Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 42 – Idle Awhile
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)

It is the hottest part of the day. Let’s get whatever done we need or want to so we can be chilling at the castle when its starts to cool down.

We jump back in car and head towards beach. Probably 5 to 10 minute drive we arrive and pull in Idle Awhile.
Park. Walk in office. Say we would like tour of the property.

Noticed on Greg and Lizardbeth’s (hope you are doing well!) posts.
They seem to really like the place.
Did full tour can only say EXTREMLY IMPRESSED.
Rooms are huge.

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Luxurious. Hip. Tropical.

Nice bathroom. Much bigger and nicer than RIU Tropical Bay rooms.
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Covered patios are so so so nice.

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Sit out here with beautiful view. Open air yet fully covered with lights etc.
wow.

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These 2 over 2 are facing beach

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Which makes ones to left I guess the garden view. We really liked all.
Unlike my bad photos you can very clearly see the water.
Beautiful.

Mrs. X LOVED the room. Rooms great but really set up for a couple or a couple with small kids. Not really set up for 2 couples because only 1 large open room. Walked the property not many rooms. 14 total rooms.

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Large beach. Both depth and width. Me likey this place.


Got a drink from bar at idle awhile

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Looked at beach and beach going into Coco La Palm.

Huge beach with very few people selling stuff.

Those patio areas are gorgeous !

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 43 – Coco La Palm
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)

Moved the car next door to Coco la Palm.

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On the beach. Coco La Palm gets excellent reviews so I want to check it out for myself. Lobby was busy. People checking in and out. Phoning ringing off the hook. We ask for tour of place. Not overly friendly but not rude in any way. Had our 2 Jamaican friends with us. Don’t think it made the slightest difference.

Viewed about 3 rooms. Big place. Showed us the least expensive rooms first.

Because people like it so much I guess I thought it was going to be nicer. I thought little dated. Clean functional. Standard motel. Progressively nicer rooms.

We just were at Idle Awhile next door which has total of 15 rooms vs. lots here at Coco La Palm. The rooms at Idle Awhile were really really nice. At Coco we looked at least expensive room first. She had no interest in looking anymore after that. I am a research got to keep on going.

Have checked in to 4 hotels this trip and all have been 15 rooms or less. Having the time of my life at small hotels. Regular room at Coco La Palm probably half of what cheapest room at Idle Awhile.

I walked the property. Pool is nice. Restaurant area is fine.

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In Coco La Palm's defense (like they need it) they were busiest lobby I saw in all of Negril. It was just a big place compared to all the other places I have been staying. I am really appreciating the small boutique hotels. I am 100% cliffs person I realize. Same stunning beach. Beach area huge. Secure. Lots of sun and shade.

I know many people love this place. I would hazard to guess an excellent place to get ur “feet wet” leaving an AI. Couple with kids of any ages. Group of girls. American style owned and operated hotel. Which can be taken as a plus or minus depending on you.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 44 – Canoe
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)

First chance to stop into Canoe this trip. Nobody there except bartender and us. Relaxed had a drink.

Attachment 3552

Old Jewish guy that appears to be a local and looks like he might have had a rough night or rough life. He appears to be a little out of it. He hears us talking and asks where we live?
Atlanta
“Everybody in the South is prejudice against black people”
I grew up in the South and unlike my wife who grew up in New York I have never been to a school that was not fully integrated (black and white)
I did not need to turn on the “Jeffersons” to see strong black women in the 70’s. Most of my school teachers were strong black women.
Only white guy on the basketball team.
I live in the most integrated city in the US
I come to Jamaica (not many black people) on my vacation
I am standing in Canoe (owned by Mr. John Kirby)
With my Jamaican friends who we are having dinner at their home on Thursday. (They both have much better tans than me)
Yup that’s me Mr. Prejudice against black people.
He said not you just everybody else from the South.
Well sure EVERYBODY else.

He was not getting any traction in his that argument he switched over to prejudice against Jewish people.
Well I (not Jewish) grew up in a mostly Jewish neighborhood in the South.
Wifey (not Jewish) was in a Jewish sorority in College.
Cannot count how many Jewish weddings I have been to.
I have Jewish cousins and nieces.
Yup that’s us racist to the core.

Maybe try the Gay tact?
He doesn’t try it but my best man at our wedding is gay for starters …

Truth is I did not say much to him but just ignored him. No upside in having prolonged discussions with idiots. In my past life if someone had started in on me I would have let them have it and been pissed off all day. He does not even get a slight rise out of me. I know he is just an old drunk trying to start sh*t with the wrong person.

Staff at Canoe kind of shoos him on down the street. I really don’t care and actually thought it was funny. Nothing bothering me this week.

Attachment 3551

Canoe can be very hit or miss as far as how many other people around. Does not matter to me. I got wife and friends and am perfectly happy the way it is. Just wanted a nice place to relax before we continue on today’s journey.

Canoe always works for me. Check out a couple Jamaican newspapers. Mr. and Mrs. Kirby are off today. (9 nights tomorrow. Read online where they knew Roger (our little brother) and they will be closed tomorrow).

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 45 – afternoon at BCC
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)

Back to Blue Cave Castle about 5pm for sunset. Hottest part of day has passed and a few clouds and breezy.

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Feels so good. Play in water. Jump off lower edges.

Easy access to water. Fewer places to jump in but easier to get in and out of water than Catcha. 2 access points plus u can actually swim out from underground cave into ocean so I guess 3.

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So I am on my float and I go all directions. Out into the ocean. I know I keep saying this but the water is crystal clear and I am floating in the middle of ocean (my story). I swear it is deep but I can see clearly. Still cannot believe I am floating and the water is deep like 100 feet!!!


Towards the beach and then towards the Samsara.

As I am near the unfinished castle I see a local has made his way out to the edge and is fishing with just a line of string no pole. As I get closer I can tell this person is kind of trying to stay below the radar. As I kick along on my float I say hello.
He kind of gives me that slightly nervous look.
Then I say “Am I almost to the lighthouse?”
Finally his silence is broken and he gets this shocked look on his face and says “it’s a long way from here to the lighthouse”.

I say “really damn I thought I would be there by now”.
“I put in at Green Island this morning I thought I would have reached the lighthouse earlier; do you think I will make Kingston by Dark??”

His eyes get really really big and he does not say a word just stares at me like he is looking at a ghost. I keep kicking and round the corner at Samsara and disappear from his sight. I was going to say something like “What you never seen a crazy white person before?” Damn did not want the guy to have a heart attack on my account.

hahahahaha :)

exceptional trip report
it was nice to sit down and read so much at one time
hey i made an honorable mention in your report - lol
i was holding my breath when you were staying at BBB
i know all the "characters" and they know my son and i
my son talks so much no one bothers us anymore
mark is a nice guy - took a bunch of us to treasure beach in december
glad you enjoyed my spot on the beach
did you meet Angela? i see her car parked out front :-)

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 46 – L & M (or M & L) Grocery
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)

Wife not feeling so good. Will turn out to be too much pre birthday sun and fun. She mostly just hung out in room and rested. While I floated.
We decided to walk to L and M (or M and L) grocery store which is just down the road to get drinks and snacks.

I am feeling pretty good. I am on vacation in Negril. I am staying in a freaking castle. I am staying in the Penthouse (prepaid) of said Castle. Since hardly anybody else staying at the Blue Cave Castle you could say (my story) I am king of the castle
I am feeling way better than good.
Sh*tty year but I am king of the castle today!
I wonder if people outside the castle know there is a new king?
I am sure word filters out among my kingdom. We walk from the Penthouse down to the gates of my castle. Right before we leave I ask the security guy “How is it out there?”, He looks at me with a serious look and maybe a little worried look “It’s pretty rough out there” I smile and say no worries brother not our first rodeo.

We exit the Blue Cave Castle and kind of stood right outside the closed gates to soak it all in. Well word MUST have reached the people that a new king was at the castle. I notice out of my peripheral vision people coming at me from all directions. Cars are stopping and honking at us. I am just soaking it all in. Love me some Jamaica. Love me some castle. Feeling pretty good about myself right now.

2 minutes pass and I notice that I am involved in 6 separate conversations. Yes me and 6 people except they are all ignoring each other and all are having 1 on 1 conversations with me. Some are in the early stages. Greetings, What’s up? etc.
Others are in more advanced stages. Like weather, sports, weed etc.
1 of the conversations we apparently are in some kind of heated negotiations over what I don’t know. He appears mad that I am driving too hard of a price. Whole time since leaving the castle I have not said 1 word.

I glance over at my wife and she is talking to 3 other people don’t really know what they are talking about but they are waving shinny trinkets at her. Not good.
She is reaching for the bracelets...
I felt like I was in a dream state and then I woke up. I laugh and grab my wife’s hand and start walking to the grocery store.

Quote:

---

Obviously new to the action, I was quickly surrounded and a bit overwhelmed despite my foreknowledge that this would likely happen. I ultimately just threw up my hands and walked away from a group of hustlers who made it clear they considered that poor form.

---

From A Modest Trip Report by jon c (12/17/10)


That pretty well describes it. Lol
I did not care in the least. I remembered the dangerous part of this trip was not these clowns it’s the freeway that I got to cross with wife. Soon as I started moving in my fast walk dragging the wife behind everybody was left in the dust. Easy walk to L & M Grocery except you still had to be extra careful on the road. Pop in store. It’s like a convenience store at home except its small and the aisles are very tight. Lots of stuff I recognize and stuff I don’t. Excellent selection of what I want. Drinks and munchies. Some stuff does not have a price on it. Get a few things including several fresh juices. Trust me if something does not have a price on it I am going to ask what the price is before I buy. This is where quick calculations help.

Get a few things. Wife definitely not feeling well. Walk by No Limit Bar they do not appear open. Maybe they should cover the sign when they are closed. No limit except when we are closed. Slow season.

She sees bracelets and decides she wants to look and get some for her “nieces”. She picks out agrees to dumb price for cheap bracelets. It’s her birthday. What am I going to say. She forgot the part about this is the one time u do want to negotiate hard when it’s cheap stuff that everybody has and you can get everywhere. Anyhow. He can’t make change. Course not. No problem I will wait for my change.

We are walking and she said he was nice. I said yes he was. In fact it was very nice of him to offer to sell me some coke. HE DID NOT! For a fact he did. What did you say? No thanks I am cool. We get back to the castle and guard lets us back in.

Mental note I will have to get some kind of public works program started to improve conditions in my kingdom. Right now I got to deal with the queen who is not feeling good and just wants to go back to bed. Get her situated. Back down 39 steps from the Penthouse to find the Teddy of Teddy’s Hideway Restaurant which is located in the back corner of the Blue Cave Castle.

I ask guard and he said Teddy left for the night. Damn. Off season. Slow ass season. Not like I have not been looking forward to ordering Teddy’s Lobster Thermodore and Famous Mountain Pepper Shrimp. Well actually I have been thinking about it since the day I made reservations at the Blue Cave Castle. I was mentally prepared to order same thing 2 nights in a row. Been thinking about it every day since then. Sure I mean split these 2 entrees with my wife. Lol. So truth be told I have been looking forward to eating with Teddy since a long time. And of course it’s my wife’s birthday dinner.

I get over my personal problems and think about my wife. Well if she is really sick then she would just stay in bed. I am guessing my wife is going to feel better about dinner time. Which means I got zero plan for her birthday dinner.

In Scooby Doo voice..." RUH ROH!"

Loving your report!

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 47 – L & M (or M & L) Grocery – part 2
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)

No really telling whats going to happen with wife in next 2 hours.

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I got some time you see before sunset.

Thanks and praise
You have read stories or seen TV shows where whole groups or communities pull together to help some dumb guy trying to be sweet to his woman on her birthday.

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Thanks and praise

I thought about this and how pulling out all stops to replace my perfect plans of eating Teddy’s food while watching the glorious sunset from the Blue Cave Castle for my wife’s birthday dinner.

I could pull every favor and call every number and work some magic and make this the most romantic night ever.

Whatever.
We had the best birthday dinner last night at Catch with our friends.
She is sick and might not even be hungry.
I am wore out from having so much fun since I landed in Jamaica.

Got to correct situation outside castle first. I was daydreaming and not paying attention last time I ventured out. This time I will be prepared. I got my iPod playing with my headset before I go.

Mood music.
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Because that’s how we do it in the US of A.
Damn compared to Detroit outside gates of my castle is like nice suburbs.
Not even counting all Mr. Eminem’s baby mama troubles etc.

Last time I left castle I was the king of the world and came back 15 minutes later scurrying in the gates like the king nobody likes or more importantly respects. Practically tail between my legs

I head for exit of my castle on foot for the second time. When the gate swings open I am moving. A man with a purpose. Got to walk back to store to get a few more things she wants and maybe check to see what might be open and close by that I could bring Queen to eat later.

I am moving up street the second I leave the gates. Sure it’s a little like a supermodel walking by a construction site I get a lot of looks and yelling at. I can’t hear that well anyway. Don’t give a sh*t only thinking about moving vehicles on the Autobahn outside my castle. Few people try to walk with me but a man with pace and purpose quickly drops all but one.

I have 1 escort trying to talk to me. I notice its cut finger guy. Last trip out of castle he keep trying to get us to look at his “doctor’s note” about the cut on his finger. While she was looking at bracelets 1 time I opened the old note that looked like a piece of paper that had been outside for a year or so. Unreadable. I looked at the cut on his finger. I am not a doctor but as a foreigner often called upon for medical advice. Dude u are not going to die from that. Soak it for 20 minutes in warm salty water couple times a day. Don’t have money for salt. Lucky for you ocean is right there for free. Soak it the ocean 2 times a day and quit messing with it.

Yup its cut finger guy again. I say hello as we are walking stride for stride up the street. Normally you might be creeped out by that kind of thing but I am a man with a purpose. I might need some man on the street information about what is going on in my kingdom.

He starts in about his hurt finger. As we are walking he is in the outside position of me so if anybody is going to get hit by flying vehicle it’s him not me. When a car comes I notice his reaction. If he does not react no problem but when a bigger vehicle comes and he starts leaning a little towards me as we are walking I know to lean the other way so we don’t slow down and don’t get run over. Nice to have a bodyguard. Nobody gets a chance to talk to me because we are moving and I got an escort.

We get to store again.

If that finger is really bothering you I will get a machete in this store. When they are new they are really clean. I have had to do this before. We will cut it off right below the knuckle and within say 2 weeks it will stop hurting. Probably.

Should I get a machete while I am in the store I ask him? Now he is a little worried he has invested all this time in me and I am a little crazy or worse not going to give him anything. He says no on the machete but maybe would I get him something in the store. I tell him to wait here we will continue our discussion upon my return.

Pop in store grab few things hit register and ask what my price is.

Walk out with my bag. Sure enough my escort is still there. Probably happy I did not walk out with a machete. He walks me back to castle. I ask a few questions about places open etc. He never mentions his hurt finger again. He always stays in the outside lane walking which is all good with me. I get a better idea of where to walk on each part of the road. Only a couple spots where u got to really watch. 5 minute walk at most and we are back at castle.

I say see u later. My friend looks a little sad. Reach in my bag and give him a Pepsi, a red stripe and all the money I had left which was 100J ($1.20US). Since he had already figured he was getting nothing from me he was a little surprised and was thankful.

I am not big on rewarding bad behavior. In this case I felt I was rewarding good behavior. He escorts me up and down the road. Kept me from getting run over. Answered my questions. Cost me 2 drinks and a dollar. If I gave that to him from the start he would have been disappointed. Since he was planning on getting nothing by the time we got back he was happy.

So trip number 2 outside the castle I would say more even exchange with the people of my kingdom. Start to feel better about things. Wonder if the Queen is feeling better best go find out.

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Back up stairs

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Look I got rocks in my pool. Yes but there is 20 feet of water on top of those rocks it is so clear hard to see. Besides rocks attract all kinds of pretty fish.


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Nice not having neighbors on that side of my castle. Whats up with that big empty property beside me? Maybe I will buy it. Put that on my to do list.

"So I am on my float and I go all directions. Out into the ocean. I know I keep saying this but the water is crystal clear and I am floating in the middle of ocean (my story). I swear it is deep but I can see clearly. Still cannot believe I am floating and the water is deep like 100 feet!!!"


That is EXACTLY how I feel..no matter how long I am in Jamaica, the crystal clear waters never cease to amaze me. Am really enjoying your report! :)

I asked that same question 5 years ago....who owns that empty property next to the castle? And why isn't that person me? How about the boardies pool our money and buy the land, we could build a place and have a real headquarters! Lol

A boardie time share ? lol

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 48 – Ciao Jamaica
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)
Ok she is better and wants to know what I got planned for big birthday dinner. I reiterated the part about coming to Jamaica and the castle and the penthouse directly on cliffs directly on the ocean. She says something about no AC. Anyhow explain about business probably being slow and Teddy taking the night off and that last night with our friends was really birthday lobster dinner. Wow what a great night it was. She acted like she did not hear me. So I guess we are going to that Ciao Jamaica place that we have gone under the banner for 10 times since we have been in Negril.

I remember seeing this place open online a few months ago. Not really what I would pick but its open, close by and one of few options for me. She says ok. Girls always like Italian.

We leave castle for my 3rd trip on foot back same way a little past the grocery store. Pretty dead out. What all the hustlers on break? Morning shift done and night shift not in?

Anyhow just us.
Problem I got is it is not just me walking down road. Wife could be fine and then get a phone call and drift out into the road to get better reception maybe. Can not let a birthday call go unanswered today. So I got to be like cut finger guy and shepherd her in danger spots.

Short walk less than quarter mile. Very dangerous. Buildings are built out to street so in some places literally no shoulder or space to walk on. Cars, motorcycles, trucks fly by around this blind curb. Kind of freaks me out a little. Because of this makes me edgy. The whole driving on the other side of the road messes me up some days.


Dinner at Ciao Jamaica
We arrive maybe 1 other couple dining. Good size place. Have read mixed stuff not going to mention this to my wife. They acted happy to see us. Escorted us to outside balcony seating which we requested after looking around. Sat us and came and took our drink order in what I would consider a very fast time. Brought us drinks fast. Good service. She is not feeling well so we are going to order now. Ask a few questions. I had seen the menu on line. Just waited to see what she orders and base mine on that. Can not remember what she ordered but I ordered the snapper so she must have ordered pasta or something.

Food came out in what I would consider very fast for Negril that was not pre done. I take a couple of bites. Not bad at all. She takes a couple of bites and says she does not feel good and wants to go now. You mean now now? NOW! Dont really remember her ever saying that before. Waiter excuse me need a to go box. Got to go. Sorry. My wife does not feel well at all. Please bring bill and to go box please. Thank you. They boxed food and I paid and we were out the door. The cook seemed genuinely offended that we did not like the food. I assured him everything was great my wife is not well. Thanks so much. Get out door and head straight to Blue Cave Castle. Wife does not stop or look around. I do notice No Limit Bar still looks closed.


Review of Ciao Jamaica
Cannot really say since we left at start of dinner. Guess that kind of stuff never stopped me before. Food not bad just that she is not feeling well and was not really hungry so we left pretty quick. Not there was anything wrong with food. IMO Kind of place that would have killed years ago. Now there are so many great places to eat. Could probably handle a big group. Just not my cup of tea. Not cheap compared to other places. Safe choice if you are right there.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 49 – Later at the Castle
September 8th, 2010 – Wednesday – (Day 5)
Walked back into castle. Tried to reach over and unlock gate myself. Did not work and security guy opened up and kind of shook his head at me. Guess that’s been tried before. Put her to bed (with TV remote) I hung out in courtyard and on my various patios and balconies and terraces and watched the stars from the highest hotel room in Negril. Don’t want to go to sleep it is so cool out here. Mostly quiet. Occasional car. Sometimes later might be 10 minutes before a car passes. Guess mufflers first thing to go on motorcycles because I can hear them from a mile away at least. Sounds like they are going fast and they usually are but still takes a minute to get to the castle and a minute or two to get out of sound range so I might hear 1 motorcycle for 3 or 4 minutes. Kind of cool. Bet if u knew anything about motorcycles u would know all about the motorcycle just from the sound. Me don’t know sh*t about motorcycles except for the most part Jamaican motorcycles are loud.

I live in big city don’t really see the stars that well. Cannot express the view. Stars and Moon are lighting up the ocean. I can see forever in all directions. Highest point is a big deal. Higher than everything except the interior hills which are the only part of my panorama not lit up.

People always talk about best this and best that. I am good with excellent or 2nd best at half the price of 1st best. Does not matter if you are talking best food, hotels or best view. Unless you sampled ALL multiply times over a long time period kind of hard to say the “best”. I guess the best really means the best you have had (recently). May or may not be the best for other people. May or may not be the best for me.

Penthouse of the Blue Cave Castle has the best views I have ever seen in my life. I love views anywhere.
Love the views in San Francisco, New York, etc.
Stayed on top of a crest of a cliff (Ladera like Anse Chastanet but smaller) in St Lucia in a hotel room with only 3 walls and where the fourth wall would be completely opened up the Pitons. Stunning

Blue Cave Castle I am getting so many incredible views in any direction. Best views I have ever seen. Period.

I guess it’s the vast sky and stars above. I can lay out here and stare at them forever. Wow. Oops falling asleep. Tried fighting it. Don’t know if I better sleep out here no telling what could get me. I pull myself up the four steps into the bedroom of the Penthouse. I close door and lock. Wife is sleeping I turn off the TV. Make sure slots in windows are open for maximum breeze. Fan on medium. On high I could not hear the ocean. Look at clock 1159pm.
Hell of a day.
Started off my Reign a little too cocky got slapped by reality. Smartened up after that. Got to earn respect. No freebies. Good thing I have been writing this stuff down or nobody would believe all the crazy sh*t that has happen today.

In St Lucia, were you at Anse Chastanet with the view of the Piton's?

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 50 – 1st morning at the Castle
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)
Wake up don’t know what time it is, early just starting to get light. I remember that I am staying in Penthouse of a Castle. For some reason this makes me Jump out of bed quick. I can sleep at home. Quick pit stop and got dressed (put flip flops on) and head down the various flights that make up the 39 steps to the courtyard of my castle to see if one place can have coffee before I get down there. Its 545am. Still dark. Walk across the courtyard can smell, hear and see the ocean. Wow. What a view. Get to coffee hut and big old percolator coffee is already set up and waiting on me. Nice. Now that’s how you run a castle. Nobody around nowhere. I got the whole castle to myself and apparently a couple of gallons of coffee. Real Good coffee too! Nobody to bug me. Life is good.

I hang out in courtyard. Plenty of tables and recliners. Queen and most everybody else seem to be still sleeping. Water is so calm and clear. Few fisherman small boats out and not much else. Couple of roosters must live in the general neighborhood. Write a few travel notes. Laptop internet works down here but not in Penthouse. My internet thing not that strong. I got a better one (2011) so probably work better. Enjoy the morning before it gets too hot in the direct sun. 3 or 5 trips back to coffee bar. Pop up to room every half hour or so to check on the queen. And of course the view of my kingdom coming to life. Relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet. Give thanks and praise (well actually about 3rd time this morning but I have been up for 3 hours.

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Check out the creamer that goes with the coffee. They call it milk but looks a little off color and is probably some kind of heavy crème. I noticed both the “milk” and the plastic container holding the brown sugar were on saucers with water surrounding the containers for the milk and sugar are right in the middle of the water. I guess maybe they were packed in ice and it melted? Anyhow it is warm. I spilt a little crème and coffee got to find a paper towel. Don’t see any around. Don’t want to leave a mess.

Got little walk way along edge of property surely they got paper towels or rags in kitchen/restaurant area.


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Plumbing codes maybe little different in other countries
Do not see that many outside sinks where I am from.
Looks like that p-trap is upside down

Go all the way back. I see a young guy. Hey what’s up? I need a few paper towels I got a little spill. No problem. He gets me a couple of paper towels. Seems like a nice guy. As I am leaving I remember what is really important in life. Always got to think big picture.

Hey listen man I will be sitting out there all morning if that Teddy Chef guy comes around you please come get me right away.
He gets this funny look on his face.
I AM TEDDY!! He says.
We laugh.

I am trying not to be judgmental. I prefer my Chefs to be old and fat. He is young and skinny. I am trying to open my mind and concentrate on the big picture and not get caught up in stupid prejudices. Results over petty idiosyncrasies.

Ok Teddy this is the deal the only reason I am staying in this old hell hole of a castle is because of ur food. I heard it was really good. Last night wife’s big birthday and u were gone. Whole vacation was based on u and u No showed me last night. Killing me Teddy. Killing me. I can screw up enough with my wife’s birthday as it is without any help from u. Only you can make things right. Here is the deal I want to get on the Teddy’s meal plan. You know about the Teddy’s meal plan don’t you?

He kind of looked confused

Teddy’s Meal Plan you know about that?

He shakes his head and says not sure what that means.
I say Teddy’s Meal Plan is the plan where I give you $100 (US) right now and you keep bring me food until we are even. Tax, tip everything.
How does that sound?

Cool he says with big smile on his face. (Remember its offseason, slow season)
Now I say it’s just me and my wife and we are leaving tomorrow but I am going to want ur Famous Lobster Themodore and she is going to want ur Famous Mountain Pepper Shrimp tonight for dinner.
Cool I say?
No Worries Brother he says.
Cool

Sure you are thinking I am back stuck at an All-Inclusive (AI) that I cannot leave the "compound”?

On the other hand maybe I just got a top notch personal chef prepaid for my prepaid penthouse of my oceanfront castle.

I think I will go to one of my 4 balconies and look down on all the little people.
BRING ME MY WINE! I am shouting.
BRING ME MY WINE!!! Don’t really drink wine but I can’t help yelling it.
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!! I shout from the top level.

Attachment 3629

Its 8:45am … May have to throttled back on the coffee a little.
Cannot help it I got no experience on how to act with my own freaking castle.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 51 – Later 1st morning at the Castle

Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)
Queen still sick. I explained the Teddy meal plan and how good it is going to be. She is not hungry and does not want to come down. Please come down and eat and drink and if you don’t feel good then go back to bed. She mentions something about a ghost last night. I am kind of in a hurry to get back down the 4 flights of steps to the courtyard to order breakfast from Teddy and start the Royal food sampling. But no. can’t be that simple. I got to stop and ask about the “ghost”. I know I locked all the doors. And everything is still here and the ghost did not harm us in any way. Maybe it was a dream due to ur sick condition? I think I saw a ghost by the door. Well listen honey nowhere on the board did I read anything about the castle being haunted. Besides it’s only like 30 years old. Not like it is an old haunted castle. She seems better about it and decides to come get coffee and food.

I feel better about situation. Its upsetting wife not feeling well on vacation and the room could be haunted. On the other hand I have prepaid for the Penthouse of a Castle and Now I have a prepaid personal chef lined up. Well not that hard of decision. I am feeling pretty good.

Come outside and look at the little houses and little people from the top of ur castle. Have wife do the beauty queen/movie star slow open hand wave to the boats going by. Boats always stare and wave at the castle. Even she admits this makes her feel better. We go down to coffee bar. Spot I forgot to clean up because I was so excited about my deal with Teddy now has 1000 ants that came from nowhere to suck up the crème I spilled. Now I get it those are not melted ice around the sugar and creamer on small plates (saucers?) those are water barriers. Moats to keep the ants at bay.

Beautiful but you are not in a plastic bubble with a sterile environment. Nature. Teddy comes out. Make introductions with wife and Teddy. Order. Just could not do the Jamaican special of Ackee and Salt fish. 4 days in a row I ordered the special breakfast wherever I was. I greatly enjoyed all 4 times.

Apparently 4 days is my limit of days in a row with the Jamaican National dish of ackee and salt fish, Johnny cakes etc. Calaloo. I ate it first breakfast and craved it next 3 breakfasts and greatly enjoyed but I can’t do it no more. Some kind of non-pancake dishes. Some kind of shrimp scramble.
Wife was looking at blackberry or something (before IPhone)
Took 1 bite of her food.
Looked up from phone
Said best food of whole trip
Back to Facebook.
Ate couple more bites and went back to bed
I was forced to eat both breakfasts in the name of research and of course munchies.

Going to be only full day at the castle. Nothing planned at all except having fun at the castle until our sunset late afternoon at castle complete with a Royal Cruise aboard the King’s Yacht.

Played in water. Saw 2 locals divers get out of water at the unfinished castle. They did not catch but 2 fish. Both were about 2 &1/2 feet long. Nice fish. We yelled from float and they smiled and held them up and said Barracuda. Rest of day everywhere I went I told people about the fish. (That’s the kind of thing people like to hear about) by next day everybody in the area knew about the 2 big fish and who caught them. News travels fast in small town.

Made another trip to the L & M store. 4th time leaving the castle on foot. 3rd solo.
It sad the strong always prey on the weak.
I wish it were not that way.
Just the way it is.
Always has been.
Always will be.
The hustlers don’t even bother with me anymore.
They look up and see me. “Shake their heads and say crazy white man” and just turn their eyes.
Not going to let them off the hook that easy. When I get back from store and before entering my castle.
“I thought u guys were some kind of “hustlers” looks to me u are just sitting around in the shade all day”
“Some white guy was down there giving out money. It was crazy. Guy was drunk or something just starts handing out money. Everybody starts leaning forward and looking at me. Down there. (I point from the direction I came). Even gave me a $10 bill I say and hold it up. Yeah he left I say as I pop back in the castle. Suckers!

LOL!!!
Mr. X, your posts are the highlight of my morning....best way to start the day. Loving it!

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 52 – Even later 1st morning at the Castle
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

I had seen Famous Vincent yesterday when we were at Catcha Falling Star and told him to stop by the Blue Cave Castle and we would set something up for a sunset cruise on Thursday. Many of the boats look alike but when they get closer u can recognize Famous Vincent piloting Elvira and usually first mated by Roger.

I see them from the top of my castle. I wave and they wave. I say hold on I will meet u down at the landing. Down the 39 steps to the courtyard and then a bunch more to get all the way down to the water. No problem all downhill. I jump on boat and say hello to Vincent. I am looking at Famous Vincent and I know I have met him before. He says he remembers me. Sure thing but it has to be more than 15 years since I have seen him. (Which is how long I have known wifey so best gloss over who I was with I tell him). Too funny all this time when people talk about him on the board I thought I did not know him yet I did. Anyhow we catch up for a few minutes.

Hey Vincent this is what I would like to do. If you can do it great if not no problem. I would like to take a sunset cruise. Just slowing cruising up the coastline of the cliffs. Don’t want to go to beach or even snorkel today just a slow easy relaxing cruise. Then wherever the best sunset is today Catcha or the Caves we will be between them and the sunset for the best possible view. I got me and my wife and my friend and his wife who live here in Negril. I would like for it to be just us. Would $100 be fair? He smiled and shook my hand. Cool. We agree on 415pm. Kool. (How did u arrive at $100? Well this is what I had budgeted. He usually does $20 a person to snorkel. 4 of us so say $80. Offseason and very slow. I want to be fair and generous but I always don’t want to run out of money.) Anyhow if Vincent says it is cool then it is cool.


So I got the Royal Yacht lined up so that leaves me all day to play at the castle until about 4pm then I can get ready for sunset cruise.

I float, swim, snorkel and jump off cliffs all day. As I mentioned earlier cliff jumping is something that’s fun for me. I know I don’t look cool or graceful but since nobody around I don’t care.

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Little cloudy and overcast. I love it. Warm but not hot. Besides it always seems to clear up for a beautiful sunset.

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This is sky at 430pm. Wonder how sunset will turn out today?

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)
As per usual right before Famous Vincent is due to arrive the girls decided they need to go to store and get a few things. Um ok but hurry trust me Famous Vincent will be on time. Minute they leave he shows and takes another 10 minutes for girls to return. Were u worried about wife going to store alone? She was not alone she was with my friends wife who lives in Negril. I am not worried in the least. My friend’s wife is not going to have no problems with hustlers, traffic or unmarked prices at store. She is Jamaican. Got what they wanted and wife gave money to friend to get local price.

Can’t forget when the 4 of us were out somewhere and someone tried to sell her cheap bracelets. My friend’s wife looked at the vendor like she was in shock. The vendor kept trying to sell her. Finally she was no longer speechless. She gave her the look and speech I would give someone if they were trying to sell me some junk in front of a store that had the same thing for a fraction of the price.

We load up the boat and make all introductions and then we are off.

I ask Famous Vincent how has business been at the beach and he says it’s like a graveyard. He would check every day but no business down there.

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Here comes our ride

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right on time

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castle landing makes for easy boat access

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love me some blue cave castle. Can see Terrace #2 to the top left. Terrace #1 to top right. Terrace #4 and #3 are top middle. me, me, me and mine

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cruising towards start of cliffs/beach

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Tropical Storm came 1 week after we left bet those blue tarps flew off

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cliffs die out and beach starts

An incredible read, you really should write a book of your adventures!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr. X

[B]Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

[SIZE=3]Chapter 53 – Famous Vincent
Attachment 3648
Tropical Storm came 1 week after we left bet those blue tarps flew off

---

those blue tarps are on those new buildings at the old Heartbeat property that was sold.........
wonder how much work they have done on those buildings since last year.......
they were suppose to be opened by now?
and so it goes.........

Cool Runnings, Marko

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

We left the castle and went towards beach until the cliffs ended and the beach started. We turned around and back past BCC and headed to Light House at far end of cliffs.

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Unfinished castle

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zero chance of putting that sail up

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Kaiser Cafe

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Far right is Xtabi Cottage #1 the most photographed hotel room in Negril

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Cottages #1,#3 and #4 - #2 is a little hidden

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Stunning water in front of Xtabi

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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3 Dives

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???

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You can see the metal fence that blocks ur view on far cliff road. Storm blew it down after we left

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So they get 15 min to snorkle and i guess use the bathroom and then they blow the whistle at them

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cool

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can not tell by my photos the water is the clearest here. so clear almost blueish.

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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Cloudy but starting to clear up

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nice place

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we park and go in Rockhouse

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wife loves those rooms. bet they are pricey

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This is what is called a sunset "sail". Probably don't even own a sail.

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Just want to pop my head out and ck it out

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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Negril Escape

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jumping from baby lighthouse still looks pretty high to me

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I love offseason but sure would like to catch a concert here. Somebody with the last name Marley at this place would be a big deal for me.

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I need to check out this property. Good reputation.

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Le Mirage

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Looks like a photo shoot in progress

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)


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my photos always make the cliffs look dingy. In real life they look clean and crisp

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Yes i would jump from bridge. At 17ft top end of fun zone for me. Love the shots of girls jumping off bridge wearing their wedding dresses.

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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What could be around this corner?

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Catcha Cove and my floats appear to be waiting on me.

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Big cove shared by Catcha, Banana Shout and Ricks. That was my pad in the big white building. That brown fence and cottage beside it (upper left) will be my residence on Friday night.

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Banana Shout still on my list to check out

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We went around Ricks. Too many boats and people to get near. We will get closer on the way back.

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fishing for dinner with just a string would be my guess

beautiful pictures on your ride with vincent!

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)


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sure there are rocks in the water but 20 feet of water on top. Beautiful Water!

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)


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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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Bad photographer and bad camera. Even from Catcha u can clearly see the detail on the Lighthouse.

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How is ur sunset today? mine is ok

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Even cheap camera and wrong setting can not mess this up.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)


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Battleship cloud.

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Getting back to Ricks.

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Still plenty of people

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Back by Catcha. Everybody is yelling and waving at us. Thats Kevin heckeling us. We will see you tomarrow!

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That girl just dove off from Catcha. She must have been on the dive team.

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See plenty of places to jump at Catcha that are not too high.

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blah blah blah

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Catcha Cove

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 53 (cont) – Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

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Care to guess how the Queen is feeling?

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Beautiful place wife keeps bringing it up. Dont even want to see the room rate. Tour might be nice.

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I am adding notes and stories to sunset cruise, just had to get photos in first. Camera battery died. I got plenty of photos (lol) except the final bits of light.

love the James Bond bathroom scene,, pictures are breathtaking, stealing prolifically

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 54 – Review of Famous Vincent
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

Famous Vincent set up or confirmed 4 trips for other people while we were on the boat. He did not write down a time or pick up place for any of the 4 different groups. I guess he just remembers.
He has goodness about him. If I was to go overboard I would give my valuables to him verse say my wife. Don’t know Roger that well but he works with Vincent so my guess is he may or may not be a Saint like Famous Vincent but he seems to be a real good guy. My friend Grenville is definitely a Saint. I never say that about people. For whatever reason, I usually don’t give this much thought but if something were to happen and it was just us 4 guys on the boat I am the weak link. Whether bad storm, survival without food or standing before my maker looks like I am not getting even the bronze medal. Clearly I am going to be in last place with this group of men.

Mental note – maybe not best group to take to Scrub a Dub

So as we are heading up the cliffs we notice a photographer taking photos of 2 bikini clad “models”. As we go by they pull off their tops and start waving at us. Now they know we got our girls with us so they are really rubbing it in so to speak. Anyhow riding with 3 Saints or not I am not going to let some hot women flash me and really try to rub it in just because our wives are with us.

“Not bad, not bad we got u girls in a strong 4th and 5th place. We will be back in a half hour. See if u can up ur game”

But I don’t say a word I just put the camera down and turn away.
Why?
Cause ur wife was there?
Nope 3 Saints and wife I still would have at least heckled something.
Why no reaction?
Well my Friends wife is in the boat and I cannot act like a total fool (at least till she gets to know me better.) I think she is a little embarrassed that they were Jamaican girls flashing us. Too funny. They probably were from Atlanta not Jamaica I am thinking.

Riding with Famous Vincent
Like walking with a popular mayor in a small town. Everybody waving at you. Saying hello. Vincent is cool so if u are with him then that makes u cool. Not bad. Not bad at all. Given all options going VIP is usually a good choice.

Most of those booze/sunset no sail cruises are about $100 a couple. Having been on them from an AI before for most people it is one of the highlights of their vacation. Seems to me instead of having people blow whistles at me and serve me cheap rum with the other sheep. Being King and having a Royal yacht skippered by Famous Vincent. Pretty sweet. Btw paying same price as sheep just happened to have my own private yacht. (and castle)

2009 we went snorkeling from the RIU. Most snorkel trips are about the same price. ($20-25 a person) They drove us to reef and pointed and told us to jump in. If you go on a snorkel trip with Famous Vincent, he is going to personally get in the water and lead you. I went snorkeling with Famous Vincent (2011) saw all kinds of beautiful fish, Rays, Big Sea Turtles. He picked stuff off the seabed and let me hold. I learned so much. Answered all my dumb questions. Same price as other snorkel boats 10 times the experience with Famous Vincent. Call Famous Vincent and they will pick you up at any hotel on cliffs or beach. Snorkle, Fishing, Sunset Cruise or whatever. Famous Vincent is named Famous for a reason. (876/473-6910)

A trip with Famous Vincent is a MUST DO, because after seeing your pics and reading your experience, I definitely want to do the same! :)

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 55 – 2nd Night at the Castle
Sept 9th, 2010 - Thursday – (Day 6)

It is dark dark when Famous Vincent pulls us back into the landing for the Blue Cave Castle. We unload and say our goodbyes to Vincent and Roger. I paid Vincent and gave Roger 1000J tip. Thanked them. Climb up steps into lower part of castle. Gate is closed. Damn did not even know this gate came down. Pitch dark. Royal yacht already drove off. We are stuck locked outside the gates of castle. What to do?
Granville has to yell security to get them to open the water gates and let us back in. Within minutes lights are on and they let us back in the castle. New security guard has come on duty and did not know we were out on the water. No problem except the other guard is now gone and I forgot to tip him (helping us move in) like I said I would. Nice touch on my part.

Granville and wife head home
Wife does not feel good at all. She went straight to room and bed.
I had already order the lobster Thermodore and the Mountain Pepper Shrimp. Forced to eat both by myself. I had been thinking about this lobster thermodore since the day I made reservations at the Blue Cave Castle.
Excellent.

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Mountain Pepper Shrimp. Pepper means hot. Like hot hot. Made me sweat eating them. Wow. Hot. I telling you cause if you don’t like it really hot you best talk to the chef before ordering. I want it the way it is suppose to be.

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Boss not coming back down tonight. Hope the ghost takes the night off.

I spilled a few drops of Ting within an hour there was a double line of ants came from nowhere and now there were literally hundreds. Not near the bed so I was not too worried.

I had observed a very cute baby lizard behind the picture by the door when we first checked in. Since he was little and cute and way over on that side of the room not a problem for me.

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Photos taken earlier in day.

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Every time I come into room I check behind 1st picture to see if my pet is there.

I get wife situated. She is asleep within minutes.
I go back down to courtyard and hang out.
Nobody around. Play on computer and just relax.

Teddy comes out and is fishing right over the wall. We hang out, talk and share a smoke or 2. Teddy catches a little fish.

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Some kind of fish I never heard of. He says they are very good to eat. Just small and lots of bones. Well I guess I see why we North Americans don’t see them much small and lots of bones are not big selling points. Can you imagine the marketing meetings for this kind of fish. Small and lots of bones but great tasting verse large no bones and no tasting fish?? No wonder I have not even heard of this fish. I ask if they are really good tasting? He says I will find out for breakfast.

Same night routine I eventually go to top of castle and sit on various baloneys and enjoy the view and sounds of the night. On a clear night the sky is so vast and the stars are so bright. Wow. I live in the big city and you do not see stars so well due to the lights. I have been places and seen plenty of stars. Being elevated in the castle makes for stunning star viewing. I really cannot describe how cool the view really is. Don’t want to go to sleep but finally I cannot stay awake anymore and go to bed.

I check picture by door and yes cute baby lizard is behind. Ok little lizard u stay on this side of room and we are going to have no problems. Do you see how I am becoming more in step with nature. Live and let live. Asleep as my head hits the pillow.