Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Love your writing, Mr. X....please continue!

Thank you for breaking down the $ conversion....I'm leaving for negril (first time) and this has helped me alot.

Enjoying your report, looking forward to the rest!

Absolutely LOVE the line about what you think of everytime you're about to land, LOL! I literally laughed out loud!!

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 17 – Mr. Bigga

September 4th, 2010 – Saturday – Day 1 (AKA D-Day)
I had called Granville and had him stop by Mr. Biggas in Green Island on the way to the airport to get his phone number. Wanted to call him and let him know we were coming by. He basically is slow cooking beside the road so just don’t know what he might have ready when we arrive but if he had advanced warning then get him to make us some food.

Did not call Mr. Bigga because it was so late. Have all-you-can-eat-buffet at Seastar Inn at 8pm. My plan was great hitting Mr. Biggas between 330pm and 4pm and then dinner at Seastar Inn Buffet at 8pm. But now it is going to be 7pm at least depending on traffic. Before you know it is dark as we come thru Lucea. I have always liked Lucea and thought of it as a nice area. Have never even stopped. I don’t mind but wish our friends could see. But too dark can only get glimpse here and there. Like flash bulb shots of street happenings.

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If you had not been here before might have a different view. Don’t get to see any beautiful vistas of rolling green hills and beautiful water views more urban when it’s dark. Can’t see all the flowers and natural beauty when it’s dark and wet. Kind of resembles passing thru a gritty urban area in some parts but if u look closer you will notice some of the building are really old. Churches. Govt. Buildings. Clock tower. Lots of history all over this island.

An hour and a half after they walk out of airport we are pulling into Green Island. Had stopped at check cashing place, rain soaked roads and Saturday traffic. It is decided to pop in just in case Mr. Bigga is open.
So you are going to stop and eat on the way to an all-you-can-eat-buffet?
Yes.
Cause ur hungry?
Not really.
Why?
Well I am a foodie and this will be my second visit to Mr. Biggas.

Still very overcast and dark and wet.
Is that a big tour bus pulling out of Mr. Biggas? WTF???
Yes but it was empty so probably just the driver getting food. Mr. Bigga is walking up as we pull in. Appears to remember us and we introduce our friends. Grab few jerk chickens for road. Use bathrooms. Tell him we are going to call and pick up boxed lunch or picnic this week. They spend their time doing bathroom or cell phone or whatever. Me? I am a professional.

I try to eat as fast and much as I can. Holy sh*t. What flavor on the chicken meat. I am not altered in any way. Well maybe a few beers. Not that hungry cause I ate at airport. Damn good. Damn. Wow. Then there is the sauce. Wtf? Is there crack/magic/love in this stuff? I cannot believe how good it is. If you do not like spicy food. Then well don’t really have any advice for you. But if you like it spicy you going to be happy. Wow.

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So thats my friend to far left talking on phone. Mr. Bigga in middle and me to right chowing down. Mr. Bigga is not a big talker. I had already dropped Bill Smiths name last year (Smith744) so after a while between bites I ran out of things to say. “So you know Laurel?” I say. (I have not met Laurel or any other boardies – just only thing I could think of to say) “Yup” He says. “Cool” I says.

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How is it possible his shirt stays so clean. Back to gobbling. Clean up we got to go to Negril. Say our goodbyes. Guess I will worry about my lips burning if it does not stop in say the next hour or so. Till then just got to take it. Wow that was some good chicken. I can see why he does not want a sign or anything. Could start a rush of people to ur business. Overwhelm you. Forced to subcontract. Bring in a few Mexicans to do the cooking. (Same thing happened to Arte Buco on the Sopranos) Quality drops. Crowds drop before you know it you are mailing out early bird specials and 2 for 1 cards. Not the same. Good thing for me I guess Mr. Bigga has decided to take a low key approach to marketing and signage.

I really got to stop dreaming about jerk chicken. I eat chicken daily done in a variety of ways from inexpensive to expensive including many cultures. All ways of cooking chicken. Not saying I have eaten a lot of chicken but I would say it is over 10,000 times. Over Ten Thousand Times. Big enough sample group for you?

How is it possible the guy beside the dusty road near Green Island, Jamaica has the best chicken I have ever tasted. That is not even factoring in the optional sauce? Which is the bomb. I have seen people go crazy eating spicy wings from the Colonel. If they ate Jerk Chicken and sauce from Mr. Bigga near Green Island, Jamaica it would cause rioting in urban areas. Remember when Kenny Rogers Rotisserie Chicken hit NYC? Kramer on Seinfeld bout lost it. Please Mr. Bigga Chicken and Sauce would cause MAYHAM. When he ran low on chicken it would be like those 1970s movies where heroin ran out and everybody is jonesing. Yo you seen Mr. Bigga? Yo yo anybody seen Mr. Bigga??

Well you know what I say once you have gone Mr. Biggas jerk chicken with special sauce hard to go back to mass produced factory fed hormone filled roasted chicken at the super market.

If there is some better chicken in my life path please do tell.

Good stuff, it took me a couple of days to get here (sneak reading at work). I'm ready for some more!

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 18 – Seastar Inn
September 4th, 2010 – Saturday – Day 1 (AKA D-Day)
Pitch dark as we head into the outskirts of Negril. Can see sunset in far distance little burb of light but dark everywhere else. Looks beautiful if you had been in say Negril to see it instead of driving to Negril and missing it.

Came thru Negril. Dark and wet so could not see much. I tried. Explained landmarks best I could. Bloody Bay, Great Morass, Main beach, Negril river, Canoe, Start of cliffs. Baby look the Blue Cave Castle. Road is curvy and dark. Almost to Ricks on west end road and you turn left on Seastar Lane. A road but not like main road. I would say a Lane. Go about ¼ mile or less that looks more like a neighborhood with both nice homes and very modest looking residences and everything in between. Mostly looked like a neighborhood verse a tourist area. On right is entrance to Seastar Inn.

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Gates were closed. Granville explained we were checking in. So they opened gates and we pulled in. Check in desk was a 20 feet from the car
Looks just like the photos on website. To my right I can see the bar area, hear the band playing and see 20 people are so spread out over 100 feet to the bar. I know it’s a small private hotel that has a webcast party every Saturday that gets a mix of local and tourists for the show and buffet. Good way to get a feel for things.

We did not arrive until about 815 pm and show had already started. Not big crowd but given the circumstances it was important for the show to go on.

At this point does not matter what room I wanted or planned for. Better that the girls are happy with the rooms.
Wifes went to look at rooms. We stayed at front desk and talked to owner of Seastar Inn (Chris). I mentioned we were aware of the situation and just wanted to be respectful and stay out of their way. Friendly and laid back. Now the girls want us to come look. Fine. Left bags at front desk. I wanted rooms 15 and 16 ($59 each) but they made a better choice.

Room 10 we each had nice bedroom but there was big room, kitchen and bar area we could all hang out together in. Only had 1 bathroom and it was separate from bedrooms. I don’t even like sharing a bathroom with my wife but it’s not like we got a formal something to get ready for. Not like we had to spend much time getting ready so only 1 bathroom was no big deal at all. Seastar Inn (room 10) $119. Paid the same as we would have for the two single rooms. Way better because instead of hanging out in bedroom now we have big open area with plenty of room for everybody.

Check in just paid $119 cash and put everything else on our tab and we will pay when we check out. No hammock on patio of our room. Girls say it was a little bit of sticking point no hammock on patio. Seem like an issue except there were hammocks all over the property to lie in. So in reality did not matter in the least. We put our stuff in the room. We hung out in the room for half hour. Room was fine. Clean. It was built like an apartment. Felt comfortable. Big walk in closets. Like 10 feet by 10 feet. Way more in fact than I need. My suitcase is going to sit on the floor of the closet. No need to unpack just pull out bathroom bag. Big open living room and kitchen. Full size refrigerator. Stove top. Like an apartment. We are not going to do any cooking but we wanted frig to put cold drinks etc in. I like the big open rooms and kitchen and the nice terrace. Solid concrete walls and floor and ceiling. Not luxury but clean and comfortable. Sofas and chairs. It’s like a 2 bedroom apartment. Built for someone to live here. Me likey.

Past our room is a set of stairs that led up to what I don’t know but there was only like a board laying on ground to step over to go up. As we walked in with suit cases I asked the lady that showed us the room what that led to. She said it went to the rooftop and we could go up there and do anything we wanted. I thanked her. Went inside. What does that mean “anything we want I thought to myself?” Maybe this was some kind of “nudie” place? OMG I will never hear the end of it from my wife and friends if I booked us into some kind of nudist hotel or something. I read a lot about Seastar Inn and no mention of that. Nah she must have meant we could go up there and hang out or whatever. I got to get a smoke, can investigate the dark stairs with no railing later.

Now here is where the story may take a strange turn for some. Don’t worry about it. I am not a role model. Just breeze over.
I am going to be blunt.
We both brought cigars from home.
Same kind.
Same size.
Dutch Master Vanilla cigarillos.
In fact we got at least 70 between us.
Apparently the tobacco in our small cigars had gone “bad” yet the double wraps of tobacco leaves on each were in excellent condition. Therefore it was necessary to unroll our cigars take out the “bad” tobacco and replace it with whatever local tobacco we could acquire.

Fortunately as with all my travels in Jamaica people always want to give me some of the local tobacco. So we just rerolled with the local tobacco and put back in cigar box. (Let me get this straight. You brought ur own professional cigar roller to Jamaica from another island country known for cigar rolling? That’s how we do it in the ATL bro! Besides my friend is more like world class nonprofessional cigar roller. When I asked him where he learned his amazing skills he said he went to college in the USA). Tested one and seemed to work just fine. Took away my lingering dizziness and anxiety in a flash.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 18 (cont) – Seastar Inn
September 4th, 2010 – Saturday – Day 1 (AKA D-Day)
10 minutes later we have our groove on and have return to bar area and watch show and webcast. Hit the buffet. Very good. I read on the board where people say they were so hungry and ate 2 whole pieces of fish (pan fried red snapper). Please I got about 4 pieces of Red Snapper filets for starters.

Side note:
If you are somewhere eating and some type of condiments are provided say some kind of sauce best you put some on the side. You are going to love or hate it.

That sauce that goes on the pan fried red snapper at the Seastar Inn at the Saturday night buffet is bad ass. Don’t even bother putting it on the side just slather it all over that pan fried red snapper. Red Snapper has been my favorite fish for long as I can remember. Don’t make a pig (relatively) of myself but definitely eat and enjoy. Nice to be able to walk back to room. We hang out enjoying the show and the people. Mostly just chilling out enjoying ourselves pretty low key.

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I had not been relaxing but 10 minutes and somebody comes over says I am supposed to pay him for a CD.
Who?
What?
What chu talking about Willis?
He explains that nice lady wanted the CD and sent him over to me to pay for it.
What “lady” you talking about? I say.
He points her out.
Dude she is playing a joke on you I don’t even know that girl.
3 minutes later he is back. She said she was ur wife.
Damn you bring someone on vacation and they go around telling people they are my “wife”. Ok I guess I am buying that girl a CD. Pay for CD. (Actually was one of singers who turns out to be a good guy). Got to walk over and talk to the wife.

What’s wrong with you sending someone over to me to pay for a CD? If you want something why can’t you deal with it? I am on vacation trying to relax.

YOU SAID ON THE PLANE IF I WANT SOMETHING TO SEND THEM OVER TO YOU TO PAY!
(Damn I forgot I told her that. I am going to have to do a better job of hiding from people)

Walk around sit in different areas. By pool you can hear fine. Lots of places you can just go and sit and chill. Just people doing the same thing as us. Just hanging out watching show. Chillin.


The show is continuous for 4 hours so there is always something going on. Very casual. Several different lead singers come on. Fun. Laid back and relaxing.

Show ends and we are still feeling awake and excited to be on vacation. Its about 1130pm. We ride down to LTU Pub on Seastar Inn van but they were closing the gates. Ok I say let’s go to Canoe. Drive 5 minutes down road and Canoe. Closed. Big Saturday night on the cliffs. Everything closed. We decide to go back to Seastar Inn. Guys that worked at Seastar Inn were waiting for driver to come back and we got him driving all over.

Sat in hammocks by the pool. They got some kind of magnets in them. Once you lay in them you don’t want to get back up. Nah I will just sleep here tonight no problem. Can see how many cultures have a hammock as primary sleeping. Hard to believe I come from sleeping on the ground people. Surely somebody would be smart enough to invent the hammock in Europe na true?

It’s after midnight and bar is closed . I am starting to have that just got out of hot tub feeling. Totally exhausted but relaxed. Now my friend wants to know if we can walk to store to get drinks. He says he wakes up in middle of night and needs something to drink. Damn I am tired don’t want to walk this late in dark unfamiliar area to get soft drinks at a store they may or may not be open.

Fortunately Mr. Seastar Inn (Chris) told him to get whatever he wanted from the bar refrigerator even though the bar had been closed for a while. We both grab a couple of drinks. Nice. I stayed last year (2009) at the RIU Tropical Bay for a whole week. Not one time in that stay did I meet Mr. or Mrs. RIU. I am sure they were busy doing whatever it is they do. From minute 1 at the Seastar Inn. I met Mr. Seastar Inn. So if I had ANY kind of question or problem about ANY thing I could go straight to the top. Given all options it is kind of nice knowing the owners.

Went back to room and hung out for short while before getting too tired and going to bed about 1am. Don’t know if I just lose consciousness or because of a clean conscious I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 19 – Am at Seastar Inn

September 5th, 2010 – Sunday – (Day 2)
Get up a little before 7am. AC on full blast. Slept good under covers.
Feeling Great.
Coffee suppose to be ready at 7am. (I asked)
I was waiting on it.
Already warm. I got on flip flops, shorts and t-shirt. It feels nice. Not hot.
Pretty good coffee. Brown sugar and crème.
Walk around pool.
Don’t want to get too far from the coffee machine
I am only one around.

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Sit by pool.
Thanks and Praise
Drink more coffee.
Last night there were people all around now nobody but me.
Few people behind walls working I can hear.
6 full days of vacation in front of us (and travel home day).
I knew right off the bat I liked it at Seastar Inn.
Don’t really know how everybody else feels.
(My cigar roller is going to have to get up before too long or else I am going to have a little problem)
By 9am my group is up and semi-awake.

I am normally not a big breakfast eater. They have standard stuff included on the breakfast. Breads, cereals, etc. fine for me normally but since I have been awake for 2 or 3 hours I am ready to eat a full breakfast.

As per the next four days I will order the Jamaican Special for breakfast wherever I am. This means ackee and salt fish and callaloo and Johnny cakes. Additionally we got big fruit platter. So we got 2 Jamaican specials and 2 fruit platters for breakfast and shared among 4 people. My friends thought the eggs were good but tasted a little “different”. “Um those are not eggs that is ackee it grows on trees. Got a laugh on that one when I told the waiter about the “eggs”.

Big Fruit platters. Everything was very good. Some fruits I knew and some I did not. I got the names but immediately forgot. Seastar staff told us the Jamaica special breakfast takes a little while to make probably about 30 minutes. No problem and I like the fact that they even told me that it takes longer. I can eat whatever I want off the breakfast bar cereals, juice, breads etc. We walk around. Take photos. Not many people around. I feel comfortable not like you got to be on ur good behavior all the time. Well worth the wait. Brought out fruit platter first so we have plenty to eat and very casual.
Thanks and praise

We got to make a decision on where to stay this morning. If we stay here, not a problem. If not we got to pack and find a new place after breakfast. Group says here is cool. Nice. So I paid $119 first night and my friend will pay $119 for second night and we will just split the bill (buffet/show, meals, drinks, etc.). So room worked out to be $59.50 per couple per night. So far so good.

We got to the Seastar Inn after dark last night so did not really get a good look at the property. There are plants, trees and flowers everywhere. Very well taken care of and it made the property attractive. My friend is knowledgeable about tropical plants and fruits. We are picking fruit off trees and eating it. Forgot what it was but good. I am not opposed to eating fruit off the ground if I know what it is and that it’s ripe and good to eat. Cannot even remember name of fruits but if my friend says safe to eat then I am going to try it.

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Shower and change
Thanks and Praise

Island Steps
I walk out of our room and go down one flight of stairs and it’s a little off level. So now I got to stop my vacation and wait for my wife to come by because sure enough she is going to have coffee in 1 hand and telephone in the other and talking and probably going to go tumbling down the stairs. Ruin vacation. Friends wife comes out first and I am about to start to try to explain that the stairs are uneven and to be careful and to tell my wife to be careful so I can continue with my vacation.

Before I can get it all out she waves her arm and says “Island Steps” I got it. She having lived most of her life on an island knew exactly what I meant. Yes! Exactly! That’s it Island Steps. We all have to stop and explain to my wife the Island Step thing. WHAT? Ok. She says she gets it. Rest of Vacation (lol. rest of my life) anytime steps are uneven, crooked and/or dangerous you just call out “Island Steps” and everybody following you should understand to be careful on the steps.

Does not happen a lot in Jamaica say maybe 20 times a day or so I have to call this out. Jamaicans take this for granted and watch where they walk. This alone (shouting out “Island Steps”) will probably save me an hour of waiting time on this week trip. Vacation extended by 1 hour. Thanks and Praise.

I got slow moving group. Basically takes a little prodding not to miss the 11am shuttle to beach. Seastar Inn has a van and driver. Knew we wanted to go to beach. Did not exactly know where we wanted to go. Not worried because I could take my notes with me and decide on the 10 minute drive where best to go. Climbed in van back seat with friends. Driver drove normal Jamaican way. Fast. This meant buildings were zipping by so fast could not do much but hang on. Not dangerous at all but not a leisurely cruise either. Don’t want to imply it was unsafe.. Just compared to Granville driving a lot faster. No chance to check my notes. Better to hang on. Buildings on cliff road were whipping past by like a NASCAR race. One other couple besides us 4 on the shuttle. They were friends of the owners of Seastar Inn and had been here plenty of times. They decided to go to Bourbon Beach. I know this is going to be one of my hit or miss places. This is going to be more “Real” Jamaica instead of going further up beach. Figured no problem for me but don’t really know how rest of my group is going to like it. Mostly I am hoping the bathrooms are clean. Ok no problem we will check it out and if we don’t like we can go somewhere else. At least eat some of that famous Bourbon Beach jerk chicken.

Drove us right to front and told us to call him when we wanted pick up. Kool. I tipped the driver 1000J. By route taxi would have cost us 800J all most the same and it would have been way more walking and time.

So tipping the Seastar Inn Driver 1000J for 4 people to go door to door directly seems pretty good deal to me. I understand the shuttle is free. But I am on vacation. If it was just the 2 of us probably would have tipped 500J. About the same as a route taxi would cost but door to door service.

I love the "island steps"... thought it many times in the past but never had a name for it:) Now I will feel the need to say it out loud!

Love that little pathway at the Seastar Inn through the gardens and mango trees to your room .... place is so safe you don't even have to lock your doors. .... Chris is a Saint.