Me & the Daughter for last Jamaican trip

Hi all!

This is kinda hard to write but what the hell, I'm just gonna throw it on out there and hope maybe my experience will help someone else, or give encouragement!

A few years ago I had cancer, and before I kicked the bucket I wanted to show my daughter Jamaica - well I brought her for a couple weeks and it was the most awesome experience of both our lives! She fell in love with it just like me, and from the moment she stepped into the country you'd have thought she was a local, she was very relaxed, very cool & just seemed to fit right into the culture immediately!

So, I actually recovered from that cancer bout, YAY! The next time I was afraid cancer was rearing it's head I travelled alone, stayed on the West End at a private home of a friend of mine who bought a place there to retire, and had a BLAST at her cabins! So relaxing! Yup, Jamaica is my second home, and the place I run to, when I have troubles :)

OK ya'll, here's the hard part. I have the Cancer again. This time, it's the last time. They've done all they could do. I am lucky enough to live in Texas, so a few hours drive and I was going to MD Anderson, the premier cancer people out there. I had two surgeries, they removed and replaced my esophagus, so I can no longer speak at all. They gave me a device to hold up to my neck to "talk", but I have had so much neck swelling that it doesn't really work, the swelling is there to stay permanently. So I carry little note pads and write a lot of notes, LOL! Cell phone is great cause I can text message, and I practically LIVE on Twitter, LOL! Actually things were going pretty good till a few months ago, the CT scan showed the cancer was back. Well, not really a surprise cause we knew I had a VERY aggressive form of this cancer. The tumor this time is right up on the caratoid artery, and there is not a dang thing they can do at this point, they've done all they could do.

But, the good news is, with Chemo I can "prolong" life. Not cure, but prolong. I do it about once a week & it's a very mild form of Chemo so normally I can do it with hardly any ill effects! Now here's a little miracle. I just had a CT Scan and it showed that the tumor had NOT gotten any bigger! OMG! So the Chemo is working way better than we imagined. The doctors had given me about 12 months life expectancy, I ended up having to go ahead and stop working because I've gotten pretty weak and wonky, but the good news is, with 17 years at the same company I had a pretty good pension fund built up, which we now live on. AND here's a neat one.... through the company life insurance with Hartford, they had something called an Accellerated Death Benefit, which if you have a terminal disease you can request up to 75 percent of your policy value! WOW! So I did that, and again this is in the coffers for us to live on, and to pass on to my daughter once I do finally kick the bucket.

OK all this being said, I actually have a great attitude, I figure there is just not much else I can do, I can cry over what's gonna happen or I can instead try to enjoy every moment of this time.... I choose to enjoy! And share my story so that hopefully I can inspire or help other people along the way. That is my biggest hope, is that I'm able to help others!

Anyhow, so here I am letting people know the story and hope to help anyone and everyone I can! I'm planning on bringing the daughter probably in June, because we have the 2 grandsons and will need to wait til they are out of school, and then they can spend the time at their Dads while me & the daughter come back "home" to Negril :)

We'll probably stay about 10 days to 2 weeks.

Curious if anyone else out there is facing this kind of issue, how you deal with it, advice, etc. As I said, I run to Negril when I have my problems, this will make I think the 5th or 6th trip for me, I really have lost count, LOL! Unfortunately my best friend from there passed away, he was a great friend that was AWESOME when I took Sarah (the daughter), and did all the cooking for us (he was a chef). He is going to be sorely missed when we come, but he did manage to teach me a few things so I'm a pretty fair Jamaican cook with the spices now too, LOL! My daughter has medical issues too, and he was making her and I some tea from Soursop that helped us SO much, it was awesome! And people were tickled cause we'd go forage for our food, we liked to get out early and spot us some Ackee growing - even if we found nothing, we'd meet all kinds of neat people along the way that were tickled that we were out there foraging, hee hee! My friend would get us some shrimp & fish fresh & cook it up, and our veggies from the store or the veggie truck.

Ah, memories! Can't wait to get back!

Who all else might be there in June that we could hook up with? I am about 57 yrs old, the daughter in her 30's. We are kinda low key, not into partying, but would like maybe a night at Sea Star buffet or something like that.... that singer Steven over there is AWESOME and we'd love to see him for sure!

My name is Melissa, I used to go by 3 Little Birds way back in the day on the old Negril board :)

Melissa - what a great attitude you have and I so wish I was going in June - would love to hang with you. I have a very dear friend that has gone through what
you did - throat cancer and she can't speak. I know the note pads :) We took her to Mexico with us last September and she had a great time! We are going back in April - and I would have loved to bring her but she is recovering from a surgery that will help her be able to talk again. (fingers crossed for her)
I hope your going back brings you happiness and peace. And big wishes your treatments help and you enjoy to the fullest!!!

:)

you are truly an inspiration. such courage and passion. Jah bless, and console.

Thanks so much mamade11 !!! Yup the note pads, I do a lot of writing, LOL! There is a little PEC or something thingie they can put it so people can talk, but I was not a candidate for it because my surgery was too extensive, there was not good tissue to attach the little thingie to :(

Gosh that would have been cool to run into someone else with the same problem as me, LOL... it's weird not being able to talk, the worst is when you need to call the insurance company or something. I have to get my daughter to do it, and it's just such a hassle. Oh, how we take for granted, that ability to just pop in a phone number and call someone, LOL!

April huh? I would love going in April. Actually I could go anytime I darn well get ready to, hee hee.... but we need to be able to park the grandsons somewhere for a week or 10 days, and with one in school & the other in home school, it'd not work out I don't think, cause the one needs his home computer for the home school and the other wouldn't have proper rides to & from school because the husband lives much farther away than us. So, looks like we have to wait til they are out of school. Would love to bring them, but finances won't stretch to that, unfortunately.

I'm also hoping my health holds out.... I have good days & bad days, so I get pretty weak, but with my daughter there it'd be no problem cause she takes such good care of me, doing almost all the cooking & stuff! And she's a GREAT cook, let me tell ya! Luckily even though I did lose down to about 95 lbs, I actually eat pretty darn good! I always lose down every time with the cancer, but normally have all kinds of eating issues, but this time no issues at all other than it's hard to swallow, but I am able to eat pretty much anything I want :)

Thanks John! That is my ace number one ambition, to help others out there facing issues like this! People have helped me down this road and it's been awesome! I practically LIVE on Twitter, where I have met a tremendous amount of nice folks! It's funny cuz we post as our "cats", as if we are the actual "cat", and talk about hilarious.... people write as if the cat is writing, so you see stuff like, "Hai! I haz had mai baff and now I go nom on mai food bowlz! I haz had a gweat day, I pwayed wif my brofur and we did zoomies and bit at Mum's ankles, I am all claws and teef today MOL". The spelling is hilarious, and the videos are awesome!

God Bless You!! You said you hope to help others or inspire others? Are you kidding me?! After reading this YOU have become my HERO!!

Your words do a tremendous job in expressing a beautiful person as well as a human spirit that will not be kept down. Wow I am just blown away by this post, incredible.

I'd give anything to meet you and give you a hug, your awesome.

I don't have to tell you this but squeeze every drop you can out of each day, and enjoy your trip and family time.

God I wish I could reach thru a computer on this one. Thank you so much for your words, this will be one I print off and read for years to come.

Please take care Melissa,

Jamb

Stay strong!! You are an inspiration!

Oh thanks Jamb, your sweet words give me the weepy eyes, LOL!

And I just realized that shoot, we have cats and a bird to feed here, not sure if the daughter would be willing to leave all our "family" of pets.... I'll have to talk with her, I may yet have to do the trip by myself, darn it..... I'll just have to see what she says & see what we could work out. We have 3 cats, 2 are indoor, one is a kitten that the daughter just found in a box at the gas station about 2 weeks ago! What a little charmer! He's solid black, which we found out no one wants a black cat, which I can't understand, this IS 2014 not 1814, right? LOL! Anyways we are GLAD no one else wanted him, cuz we love the little fella! Our other cat was rescued as a kitten in a ditch, we figured someone threw her out of a car, that's the only way we could explain her being so far from any houses & such. The third cat is grown and was just abandoned, he started hanging out in our yard and we fed him & made friends! He comes inside sometimes during really bad weather and takes hisself a nap, but normally he prefers to stay outside :)

Then we have a Cockatiel, a few gerbils, and a couple fish. OMG.... what a menagerie, LOL!

Last time we went, we only had 1 Cat at the time & she was an outdoor cat, so all we had to do was fix up an automatic feeder dispenser, and have a neighbor look over & check it for us, and extra food for the bird & they were fine! But this time we have a freaking zoo to deal with LOL

Thank you Kaycee! I am, honestly, it's just the way I am to muddle on through and do the best I can with what I can, and seems to work for me, hee hee! I really hated to quit work, OMG I loved the people I worked with, had been there 17 years so you can imagine, it was a HUGE deal to stop working. I do go up there and visit and email & text message my coworker friends quite a bit.

Wow...!!!!...

Lady,,,,,, YOUR post(s) have JUST made-my-day/month/year/life

Brilliant posting der...!!!..

THANK YOU....!!!!...


:-)

Incredible post. Would love to meet you in Negril this summer.

Humble thanks. Prayers and blessings. Irie vibes.

Three Little Birds.......... I remember your positive postings for many years. Really hard stuff you are dealing with, what an inspiration POSITIVE lady! BRAVE lady. I like to think there is this place up in heaven with continual stage shows with Bob Marley, Dennis Brown, Gregory Isaccs, Joseph Hill, Sugar Minott, Jackie Mittou -- all in a great big band.
Sharleen

God bless you and your family

Wow wow wow what an inspiration you are!

I admire your courage and out look on how you are dealing with your condition. This is a reality check for me and others I'm sure. I will be in Negril next month and I am going to find a really quite and peaceful spot one morning and pray for you and your daughter that you have the most beautiful time together on the Great Island that so many of us call home.
May your heart be filled with peace and comfort

Melissa, You are an inspiration. I wish you the best and glad to see you are taking charge of your life rather than the reverse. I lost my little sister to brain cancer a little over a year ago and unfortunately she didn't have the ability to travel or spend any quality time with friends and family after the diagnosis as it took her quickly. My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and it has hit her hard. Her 1st surgery is scheduled for the Tuesday after Easter. In the consultation with the surgeon she asked how soon she would be able to travel and he stated "depending on the outcome and possibility of radiation and chemo, it may be a while". Although we have been coming to Negril for over 25 years, she said she wants to take a trip to the Abacos before her surgery and treatments and the Doctor thought it was a great idea to have it to look forward to and take her mind off the current realities. If all goes well, I would love to travel with my wife back to Negril this summer and will keep and eye on the board for your travel dates, I (we) would love to meet you and wish you the best.

wow what an inspiration . We are having a benifit today for a good friend whos battleing cancer, I am so glad that financially you seem to be ok . The reason for the benifit today is that our friend is now baried in dept with is a shame for this country. I do admire your courage and the good fight you are putting up. Wish we could be there in Negril with you,we were just there in Feb. We hope you have a wonderful stay in Negril

Melissa, what an inspiration to us all and you have me teary, too! I can see your zest and love of life shining through. You have a wonderful spirit and genuine courageous outlook. Many blessings to you and your family!

My hope is that you have a healing and relaxing time in Negril. Thank you, for sharing your story!

I also have a non curable medical condition but no where near as serious as yours and I only find comfort and suffer no symptoms of my disease when I am there. It is such a comforting and magical place

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Packrat

Melissa, You are an inspiration. I wish you the best and glad to see you are taking charge of your life rather than the reverse. I lost my little sister to brain cancer a little over a year ago and unfortunately she didn't have the ability to travel or spend any quality time with friends and family after the diagnosis as it took her quickly. My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and it has hit her hard. Her 1st surgery is scheduled for the Tuesday after Easter. In the consultation with the surgeon she asked how soon she would be able to travel and he stated "depending on the outcome and possibility of radiation and chemo, it may be a while". Although we have been coming to Negril for over 25 years, she said she wants to take a trip to the Abacos before her surgery and treatments and the Doctor thought it was a great idea to have it to look forward to and take her mind off the current realities. If all goes well, I would love to travel with my wife back to Negril this summer and will keep and eye on the board for your travel dates, I (we) would love to meet you and wish you the best.

---

Hi Packrat!

Oh I would surely say yes, bring the wife to Negril before her surgeries, it really helped me tremendously to visit "home" before going on with treatments! I often do chemo or whatever and I think back to being on the beach, the warm sands, the palm trees, the smell of the food, and it helps SO much! It's almost like a self hypnosis type deal :) I surely hope your wife will be OK! I will imagine her surgery will go just fine and a little Chemo afterwards to be sure they got it all, and then maybe after a couple more months ya'll can go BACK to Negril to celebrate her recovery! Cancer can be beat, I've actually beat it 3 times, and this time I won't beat it entirely but I'm managing to keep it at bay, LOL!

Thank you EVERYONE for all your wonderful sweet posts, I'm just getting going today, I had my Chemo yesterday so I'm still kinda wonky this morning and sleepy. Of course first thing I'm thinking of is, gotta go on the board & see what's up, cuz I sure want to try & make it to Negril again! And then I see all your sweet responses to my post and it just make my DAY, ya'll!

I'm thinking now I might have to come by myself cuz the daughter is not gonna want to leave all the animals LOL... also she has a really nice boyfriend, fella she's been knowing since high school and they are starting to grow really close together.... I don't think she's gonna want to go anywhere with this going on, I'm gonna say instead, I bet if I went to Negril, he'd come over here and stay with her while I was gone, which'd be great... we all love him, he's a super person! The boys think he's great so they all fit in nice together!

Anyways, if that's the case, then actually I'd be free to come whenever I get good & ready LOL! I've ordered a couple dresses of eBay so I'd like to bring them with me, so I'm gonna say tentatively I'd be ready to come down in a couple weeks or so, who all is gonna be there in April? OMG I would so much love to get caught up with ya'll nice people!

I might go all-in this time and even take the little plane instead of the bus, that bus trip is fun actually but being as I'm still pretty wonky on my feet, it might be worth the expense to take the little plane & save the hard drive. Plus I admit, I LOVE those little bitty planes, so flying in that is a treat in itself, LOL... I'll hafta check prices cause the last time I took the little plane was like 1999 or 2000 and only cost 60.00, a bargain!

Place to stay no problem ever, I have even just packed up and WENT and got me a place once I hit the ground.... I have my friend on the West End that I would WANT to stay with unless she's booked up. Travellers is my second choice, LOVE the family, love the place! I notice the plane fares aren't too bad, about 522.00 round trip, which ain't too bad at all actually!

My only fear is, like I say, I'm still pretty wonky. I stay sleepy all the time, so staying at my friends would probably be my best bet so she can kind of look out for me. I guess that's what I should do is make sure I go ahead and see what dates she has available & do that. And I can't walk so much like I normally do... normally I lilteraly walk everywhere, I've been known to literally go from one end of the beach to the other LOL! But it's so freaking easy to get cabs & rides, so I just would be a little more careful about over-doing it :)

My friends cabin has a full kitchen so I can cook, which I love to do!

OMG and Sangsters Rum Crème, OMG OMG dats the best stuff ever! I'm kinda non-drinker except I like Spiced Rum in my coffee & egg nog sometimes and I dearly, dearly love Sangsters Rum Crème hee hee! I even make ice cream out of it, I put it in the freezer and smash banana in it, and make ice crème LOL!

And my friend has a nother friend across the road that sells tee shirts & stuff & makes bush tea, he can probably fix me right up with a good bush tea to make me feel better! And he's a character, OMG I had so much fun with him talking about WWII and stuff, we hit it off like old pals!

Well I'd hoped to inspire others but ya'll have inspired ME as well to get off my butt and get MOVING like that gnome says Go and Smell the Roses LOL! Well I go and smell the bouganvilla and blue mountain coffee LOL!

Three Little Birds I remember you. Good to see you hangin in there. You are right I think Jamaica is part of our survival. I hope to make it back to the Rock soon maybe we'll run into each other if not you enjoy for both of us. Keep on truckin:)

OK I made a move and emailed my friend, see if she has dates available for me in April, so .... looks like I'm gonna get off my butt and come on down! So excited! I figure I'll share cost of groceries and take my dinners with her family, save me cooking at night & then I just cook breakfast & lunch. And OMG her & her man are GREAT cooks so I'd be well taken care of food-wise, mmmmm! Already dreaming of all those fresh veggies from the guy with the veggie truck, theres just nothing like fresh veggies. And the tomatos OMG they are SO good, but spoil ya then cause you can never eat regular grocery store tomatoes after having the real deal fresh ones from Jamaica LOL!

Wow, big thanks for your uplifting post. My favorite aunt was taken out by esophageal cancer in 2012. Thank you for reminding me of her today, her family has been on my mind, and the other day I caught a late-night rerun of 48 Hours that my cousin, her daughter was on.

Some people improve and live longer than expected when they begin 'hospice'...may you break records :)

I re-read your post and see that you lost your best friend in Negril, my deepest sympathies.

Lots of boardies around the mid-end-of April...

Go for it Melissa! My husband has brain cancer and we've been travelling as much as we can since his diagnosis. We don't know how much time he has, so we try to make the best of it. Life is so short, do what makes you happy :)

Melissa - April 29th for us for a week :) If you go during our dates I would LOVE to meet up with you. Rum cream yum! I really hope you can get back soon!

Melissa, I remember you from your posts as 3 little bird! We have 4 ladies, 1 couple, and 1 guy who will be there April 9 - April 18. All in our 40's - 60's (well, 1 of the 60+ girls acts like she's 30!). We stay in a beachfront rooms at Gail's place (NTH). If you will be "home" the same time we are, please let me know via post and we will make arrangements to hang out, especially if you are cliffside. It would give you a nice, comfortable place with cool people to hang with and a/c and clean restroom literally steps away on the beach. I really connected with you via the rum creme exception to drinking! The only time I touch booze is Bailey's/rum creme in the my coffee in the am. We are pretty low key, but fun if I do say so myself. We have lots of local friends who stop in with local fruits and juices. Not exactly a party, but we do have music!

I treated my mom's best friend (more like an aunt to me), my mom, and my daughter a few years ago to a trip to Oahu because my "aunt" was in end stage breast cancer and we wanted to have a "girls" trip to remember. At the same time my age 17 daughter was just cleared of the cancer that she had been diagnosed with at age 12 (we also went to a specialist at MD Anderson) so this was a combination of the celebration of that incredible news and our last girls trip with "auntie". The trip was physically difficult for my "aunt" but we always just did things at her pace, spending a lot of time on our ocean front deck and we ended up having the most wonderful trip. She truly cherished this until the day she passed. The memories created for us are priceless. She taught us so much on that trip! She showed us how to live with dignity and grace under the most extreme physical hardship and also how to accept what was coming (very soon for her, but inevitable for the rest of us) with the same dignity and grace. This was so important for my teenager who had also had many surgeries and radiation, to see. I sense that you carry that same spirit that my aunt had and I always embrace the opportunity to be in the presence of someone such as yourself. Please, please contact me if our dates work. The other member's of our group talk WAY TOO MUCH! I'm hoping they can learn something from you as well! LOL. I only say that because you seem to have a wonderful sense of humor.

Regardless of whether we are "home" at the same time, I wish you the best and I am so honored that you are willing to share your story with your Boardie brother and sisters. Know that everyone you have touched with this post is a little better human being because of it. Always remember, you made a difference in our lives! - Michelle

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lola

Wow, big thanks for your uplifting post. My favorite aunt was taken out by esophageal cancer in 2012. Thank you for reminding me of her today, her family has been on my mind, and the other day I caught a late-night rerun of 48 Hours that my cousin, her daughter was on.

Some people improve and live longer than expected when they begin 'hospice'...may you break records :)

I re-read your post and see that you lost your best friend in Negril, my deepest sympathies.

Lots of boardies around the mid-end-of April...

---

Mellisa, Get to Negril and stay as long as you can. Have a peaceful and relaxing trip. Lola sorry for your loss I lost a best friend in 2012 to the same cancer

Please don't take this the wrong way. Have you considered alternative treatment ? Jamaica has an affordable supply of oil .

Melissa, you are an inspiration! You have taken this board to whole new level, and that's saying something! Your spirit and spunk are amazing! You are a super trooper, girl!

Wish we were headed down there, as I would love to chill with you, and you would have the most awesome assortment of boardie family around you, I can just tell. Go for it, Melissa, and have a super time.

You have put many things into perspective, I am sure, for a lot of us!

Wish you the best and I will keep you in my prayers!
Maggie

Melissa, thank you for sharing your story with us.
Your courage is beyond strong, keeping you in our prayers.
My wife is a cancer survivor (28 years) and I have been cancer free for a year now. We are the lucky ones.
Negril has always been the place we run to when our health has gone bad. It means that much to us as well.
Go and enjoy every second of it. And blessings to you and your family.

OMG OMG OMG it's a done deal ya'll, so excited! Arriving April 15 thru April 22, so happy! Gonna be going back thru the threads & see who all will be there around that time and we'll get together! I'll be coming by myself for this trip, but daughter says we'll work something out in June & she'll come down with me then, so we've got it taped, I'd say!

Yup I have bought the tickets, have my cabin rental set up, now it's just the fun of packing and re-packing half a dozen times LOL!

my best friend died this past week after fighting cancer for 9 years.he went in the hospital(mayo) every year to receive cemo for a full month.when he got out he was fine again for a year,then he went in again.when this last time came for him to go receive cemo,he told me he didnt think he would keep on with this for too many more years.he went in and after about a week of cemo he developed a high temp of 103.so they put him in intensive care.one by one his organs started to shut down till he finally had had enough and died.i hope this does discourage you at all.he had the best aditude right up until his death.he knew he was going to die,but still lived life like nothing was wrong.so live the rest of your life to the fullest.it does help both you and all the ppl. close to you.god bless you and keep up the fight against this horrible disease.

Melissa go have a wonderful spiritual healing. So nice you are going back so soon. And then you have a trip to plan with your daughter in June. You are in my prayers.

Oh it has been so wonderful to read all your posts, all of you, my heart and prayers go out to each and every one with family and friends that have been through cancer or other debilitating disease! We muddle thru as best we can and just try to keep putting one foot in front of the other, LOL! I've had a good life, no regrets, raised a wonderful daughter and 2 absolutely outstanding grandsons, we are blessed blessed blessed! And I've lived much longer than I should, actually should have kicked the bucket many times with cancer before, but didn't .... and here I still am today, still kicking, LOL! And who knows, the doctor estimated a year but could be longer and even so, a year is a GOOD long time, so I feel double blessed again that I have a bit of a timeline to watch for (and surpass LOL!)

3 Little Birds, one of my longest best friends (my children's godfather) had the same kind of cancer that you have, he decided against receiving chemo, sold his house and moved to Dominica. That is "Domineeca" not the Dominican Republic. He loved JA but got sick of the place after his German friend was murdered in Grange Hill and his other Jamaican friend from Green Island has his eight year old son killed in a hit and run motor vehicle accident. He didn't tell any of his best friends of his cancer, he just decided to kind of "ignore it".... I wish you the best, enjoy life to the fullest, in JA the time goes by fast but joyously day by day. One day can be such a joy. A cane really helps with the "wonkiness" ... and they sell some really fine ones in JA, some really extremely beautifully hand made ones. Remember too that you can, without any charge, get a wheelchair delivery directly off the airplane through customs, to your taxi ride. After a long plane trip, it might be a really good option. My long time friend Harry-O used a clip board when he could no longer speak and it worked well for him. I am glad to hear that you are going back to Jamaica soon & I think it will do you a world of good.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by pine tree john

Please don't take this the wrong way. Have you considered alternative treatment ? Jamaica has an affordable supply of oil .

---

I was thinking the same thing. Of course cannabis and hash. And I've heard good things about the tuna plant.

Bless.

Melissa,

Great having you in the chat during the webcast tonight! And thanks for rekindling those memories from the original "Boardie Bashes" that we called the "Meeting of the Board" way back when.... (grin)

Looking forward to seeing you again and we will be sending you some of those links!

See you soon!

R&L