hang out in Negril with Jamaican men, tourists and locals alike think I am having sex with them. People are always gonna talk and make assumptions. As long as I know the truth, people can think what they want.
yep Sam I Am - so true. my observation has been that many (most??) people have their minds in the gutter, and will always 'assume' the 'Jerry Springer' scenario whenever they see any two people together. (and i don't mean only in JA - this seems to be universal from what i've observed.) meh. whatever. what other people think of me is not my business. I know who I am.
If a female tourist wants the company/friendship of a local man while on vacation, they can make a choice of their own, and chat up someone closer in age. Just because someone approaches you does not mean that is who you have to spend time with.
I've posted this before but I've heard many comments from Jamaican women when I'm with her. I understand Patois very well.
I've had working girls approach me and ask "Why you no want a younger girl?. She too old for you"
Attachment 30235
Thumbs up Sam I Am and MissBlue.
Lola, why does it have to be someone closer in age? You're having a conversation or hanging out...not getting married. Granted, chances are you'll have more in common with someone closer to your age...but either you have stuff to talk about and enjoy talking with each other or not, no matter what your age (or age difference). I wouldn't spend time with someone I didn't click with that approached me, period. I spent well over an hour talking to a man in Negril probably in his 70s (20 + years older) and thoroughly enjoyed it. But for that, I assume I'm not labelled?
Back to MissBlue's last comment....people have their mind in the gutter and are making their judgements on that. I don't think the main issue behind the linked article is age difference...may be that it's one common aspect of it, but I assume there'd be some nice looking gigolos closer to my age as well....if that were what I was looking for. It seems the typcial Romance Tourist is looking for a young man....but others that are simply enjoying company/friendship over a vacation, it's about clicking personalities, not age. If two people are over 21, and neither are unduly controlling or manipulating the other, or purposefully misleading the other...I don't see a problem in hanging out. It's when one has an agenda to use or rip off or abuse the other, that is the issue. And when it comes to that, IMO, anyone over the age of 21 is on an equal playing field when it comes to morals and values.
The idea that people should know better....ie: an older man needs to know that if a young woman is interested in him, it is only for his money? Therefore, an older woman should know that if a younger man is interested in her, it's only for her money? What if she doesn't have much money, does that count? By the same token, a wealthy man (who may be young or old, attractive or not so much) should know, that any woman who is interested in him, is only after his money? And vice versa? Sure, there are common pitfalls in any relationship that isn't close to equal in age or money matters, even as far as attractiveness goes, and it's smart for anyone in that type of relationship or friendship to be smart and careful. But it does come down to a lot of stereotypes and biases that aren't always applicable. And...who's going to define the "acceptable" closer in age value? Is it 10, 5, 2 years? What's the acceptable income difference value?
Melody, agreed that it doesn't have to be someone closer in age. I had a couple thoughts going on in my mind at one time. My main point is about choosing who one wants to spend time with.
Melody,Quote:
Originally Posted by Melody
The article is indeed about age differences, the article is titled "Thought it was just men who flew abroad for squalid sexual kicks? Meet the middle-aged, middle-class women who are Britain's female sex tourists".
The article also mentions the economic and opportunity difference as it states several times:
"The men are invariably from impoverished families, have little or no education and are sometimes illiterate."
"Yet this was the beginning of not a holiday romance but a commercial exchange between a relatively rich Westerner and an impoverished ‘beach boy’ ".
"The beach boys I met in Negril were all desperately poor and vulnerable, yet outwardly confident and hyper-masculine at the same time."
"It was an unusual sight — women, some in their 70s, bumping and grinding with men young enough to be their grandsons and drinking Red Stripe beer..."
The female authour is definitely addressing the fact that older and much more wealthy women are attracting younger, poorer and vulnerable young men for sex tourism.
The authour also addresses it is not an even playing field. MissBlue has stated the same. If you are in a relationship with a wealthy, professional Jamaican man who is not young enough to be your son, no one would ever think anything of your time together.
But the reality being what it is, when any tourist is in the company of Jamaican of the opposite sex young enough to be their child, who has no real job or is earning us$50 per week at their resort job, then humans, by their nature, will try to make sense of what they are seeing. And fortunately or unfortunately, for the most part it will not be seeing two adults on an equal playing field.
But why should that matter? Are you ever going to be seeing the other tourists around you again? So why care about what they think when you know what is actually taking place. If you are doing nothing to be ashamed of then dont worry about it. How or why should what they think bother you? Dont worry about it and have fun when you are here.
"But why should that matter? Are you ever going to be seeing the other tourists around you again? So why care about what they think when you know what is actually taking place. If you are doing nothing to be ashamed of then dont worry about it. How or why should what they think bother you? Dont worry about it and have fun when you are here."
Exactly. If you feel guilty or care what others think, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. Or maybe you should because the rush overcomes the concern. Who cares????? It's your vacation that you undoubtedly busted your a$$ for to make it happen.
If you want to hook up with a consenting adult, please do so. Just strap up and don't cry about it if you get burned.
Now back to the hideous tourist and hooker half their age.........
Agreed Rob. I was attempting to differentiate between the Romance Tourist and simply hanging out. I suppose an older gigolo would be more established, with more alternatives, thereby, less desperate and vulnerable. (I hadnt re-read the article to see the emphasis on that aspect) And yes, I have noted that I can't control what others think nor let it bother me, and it won't. My goal was to challenge people's automatic assumptions.
lol, I see I missed my goal with Booger...hopefully someone picked up on the points I was attempting to make. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by booger
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melody
Lol, not at all lady..... I can tell you are a kind person from your post. Just throwing in some humor.....
Seriously Booger... biggest JA mistake I have ever made was not spending time with you and your wife when I had the chance :) You crack me up!
PS - I didn't mean that sexually since some people will assume (grin)
lol, I have had the same thought many of times.... Let me know when you'll be back as our time was really short. For inquiring minds, we hung out at baggage claim. I fly A LOT, and this was by far my best baggage claim experience yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam I Am
Booger - Ill be there late November and most of May... PM me. Would love to meet up (baggage claim or bar of your choice)
Can't PM, but we just might cross paths if you are there end of Nov.
Sounds good :)
Hmmm interesting points...I'm American and every reach someone ask me am I Jamaican I've even been ask to bring ice to a room etc...I laugh it off as it's a compliment in IMO...
So when I'm with my "friend" 10yrs younger they ask where WE from when, I say I'm from US he's from here they give us a look as if "Oh your one of them" as the conversation gets shorter lol so I guess judgment comes in all forms...because I find they are ok talking to us when they think we are a couple from the same place but when they find out we are not.....Assumption comes to play.
It's all good at the end as I can care less what one thinks and just for the record I get approached here at home by younger men so it's not surprising to me.
Nice thread Lisa! In my 25 years I have traveled with many girlfriends and would like to say "have seen it all". My experience is no matter if you warn your girlfriends, they are going to do what they want. Most of them just got sneaky around me, sending western union etc. One girlfriend sent $150 to her guy so HE could get new shoes to take his son to school on his first day...I just asked her, "Where do you think the little boy gets his shoes??" How many times do you think I've been called a C#$K BL@#%ER?? HA!!:)
One party is Not in control of the relationship,the buyer has to "pay" to get the goods,right? Is the "working man or women" some fat beast? No,they are attractive because that adds to their "product" they sell.