Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 24 – Review of Seastar Inn
September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)

Location
West End cliffs about ¼ mile up Seastar Lane off main road.

Property Layout
Small private hotel. About 15 rooms total spread out over about 4 or 5 buildings. Plenty of room to walk around or hang out with very few people around. Clean, functional, not luxury with flat screen TV’s, regular TV’s with cable. Rooms are all different. Have character and are unique verse giant hotel. Once on property it is a gated estate. Comfort level on grounds. Lots of privacy. Beautiful. Flowers everywhere. Not luxurious but well maintained and clean. Hammocks all over. Laid back.


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Rooms 12,14,15 and 16
Separate building. Farthest away from front desk. Least expense but very private with terraces. Old wooden vaulted ceilings. Has character. 4 couples (or 4 singles) could have whole building 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, 4 terraces plus giant terrace for dirt cheap. Great for couples or single people. Could sit out on terrace and watch the birds and nature and feel as if you are all alone. Not the best for people who have problems on stairs.

Room 10
We stayed here for 2 nights. If you are looking for US style luxury this is not it. This is functional comfort. Practical. great for families or 2 couples. My mother would have loved this place. Full kitchen. Big rooms. Big closets. Tile floor easy to keep clean. Could stay here and cook meals Built for someone to live there. Forgot to take inside photos. Plenty of room. Perfect for longer stay. Until another level is added on top it has a huge flat rooftop that gives great views of surrounding neighborhood. Sunset I might want to be on the water but sunrise on top of room 10 at the Seastar Inn is pretty cool. I loved the flat rooftop.

I checked out other rooms at Seastar Inn. Some have 2 beds. Clearly shows on their website rooms and beds etc. Looks exactly like that. You can sit out on any patio or terrace and feel private. Truthfully I could stay in any room at Seastar inn. Perfect room for you would be based on you.


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Living room of room 10

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Terrace

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Solid wall in between patios makes private

Beds/Sheets
Over the last 15 years the thread count is the all-important on sheets. Seastar Inn sheets are dried outside makes them soft and smell good. High thread count sheets have no smell. I don’t care what the thread count is on the sheets at the Seastar Inn. Put me down in favor of clean, soft and good smelling sheets.

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Old school
I tried this at home. Yes my wife thinks I am crazy. It did not work. Sheets dried hard and wrinkly. Must be some trick to it.



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Hammock = Resting = Sleeping = Passing Out

Webcast
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Saturday Night Party
Every Saturday night they have a party that includes food and entertainment. Not a 1 hour concert but a 4 hour live show. If you play any instrument or sing and you desire to take the stage. Your wish will be granted. If you go to big name live concerts this is not going to be in that league. Unless Luciano shows up. Then forget that part about not being big time. Relaxing. You can meet people in a low key atmosphere or you can hang out by yourself. No problems. Any questions about anything can be answered at the Seastar Inn Saturday party. If this is not your thing for any reason not a big deal. The rooms are further away from the pool and stage.

Security
You are not going to have no problems. Security has got figured out who is who. Big corporate hotels have tons of employees. Lots of turnover and problems. Small private hotels have few employees. After first day did not even bother locking door to room.

Pool
By US hotel standards pool is just ok. Not a giant lap pool with the latest gadgets and water slides. Very difficult and expensive to build pools in Jamaica. Based on my experiences in Negril it’s a great pool. I am not going to be swimming laps. It’s a hang out pool that has both sun and shade. Kids can have fun as well as adults. Floats. Splash around. Etc. Just so happens the bar connects to one side of the pool.

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In fact you could swim over and order and receive a drink while still in the pool if that kind of thing interests you. The pool feels refreshing and I don’t feel cold whenever I get out. Like that. If you feel like jumping in the swimming pool anytime day or night have at it.

Smoking
Very sticky subject in US. On private property in Jamaica I would guess who ever is boss will let you know what is cool or not. Common sense does apply only rude people would smoke around children. Since everything is open air and few people around not really a problem. At Seastar Inn basically can smoke wherever/whatever you want.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 24 (cont) – Review of Seastar Inn
September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)

Drinks
I found the drinks to be well made. Usually pay way more for way less. Happy hour 4 to 6pm. 2 for 1 drinks. Just so happens this is an ideal time for me to want a drink or 2 or 4. I am not normally a frozen drink person but I am on vacation in the tropics. Now is the time for frozen drinks. Don’t really know what’s in a purple reign (rain?). Pretty good. Dirty bananas. Lots of good drinks. Lots more research for the future.

We introduced ourselves the first time we went to bar and I guess they remember us (and you). We never have to pay. Usually tip when we leave bar to bartender or server. Someone new they ask our room number the first time and they write it out long hand. Room 10. 1 Red Stripe. Probably 1 page per work shift or whatever. Point being I love not having to pay all the time and they are not going to have a computer glitch and mess up my bill. If you are just going to pound down red stripes or dirty bananas then of course it is going to be cheaper to buy at store and put in refrigerator. But you already knew that. We are on vacation and want to have other people make us drinks we never had before. If I was a “drinker” I would supplement with a case of beer or whatever in the refrigerator. Rest of trip we are going to be staying on the “water” and paying higher prices. After trip I figure when you factor in happy hour 2 for 1’s, size, quality Seastar Inn mixed drinks cost me about 40% less overall. Not a big deal unless you are drinking alcohol on vacation and have a budget.

Food
Off the menu only had 2 breakfasts. Food quality and quantity was excellent. I ate buffet on Saturday night so I know the food is excellent. Need to eat more meals at Seastar Inn when I go back. I figure due to the size and quality of the food I will order less food and so every time I eat at Seastar I am saving money and making my stomach happy. Talk about win win. This use to be one of the things that kept Jamaica from being perfect for me. Finding quality reliably food at the hotel with low prices is convenient.

Overall Cost
Considerably below normal vacation prices for me. Especially in a tourist town. Other places may get you in with a low internet or package price and then nickel and dime you to death. If I got to pay for coffee and refills then it’s going to affect my budget. Free Wi-Fi. No nickel and diming at the Seastar Inn. In fact it’s the opposite. Don’t really know what the opposite of nickel and dime. We forgot to tell you about the tax on this and surcharge on the Johnson Rod. No surprises. No extra charges at Seastar Inn. Includes tax everything. If you are on a tight budget these are the things that can make a huge difference.

Seastar Inn Employees
Staff was great and made us feel welcome. Attentive without being overbearing. It’s the owners that make this place. Mrs. Seastar (Francine) took my wife to some family events. Mr. Seastar (Chris) despite having a lot going on was extra nice to me and our guests for no apparent reason. (Turns out they treat most everybody that way).

Wow the Seastar Inn sounds perfect!
Life is not perfect.
The Seastar Inn is not on water. For some this is a deal killer.
If it was on the water it would cost 5 times as much and always be booked up.

I felt a comfort level that I don’t normally feel at a hotel.
No doubt for me that I have a home place in Negril at Seastar Inn.
So you stay at a place 2 nights and its ur home place?
Explain? Can’t really.

I had very high standards for the Seastar Inn. Exceeded all expectations. Later when looking at total costs of vacation I spent less money on drinks, food and lodging at Seastar Inn. By staying here it allows me to stay at some other places that are above my budget. Low cost with very high value. What part is confusing to you?

Anybody who has been to Jamaica over the years has had to endure certain things different as part of the tradeoff. So many things such as adequate hot water, backup generator when power goes off, etc. etc. If you have experience these things over the years then you will have a far greater appreciation for the Seastar Inn than just meets the eye.

I did not just wander upon the Seastar Inn.
I was directed.
I read hundreds of trip reports and comments over the last few years.
Directed by people (Negril.com) who go to Negril regularly and have stayed in many places. For many people this is their home place. Now it’s my home place. (Assuming they are not booked up!)

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 25 – BarBBarn Beach Hotel

September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)
Jump in car with Granville and my 3 guests. Now my plan is take them to the BarBBarn. We know all about the beach because we were next door at Bourbon Beach yesterday. Show is tonight at Bourbon Beach. So if they say yes to room and price then it will be perfect. Actual perfect should not be the goal. Damn they are not going to go for it.
We park.
Go in office.
Tell them we would like to tour their property and maybe stay the night. Front desk person was nice and patience with us. Walk us to the front of property. Looked good to me. Bar and Restaurant area small but nice. Which is how I like it. Beach in front. Stunning water, sand and view. Not too big of a beach area. Since it looked like not to many people around we would have the run of the place. Please let the rooms be ok.

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Showed us best room with best view on property. Ok looks cool to me. Clean. Sheets looked very fresh. Not fancy but I don’t care if it has a flat screen TV. Sheets must be line dried as well. Bath was fine. Basic. I am only going to be showering not soaking in a Jacuzzi tub. No Jacuzzi no problem for me at all.

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Show us room across building top front again. Which would be the room with the 2nd best view. Bit dated but clean. Nice view of ocean if you are standing directly in front of window that does not open. Looks good to me. Ok I explain to our negotiation team $65 internet special with breakfast.
They claim they got it under control and for us to chill out.
We go to bar and get drink and like 15 minutes they come back.
Damn what took you girls so long?
Tough negotiation apparently.
Best they could do was $60 total per room.
No problem I say. Beach front for 60 bucks a couple I am in. Everybody says yes. Cool.
Ok we got to pay, get keys and go back to Seastar Inn and pick up bags. It is early. No problem. We pay and get room keys and are all standing in parking lot. Girls say they will be back one second just want to look around.

So we waited and waited and waited on the girls.
30 minutes went by.
They did not come back.
Like kidnapped?
No like shopping and leaving us in the BarBBarn parking lot. I went to bar and beach and did not see them. Ok let’s hot foot it back to Seastar Inn to pick up luggage. Had to lug all the suitcases to car. With Granville’s help still took about 3 trips to room. Girls do not know how to pack worth a sh*t. Say goodbye again. First time when it was just the men in the car. Granville actually hit the gas. Which is exactly what we wanted without asking. He is smart like that. No telling what could happen if we leave the women alone too long.
From time we left until return less than 30 minutes. We are pulling back in the parking lot. Just now they are walking to parking lot to find us 1 hour after saying they are just going to look around for a second. Par for the course of course.

We are near enough to entrance of BarBBarn that people are shouting at us with all kinds of “special offers”. Just then 2 white guys came walking up and looking frazzled and frantic. They were tan at least been here couple days. I am fending off 4 or 5 people with no thanks and jokes, etc. So am naturally leery of these guys as well. One guy kind of blurted out something about the vendors were driving them crazy and they did not know what to do! I don’t know if they just did not know how to say no or what the deal was. I was a little tongue tied for once in my life. I just kind of joked not to worry about they will be ok. Got busy unloading car and shuttling all our stuff from parking lot to our new ocean front room. We get all the suitcases down to our rooms. 2 rooms on opposite sides. Theirs has a slightly better view ours is 2nd best room on property.

Got a chance rest of trip and following months thinking about those 2 guys who were really asking for my advice. In hindsight they were at the start of the public beach. Other than a craft market this has about the highest per capital of people trying to sell you something, hustle u, help u, etc. for probably 50 miles in any direction. I should have told him to get off the main tourist drag. Hope they figured it out.

I am telling you it was tough. Slow season. Slow period. I am not interested in getting something for nothing. Truth is/was I had EVERTHING I needed. Nothing they could offer that I was remotely interested in. Don’t need no weed. Don’t need no tour. Don’t need no bracelets. Easy for me to joke around about it. Don’t want to waste ur time don’t want to waste mine. Not interested. Respect.

Trying every trick in the book. Was not for the feign hearted. I had a group of 4 plus other people I knew so I could be semi bold. You have to be a strong person to handle this by ur self.

Frankly people were not in a great mood. Hardly any tourists. Nobody buying nothing. I feel you brother but if I start handing out money it is not going to change anything and we will be out of money quick.

If you are walking towards me and are going to ask for a “handout” trust me I am going to beat you to the punch.
“Hey we spent all our money can you tell me where the free food and free drinks are?” That always gets crazy looks and they usually just shake their head and walk off.

I am also good at asking somebody can I have a dollar before they can ask me for a dollar. They usually say they are broke. Me too. Laugh and keep going.

Just want my bathing suit on and my float which is still in a bag to be blown up.

Get all suitcases to room and they want to go to HiLo in town to get what I don’t know. You guys go. I head next door to BarBBarn. Have cold red stripe. Make sure show is still on tonight. Shabba is getting started putting up a giant blue tarp covered fence to keep free views of concert to a minimum.

Before long they are back and track me down at Bourbon Beach
Finish food (I was there so figured ¼ chicken could not hurt me) and then we head back to BarBBarn.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 26 – Red Dragon in Red Ground
September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)
It is Monday and the plan is to go to Red Dragon (Raggabones) in Red Ground for Lunch. Following my general plan of not wanting to hang out in direct sun during the hottest part of the day. Red Dragon home of super cold beer and the best jerk pork around. Guess I will find out for myself.

Ok I get everybody rounded up and on road by 12:15pm. I know 12:30pm is time the meat comes off so I am again a bit anxious trying to get everybody moving.

I got shotgun seat window down. Enjoying drive not too far maybe 10 minutes at most from BarBBarn. I am always amazed at how close some resident’s homes are to the road. You can practically reach in and shake hands with someone while they are home and you are in the car. Anyhow as we arrive in the suburb of Red Ground we are slowing down to make a right turn and someone says “white man” from a house as we drive by about 3 feet away.

It was in a low quiet voice.
It was like someone talking to you in normal voice except they were in a house and I was in a moving car. We were going too fast and I was not ready with a witty come back

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions (MissBlue) I have had a lifetime of practice. Next time I will be ready with my reply to “white man”.
Are you the village idiot?
Wow how observant of you?
Actually light brown is the correct color sir!
Anyhow I am ready if it happens again.

Granville knows where it is and we pull right across from it.
Rustic.

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Several drivers are waiting on side for meat to come out. We go in. It is a local bar. Lots of semi-nudie posters on the walls. Year Calendars sponsored by Rum and Red Stripe. Some years are pretty damn impressive. Was going to get some photos (for Smith744). Wifey might not have understood I was doing it in the name of research for the board. We order beers they come out frosty. Super cold. Nice.

After about 10 minutes I lean over and say to the bartender don’t let that jerk pork comes out without telling me. He said no worries. About 5 minutes later he brings me the first serving from today’s batch.

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I am not fooling around I had already told him I wanted a ½ lb (400J) and ½ lb for my friend. Wow pretty damn good. Ending up drinking about 3 beers each. Mouth burning. My friend ate one of the hot peppers and his whole face went bright red. I was not paying attention but looked over and several people were giving him Ice and brown sugar. Few minutes later things were under control. Does not appear to be the first time a tourist or local did that.

Review of Red Dragon (Raggabones) in Red Ground.
Medium sized local bar in the suburbs of Negril. Mix of locals and tourists and expats. Very Limited menu. On the plus size the beers are ice cold (frosty) and the jerk pork is the best I have ever had. Inexpensive for tourists. Nice change of pace.


We do a little touring around the Red Ground area and then loop back around to Negril. It is really pretty up there and I love the views of the ocean. Early tourists who had to stay way up in Red Ground with minimal accommodations. I know they had it rough but what a view.

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Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations]

Chapter 27 – Afternoon at BBB
September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)
Beach is the plan for the rest of the day.
Vendors are super aggressive. No big deal me because I am in the water but girls are on beach. They are not taking polite no for an answer.

Main alleyway that leads to basically start of beach is beside BarBBarn. So every vendor is going to come up this way. When they get to beach we are practically only tourists around. Distance between hotel and beach is not much. So everyone is within easy talking distance. I am sure if you were here for any time they would figure out who is new and who is not. We are new so it is hyper aggressive. People lining up to try to sell us stuff. I am in and out of water so no big deal for me. They never come in the water. I sometimes got to walk off from people cause they are not taking no for any answer.

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Had to laugh when Markus said he tried to time his return from the water to the beach to go between 2 vendors walking. Of course front guy slows down and trailing vendor speeds up to corner Markus on the beach. I am a pro. Know you cannot go in between. Got to pick a mark. Hopefully not even a vendor. Aim right at their heels. If they notice you they kind of spin in a circle as you go by. No thanks. Vendors came to water’s edge but stopped so swimming and playing in the water no problem.

Old guy has the same routine where he gives you what appears to be a joint and then you are obligated to buy him something. Like a beer at the bar or overpay for some cheap bracelet you don’t want.
I am on to this one.
Don’t need no huckleby weed.
He keeps trying to get me to hold it.
I won’t hold it and this really makes him mad.
I say you been doing that same bullsh*t for the 20 years I have been coming. Give somebody something they don’t want and then getting mad if they don’t buy something overpriced from you.
He said it was not true.
Dude I was next door yesterday you said the exact same sh*t to my friend.
I was standing right there.
What happened to Jamaicans not forgetting a face?
He is ranting and raving.
Whatever.
Front ur game away from me.
He left mad but left.

Yes it was a pain sometimes. Or the other hand we are playing $60 a night beachfront on one of top beaches in the world.

Blowing up float. Everybody wanted to help. What a white man can’t blow up a float. Literally had to fend off 5 offers to blow up my float for me. People were acting appalled that I was blowing up my own float. Took a while because it was new and the plastic was stuck together. Plus maybe my lung power was diminishing. Let me tell you something the day I can’t blow up my float is the day I won’t go floating anymore.

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Quit taking my photo
Finally get job done.
Whatever enough done to keep my ass from drowning.
Anyhow
Floating
Thanks and Praise
Cloudy I don’t care less sun the better for me it is still warm and like bath water.
Relaxing
I love the clear water.
Don’t like to touch nothing that might “get me”.
Drifted off and touched the Jet Ski rope it made me jump.
Light rain
So cool to be in the ocean when it’s raining.
No big deal since I was in the water and already wet.
Feels good. Warm and wet. Since I am already wet not a problem.

Rained harder.
I put the float on top of my head
No problem.
Having fun.

Thunder & Lighting
Check please!!!

The thunder & lighting was far away did not even have to rush out of the water. Rest assured I am getting out of the water when thunder and lightning are involved.
Get out of the water.
Where can I go all wet?
Go 30 feet from water
Just so happens the BarBBarn bar is right there.

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Nice. Dry off. pulled float onto property but not up to bar.
Some advantages traveling with 4 dollar float.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 27 (cont) – Afternoon at BBB
September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)
Angela’s (restaurant at BarBBarn) not open. Business too slow I guess. After rain. They said main restaurant will probably close by 6pm. No problem but its 545pm so I guess we will order a little something to tide us over until dinner.
Can’t remember what we got except for the club Sandwich. I bring this up because everybody makes a club sandwich. Each layer of Club Sandwich was toasted with melted cheese. The meats were not lunch meats but quality cuts. Club Sandwich is not something I order that much but this was the best club sandwich I have ever had. Damn Good Food.

Having never seen a show at Bourbon Beach I was thinking why anybody would pay to see the show when you can just stand by water and watch it for free? Turns out they put on a “fence” for the show and take it down afterwards so no free watching. I look over and watch my man Shabba putting up this fence all by himself during the hottest part of day.

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Basically he dug a deep hole in sand. Put in pole. Fill back up with sand. Level. Pack. As he got each pole in place he would drape a giant blue tarp over posts and tie down with sand and rope and you have a “fence”. When the “fence” is up people can still walk beach but not see the show for free. He told me it takes about 3 hours to put up temp fence.

So I am floating in front of BarBBarn. Wife and friends are in and out of the water around me. My eyes are closed. Totally relaxing and chilling.
Me love you long time.
I am almost positive I heard that.
Me love you long time.
Pretty sure it’s coming from the opposite direction that my wife was.
I am still laying on my float with my eyes closed but I am pretty sure that was a woman’s voice sounded about 20 feet away. Since I am in the water and did not notice anybody within 100 feet of me it is a little surprising. I heard noise in the water and opened my eyes to see my wife coming over to me in the water.
What did that woman say to you?
Well I am not 100% sure but I think I heard the phrase “me love you a long time”. If we were in Asia it might make more since. I suppose she probably saw me and fell madly in love and thought we would spend a long time together. I was scared to look was she good looking? Was it really JLo? This was the point where my wife first tried to drown me. Fortunately it was only 3 feet of water and I am a lot bigger than her.

Watched sunset. Just lounging on my float. Cloudy. Beach was deserted. Even the higglers/vendors took a break to rest up for the night work I guess. Beautiful sunset. Water fells so good. Bath water. Crystal Clear. White sand.

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Mushroom guy comes by. He is old guy. Says he sells his mushrooms to everyone. Any place you can name he sells to them. Any rock star you can think of he sold to them. Best mushrooms ever he says. I got no interest in grubby looking mushrooms but I am curious about them. Best ever. Only sells to rock stars but will make exception for me. Thanks but no thanks. I did take it upon myself to ask questions and increase my knowledge and that’s when it happened.
Can’t really explain how.
Somehow I was looking at the bag of mushrooms and then by magic
The mushroom jumped from the bag to between my thumb and forefinger.
You know.
He knew and I knew.
It was no longer a question of whether I wanted mushrooms are not.
The only question now was how much money I was going to pay for getting my grubby tourist hands on his pristine mushroom that is only sold to big rock stars.
Yes, yes I know best of the best only movie and rock stars. How much?
10 dollars!
***** that!
I will give u 100J (paying for answering all my questions)
500J these are best you can buy. Only big stars.
No chance I am paying 500J for 1 mushroom. No chance.
This was the point where my wife walks up and starts cussing me out about buying illegal drugs in the middle of beach and I have to come on to room and get ready. Nothing like getting yelled at by ur mom in front of everybody. Wife storms off. I am mad give him 200J throw the mushroom in the sand and walk towards room.
Not that it matters to you but
1. Mushrooms are not illegal.
2. I was not paying him for drugs. I was paying him for tricking me into holding the mushroom.
Whatever get in the shower she says.
Shower, get ready and wait and wait and wait for wife and friends to get ready. Off to dinner we go.

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 28 – Dinner at Jamaica Tamboo
September 6th, 2010 – Monday – (Day 3)
Our friends want lobster. I remember seeing a few buildings down a 2 for 1 lobster special. We walk pass Kuyaba with a nice food presentation display and menu out by the beach. They want to go in. Come on I say we are staying at BarBBarn saving money let’s not blow it all on this meal when we are not really even hungry. Further down the beach I don’t see the sign but pretty sure it was the Jamaica Tamboo. Guy on beach said sure not a problem on the 2 for 1 lobster. We sit down and he is nowhere to be seen. Waitress does not know anything about 2 for 1 lobster special.

What to do now? I don’t mind staying but I am not getting lobster for sure. Menu looks fine so we stay and my friend orders 1 lobster about $22 I think. I order the Conch $10 Entrée. Never had conch as a meal. Forgot what wife got. Conch was excellent. Tasted like chicken I guess. Friend said his lobster was top notch.

Review of Jamaica Tamboo
Beach front restaurant. Casual. Surprised the food was that good. Other than the lobster very reasonable priced considering you are beach front.

Finished eating and had leisurely 5 minute stroll on beach back down to Bourbon Beach. Can hear the show has started. With the blue tarp wall up cannot tell how many people are inside. We pay our $500J (about $6US) entry fee each and round to corner to a mass of ….