Wow. OK, I am going to try and be positive here.
USC, if you want an "exclusive" vacation, then an AI is what you need. "Exclusive" as in "all locals except employees are excluded". But, I believe JA beaches are public up to the high-water mark, so there's no "guarantee". However, AI's on Bloody Bay and in more remote locales have no beach vendors. AI's aren't for everyone, but you seem to be their poster child. You can even do all of your shopping there! Like a cruise ship on the beach! Now that you know what you want, it is going to be all good in the future! JA has some AMAZING AI's with the Couples properties really top shelf in every respect. You seem to like cruising, so AI's are going to be the thing for you.
My second response has to do with your misconception of what is going on with vendors.
They don't "think" you need anything. That is why they ask you if you need what they are selling. If you don't need it, they won't keep after you, usually. How do they know that you know what they are selling? How do they know you won't want what they are selling? They have to tell you what they are selling and see if they can make a sale. That is their business. They have to find someone that DOES want what they vend. For us, we like to get vended on the beach by the patty guy, the jerk pork guy, the baked goods guy, the pineapple lady, and the lobster guy, if it is in season and its early in the day and the bugs are still quite hot.
We don't like to get higgled for weed, blow, viagara, vicodins, xanax or any other drug, but a shake of the head and a "no way mon, I don't do drugs EVER" or a "got what I need and got no more money" seem to work well in those situations. YMMV.
So, USC, now that you know, you can go! Check out Couples, you won't be disappointed.