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Brudda, you make me smile... Great trip report. You're vibe is straight up! Will remember to take my iPhone charger. Was sorta thinking "well, no service", hadn't really thought about it as my portable personal trip documentation assistant. Oh, yeah, and flashlight! :)
Dude that is a great video and trip report. Inspiration for our trip that begins on Monday!
Brasi January 2012 Trip Report #15
My Brush with Obeah and the Occult
Obeah (sometimes spelled Obi, Obea or Obia) is a term used in the West Indies to refer to folk magic, sorcery, and religious practices derived from West African, and specifically Igbo origin.[1] Obeah is similar to other African derived religions including Palo, Voodoo, SanterĂ*a, rootwork, and most of all hoodoo. Obeah is practiced in Suriname, Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, Dominica, Guyana, Barbados, Grenada, Belize and other Caribbean countries.[2]
I’ve been waiting a while to decide whether or not to post this. I don’t want to be thought of as crazy. I don’t want to be thought of as disrespectful to either Jamaica or my ex-fiancee…who passed away last June 21.
But awhile back on this board I saw a post about Obeah…or, in loose terms, Jamaica's (and other West Indies islands) version of voodoo. It got me thinking and I arrived in Jamaica prepared to execute a plan if I got the nuts up to do it. Turns out, I was nuts enough.
It is up to you whether or not to believe this account, or trust in my perception of what happened on the night of January 6, 2012. But this is my honest version of events that may or may not have been wise of me to invite onto myself.
...........................
I’d been drinking heavily in anticipation of what I was going to do. A few Q’s, Red Stripes, lots of smoking. I got back to the room, checking the time…deciding if I was actually going to implement my plan…and sat at the computer and began looking back at pictures of me and “Sarah.” I went to my suitcase and made sure I still had the item I had brought with me…and decided I was going to go through with the plan I’d set up yesterday. I love her so much. I wanted to say goodbye properly.
It was 2:30 am. I left the room quietly, carrying the item. I tiptoed so as not to wake my neighbors. I had the gate opened, and walked down Seastar Lane in the dark. The West End was quiet, quiet…as the darkest hour approached…3 a.m.
Twenty minutes later, I found the woman where she said she’d be. She was wearing a red dress and her little chair was on the dirt floor…right in front of the mirror…right where she’d been sitting the day before, when on a whim I asked about Obeah and where I might find someone to help me speak with a person I had lost and loved so much.
Her eyes were smoky. She said…”you came to the right spot.”
Now, I was back, at the time she’d suggested would be best.
“Ah, you come,” she said, a whisp of a smile crossing her face. “Give me the dress.”
She took it from me and looked into the mirror. Her eyes immediately focused, and seemed to gaze upon a face…hard to explain…but she seemed to be seeing someone…nodding like “yes..” “I see, yes..” “mmmm…”
“Ah, yes…yes,” she said, now looking into the mirror, a smile of sorts now crossing her face that seemed…frankly…evil. She looked down. Nodded at the mirror. Then over at me, and back to the mirror.
“She is here and saying you argued,” she said matter-of-factly. “Right before it happened, you argued.”
I broke into tears. I had not told this woman any details...except that I had lost my girlfriend.
“Stop, I can’t do this,” I said. Tears were running down my face.
“I’m sorry. I can’t handle this, please…” I started backing out of the hut/building.
Because she was right. We’d had a petty argument a few minutes before I’d found her and just prior to the 911 nitemare. The nitemare that causes me to break into cold sweats. Seeing her face and not being able to do anything for the person that I’d waited for all my life. The nitemare I would do anything to change…anything at all…anything.
We’d made up, and comfortingly the last words I’d said to “Sarah” were “I love you.” But this was more powerful and ill-advised than I’d ever thought it could be. I was scared out of my mind. Then:
“She loved you…” she said, looking into the mirror. “No I do not want your man, lady,” said the woman, sternly looking in the mirror, convincing me she was indeed talking to someone…because she raised her voice, as if yelling back at someone.
“Stop, please,” I said…and I just ran. I ran in between the shacks and through a small path...then up the West End Road as fast as I could, crying, leaving an old dress of Sarah’s behind with a woman I did not know…never to return…and losing any grip on sanity I had that evening…instantly sober…with no one in the world to call or contact at this hour.
When I got back to my room I cried for what might have been hours. Sleep never came and I was glad to see the sun, because then I could get out of my room and see someone without smokey eyes and who’d offer some level of comfort from the storm I’d brought into my world the nite before.
...I told only two people in Jamaica about this while I was still on the island…and now it’s off my chest….
Whoa! I'm not sure I would have pursued something like that, but I understand why you did, and can see why it scared the hell out of you. Pretty heavy stuff there.
Ohhhhh Brasi..... My heart is in my throat.........
It was chilling.
I don't know what to say......I'm so sorry for your pain! My sincere best wishes to get through this and move on your journey. My thoughts go out to you. Many blessings to you in your future, Brasi!
Scary scene..
WOW! Good on you Brasi for dealing with your situation. You will find peace soon enough. Our loses in the end help us appreciate life that much more.....
ok you just blew my mind, brother! That is so intense and the way you described it was so evocative. I know about obeah and have had some brushes with it in Jamaica, but never would have seeked it out intentionally--it was more like I stumbled on it. Blessings to you and your lost love--and and prayers for you to be at peace with what happened.
Awesome trip report man!
great report and really enjoyed the pics......
thanks for sharing!
Cool Runnings, Marko
Brasi Trip Report January 2012 #17?
Parting iPhone Shots...the Best of the Rest
Here are some other cool shots of my trip...I'll be wrapping up my trip report soon. Thanks, all, for reading, and for those of you with a trip planned..ENJOY! Soon come.
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Brasi Trip Report January 2012
The End
Well all the planning, anticipation and DOING is over. It’s time to look back on the trip, and see what I learned…first, a few obvious Top 5 lists:
Memorable Times
1. Chilling in Belmond and remembering “Sarah”...and Obeah. F that. Done with that stuff.
2. Getting back to Negril and seeing familiar faces (as weird as it sounds)
3. Relaxing at Country Country and later, meeting T
4. Scooter Day (last day)
5. Jam Can, Night 3
Craziest Sights:
1. The mighty Californian, a warhorse and a cab. ‘Nuff said.
2. Mighty Californian throwing many $1000J bills onto the bar at the Jungle to the delight of perhaps 20 hookers, watchers, and passersby
3. Mighty Californian...add girls, rinse and repeat.
4. Rambo’s eyes at Seastar when I crashed my scooter (no damage).
5. A man recruited to be best man OFF OF Seastar Lane 10 minutes before a wedding LOL
Best Meals:
This list is so difficult. Not one meal I had was bad. But I just named the five most memorable without thinking about it too much.
1. Stewed Fish, Shades Cottages, Beldmond ($600 J)
2. Chicken Fingers (w. Francine’s amazing jerk sauce), Seastar Inn, West End
3. Curried Shrimp, Sunset on the Cliffs, West End
4. Saturday Night Buffet, Seastar Inn, Westend
5. (tie) Crab Cakes/Curry Goat Bentley’s Crab House, West End (amazing)
5. (tie) Ox Tail at Sips n Bites, West End
I learned that I have a Jamaican soul deep within me somewhere. I say with all due respect that I feel like the island is in my DNA. I used to believe that this was because I could party and be carefree there. But that’s only part of it. Maybe a private Facebook message I sent to a FB friend that I made here on Negril.com can sum it up best:
#
XXXX,
I am so depressed being back. I know I am a white middle class guy from NY. But I feel so at home in Jamaica. People think I am crazy for going alone, for going to Red Ground, Belmont etc. I think they are crazy for staying inside the 'safe' walls of a resort. I can tell you without a doubt that my heart is much happier when I am in Jamaica vs anywhere else.
I guess I love Jamaica because I don't feel judged. I don't feel chubby. I don't feel like I need to explain myself or pretend that I like something I do not. I dress as I wish. I can stop in almost any new place and make a friend. So much here in NY is based on how I look, what I do, my past, my status as a guy in a band...etc.
After nine trips I know the pitfalls, too. I know that "friends" in Jamaica almost always means a beneficial relationship of some kind...but I also know there are true friendships to be found.
I am trying to plan another trip in XXXXX, to stay sane…on this trip I realized that visiting is never going to be enough. Someday I will be at least a part-time Jamaican resident. My BEST times this trip were away from the tourist stuff…
It's a pleasure talking to you! Thanks for the chance to vent. LOL
#
This trip, I realized that my best friends…truth be told…are ones I’ve made through the love of Jamaica…through this common thread, a knowledge and awareness of the depth that such a magical place can create in all of us...uniting people from all over the world. Lots of that is thanks to Negril.com…and the community we’re lucky to have here.
So, my friends…that’s a wrap. Thanks for reading!
It’s time to start planning my NEXT reach.
Brasi
WOW Braz-eye.....you wet up my eyes (not hard to do lol). What a touching truthful recap. I feel ya.
great stuff Brasi .... I can relate to a lot of what you say .... Also, had a GREAT time hangin' with you my friend .... And don't be fooled everyone: Brazz is the one who brings out the CRAZINESS in ME, ha ha .... All the best my friend ...
Excellent, Brasi! Loved your trip report! TOTALLY get your description about Jamaica being part of your soul. I feel that way too. I think going there to heal (twice) maybe had a profound impact on the way I feel, but no doubt it's also because of the wonderful people, vibe, music, food, and that beautiful blue water. Hope it was a healing experience for you and you were able to more come to terms with Sarah's passing. Blessings!
Basi....you have one more thing to pull off.......your not done yet darling..:D .... But ill be still..and let you work your magic........:cool:
Brassi, thanks so much for sharing all your fun and festivities with us. I really enjoyed every bit of your report.
Can't wait for you to get back there! I will dip my toes in the sea for you in March
Cheers Brasi!
I was counting on meeting you.
Hopefully you'll see (in my trip report) how we may have missed each other.
Until that time. . .
From start to finish your report has been a delight to read. Thanks for sharing your adventures, I can certainly relate to much of what you said.
My first trip to Negril was a "healing" trip and I continue the healing twice a year. Loved your report and I'm sorry to see it end.
Like the guy from California says, "Ya Mon!"
absolutely loved your trip report...best wishes
I get what your saying about Jamaica, you meet people so easy in Negril, and when you come back home everyone is so stiff, I think thats why so many of us return to get a warm fix and be open and free to be me. Great Report hate to see it end Good One!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wonderful, Brasi, wonderful.....
I just recently returned to Negril.com in anticipation for our soon come visit..... I should just cancel my cable TV since the only thing I've tuned into as of late is this forum.....
Eagerly awaiting the filling of my soul in Negril.....
It's been really cool to take a shot at "reporting" back to you guys. I could keep posting stories from the trip, but I feel like the never-ending trip report approach can dilute the good stuff...
Don't get me wrong, I like jerk chicken and Three Dives, and I love going to the Jungle...but others have covered those experiences...
I hope you all have great reaches! I hope you all get a chance to be as affected by Jamaica as I am.
The more I go...the more I want to go.
Brasi
Right on Brasi!
I got the bug about 30 years ago - and I'm still smitten.
I've found Negril to be a beguiling Mistress, treat her right and you'll reap the rewards -
abuse her - and she'll bite you in the ass.
Brasi, I don't believe there are coincidences. Whatever was going on that night with you, Sarah and the O-lady, there is still information for you to harvest. The lady is not important, except for showing you that YOU and Sarah can connect by non-physical means too. (If you want,) think about the question(s) or intentions that were on your mind that day. If you didn't get answers, did you at least get more clear on the questions that are at the core of the matter, the questions that relate to your life?
I would bet that there were 'coincidences' to your meeting Sarah originally, and that you filled/fulfilled some important things for each other in your time together...if you look outward on your life from now, take a really long view perhaps, at the ideas that are coming in to your life as a result of your experiences with Sarah, and more exposure to the earthy and spiritual vibes in Jamaica... How are you better equipped to live your life? I mean, everything builds like this, not just romantic relationships. What was Sarah's purpose in showing up in your life? Can you imagine ways that you helped her fulfill her purpose? An argument is an intersection - pausing to remember the planned route as well as alternate possibilities, directions are chosen - some things ARE going to change, maybe one or both of you needed a shake-up, etc. (there are lessons for both of you in what transpired). There are no coincidences; just meditate on finding a purpose for everything and you will understand more and more. Don't feel no way about that last argument, except to study and appreciate it as part of a much bigger picture of your life.
♥☺♥☺ Lola
The first night I ever spoke with Sarah was for about 5 seconds, online. A week later, after I'd essentially forgotten talking to her, she contacted me again through an IM on a social networking site.
Immediately, when I saw her picture, I was aware she was a lot younger than me...ended up to be by 18 years...and gorgeous. But I decided I could be "just friends" with her and there was a LOT to talk about. Football. Divorce, and the our common belief that the DNA lottery is a double-edge sword. She hated being so gorgeous because she said no one gave a sh*t about what she EVER said. She started falling for me because I "had never mentioned that she was pretty." Most guys she said just wanted to get in her pants.
Believe me, I noticed she was pretty. But I too have an issue with the blessed ones who take advantage of good looks to get away with being mediocre at other things. A rock writer once said about my band---"Flakjacket isn't good looking enough to make it. But if they were as good looking as their songs sound they'd be famous..." True. But it sucks.
A month after we started talking, we went to see Marc Cohn at a really intimate theater near me. Unplanned romantic kind of thing...that night, we started being honest about wanting to be together despite what anyone would think about our age difference (39-22). A week later...she showed up at my band's show unannounced, and on the ride home asked if I wanted a girlfriend...and if so, could she be it? It was cute and defines her personality.
As beautiful as she was, she loved ME, a somewhat overweight, not-cute old dude...and she didn't give a flying crap about the band or any of the dumb stuff (bands, good job nice home, etc). Usually the fact that I am really nice guy is meaningless when you are honest with the way a lot of women pick guys. To Sarah the nice guy part was the most important thing about me, the guts of me.
My marriage---which had ended three years previous to us meeting---was probably the worst emotional/physical relationship possible...so Sarah was a breath of fresh air. Just...felt RIGHT. Holding hands was amazing. I could be just me, and she loved that.
What she taught me was that love can come out of the weirdest places. She taught me that things are not always as they appear. She taught me that love is unconditional. She had a myriad of health issues, deep ones, a disorder that she just could not overcome. She was a fighter. But she lost...and so did I.
My biggest wish is that somehow someway I could have done more. For 18 months that I knew her...I was a caretaker, financial backer, taxi service, bank account, lover, best friend. It was HARD. But I would take it all back in a second, and do it all again. Because she loved me and I felt that almost every minute we were together...I was deeply in love and still am. We were going to shock the world and move in together in August...she passed away in June. WE were going to Jamaica in January, and we might have done something crazy and gotten married. But we knew that's where we'd eventually do it, someday.
Our last argument was about her not wanting to go anywhere that morning. She was tired. I had obligations. Without getting into it, I realize now that she was already "in trouble" right before I went outside...it was coming...I came back in 20 minutes later and found her..................................if I had just stayed inside...and been able to call 911 sooner...................
I know I fulfilled one thing for her. I loved her. I never pushed her away like so many others had. I always forgave her. I always pulled her closer when she felt she had made a mistake. When she was feeling low I told her I loved her and we'd do it together. When she slipped up, I'd put her to bed and make sure she was ok....it made for many sleepless nights.
I don't know if the Obeah woman was legitimate. I don't KNOW anything; I am surprised I pursued that because I am typically agnostic and sit on the fence...spiritual...but certainly not extremely religious...a believer that science is at least CLOSER to the truth.
I am left alone...and sometimes...I wish I'd never met Sarah if only because now that I've had a true love I realize how nearly impossible it is to find. Sometimes...and this is when I get saddest...I can't remember what her voice sounded like. All the pictures I have are never enough...I miss her like crazy...it's getting better...but...it still is a deep deep pain.
Thanks for your words. I am very sorry if this kind of thing turns people off, and I realize it has little to do with Negril. But it helps...so, everyone that has said kind things to me, or PM'd me...I mean it when I say I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
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I can relate my wife 10 years younger died suddenly from a brain aneurism Sept. 2010 it really hasn't gotten much better. This song by Spragga Benz, Stay the Same, really
expresses how I feel.
"...now that I've had a true love I realize how nearly impossible it is to find."
Wrong-o sweetie, turn those binoculars around ~ now that you've had true love you know it is POSSIBLE and you have already proven your ability to find it! Was she one in a million? Then there are at least 81,000,000 more possible loves for you in the world, 300-400 right in the USA, at least 3 in Jamaica...
There's a commercial or billboard I've seen recently, don't recall if it is in the US or JA, but it portrays 'Impossible' = Im Possible
O-lady probably just made a lucky guess on the argument, it comes up a lot in relationships. But YOU are the one finding your way through all of this, you are the one seeking peace. Its your journey and she played the part you wanted her for.
I think its all very cool, enjoy the ride!
Brasi,
I was talking about you one day at Seastar.
GerryG had been there so I'm guessing the subject of boardies came up.
I mentioned Brasi to one of the bartenders and he said you're real name was Alex.
I think you have a lot of friends here.
If you need to express these things, express them.
People who care are ready to listen.
We can't fix anything but we can listen . . . sometimes that helps.
As Little Feat once said:
". . . fool that I am I'd do it all over again."
Lola and Rum - you guys hit the nail on the head - so eloquently, so honestly and so lovingly...Brasi - take their words to heart - YOU'RE WORTH IT! You are a wonderful man and love will find you again, I know it! If I wasn't married, I would meet you in Negril -- and off the beaten path!!
Brasi - I'm so sorry for your loss
As someone that has been through a lot of loss of my own over the past three years. 3 major deaths, including the loss of my brother. I can say that it shakes you to your core and makes you re-examine your entire life.
You're not the same person afterwards
The changes that occur after tragedies can be positive ones, if you allow them to be.
You don't take a single day or a single person in your life for granted.
Those things that you said "i'm going to do that someday" suddenly becomes today.
Kind of like Jamaica was, for me, which is how I found this site in the first place.
As far as opening up about your loss
Alot of us can relate, understand, empathize
It also makes me feel less alone in my own struggles.
So thank you for sharing your story.
Keep on living life to the fullest and loving and creating and sharing.
Take it day by day. It will get easier in time.
Hope we see you in Negril in April.
And I love your Jamaica song, it's been stuck in my head for days!:)
The Jamaica song is GREAT brasi!
Thanks to each of you for the support. I'll stop being such a stick in the mud!
Party onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Thanks for liking the song Clarity/Gerry!
VAN: so sorry. I really am...it's so hard to be the same...
Some folks talk about the great time when I retire,,,,OHHH so great,when my body is breaking down at 70 years old.....Some live it for today....Some walk the walk.....I feel the vibe here from those who agree with that theory..When I see the fisherman catching the fish in Negril with a hand line,cooking eating and rinse repeat the next day.......That is the cycle of life......With some Red Stripes & weed in between....
Brasi,
we have talked and you know how I feel...im such a fan....and these people here are amazing friends..some of us have met and some have not , But I cannot wait to meet every single person here..all great messages..(lola! I just love you and your message , Im such a fan!) and clairity you are such a spirit of kindness and love and it shows in your writting..Brasi you have soo many mothers , sisters, best friends on here your love is endless , and we will all be there to cry with you and laugh with you in celebration...Have a great day doll...pinching your cheek <3