Taking our boy and the not so newbies along - a pre-trip report

Well...it's that time of year again. Getting ready for our annual trip to Negril. This year we are bringing our (not so) newbie friends again...and our son for his senior trip. Everyone has been super excited and thinking about the trip getting closer. However, that stopped for me in a way.

My father has been battling diabetes for many years....began dialysis a few years ago and lost his foot this past spring. He bounced back from that like a rock star. However, since Thanksgiving, he has had some additional health issues. He lost part of a finger in January and seemed to be doing ok. Last week he was admitted to the hospital, diagnosed with pneumonia...became (or was?) septic...and his heart stopped in the course of 10 hours. Sadly, he passed away that evening. It's been a horrible 9 days for me.

We are just a little over 3 weeks before our trip and I'm not close to being ready - mentally, physically, or emotionally...well, sort of. I am so looking forward to working on healing my soul in Negril...it still has to be a great trip and fun, because I don't want this to overshadow my son's senior trip. I am a tough ol' girl....we lost our mom 18 years ago....so I know that I will survive this, even when it seems like I couldn't possibly. So rather than starting with shenanigans...I am asking you all. How has Negril helped to heal you? Were you able to still enjoy to the same level as other trips?

Thanks...and stay tuned. Hopefully, I will be able to post a fun (and not so sad) trip report of our adventures upon our return.

Hi Jenn-
First I am so sorry for what you are going through. 2nd- my Wife went through something similar. She lost her mother to cancer at the young age of 55. A 34 year old should not have to go through that. I had a trip booked to negril for us before her death and I am so glad I didn’t cancel. It did so much for her recovery to go. We had so many laughs and a lot of crying moments ( many with the locals of negril) I cannot imagine a better place to be for you and your healing. It was good for our heart and soul. God bless you.

P.s. I kept this short because I could have made it very long.

Cd1523...thank you. I am 45 and have lost both of my parents. My mom 18 years ago...and now my dad. I am hopeful this trip allows the same for me. I am hopeful...even in the midst of so much turmoil.

It helped my wife a ton I will say that. Negril has been good for her heart and allows her to get away from everyday life. I hope it does the same for you. God bless you.

Oh Jenn. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad but Negril will help you to heal. Don't stress just pack your usual things and go. I know from almost the same experience (my Mum) how the beautiful water and the beach can help the healing tremendously.

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Originally Posted by Jenn

Were you able to still enjoy to the same level as other trips? .

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Our early Feb trip was our first return since loosing our Son.

Short answer is Yes, you have family with you in a very special place, nothing heals better than that.

For us there will never be a 'same', that is saved for precious memories. The reason that meeting so many special new friends this year was priceless for us, a reason to smile, heal and build new memories to be cherished.

Too much pain we all must feel...I'm so sorry, Jenn & Daveh for your recent losses.
Jenn, I'm with you lady...I lost both my parents before I was 50 and unfortunately my family is going through another tough period...BUT...
I'm so glad you're still coming to Negril.
It's true what everyone has said...this IS a very healing place.
Negril has a way of giving you time to reflect...peacefully. Those beautiful memories of your Dad will truly warm your heart and help with your healing...and none of that reflective time will impede your joy of bringing your son...it will only enhance.
If I hug you too hard when I see you let me know... :friendly_wink:

February 16th 2015 we were 7 days into a 15 day stay in Negril and Eryn received a call from her mother letting her know that her Dad had just died of a heart attack shoveling snow. We could not get a flight out until later the following day, and my wife was beside herself with grief and anger that we were not closer to home. We spent the next 24 hours after the call walking and waiting, all night. It was 36 hours later, and 3am when we finally made it back to Duluth. The following year when the time came to decide whether we would go again I was a little hesitant to ask her, but immediately she said of course, and she truly felt it was what her Dad would have wanted her to do. To this day if you ask her if she misses talking to her Dad she answers "No, because I still talk to him every day". Our trip back to Negril the following year had special meaning for her. The time on the beach sitting quietly, the ocean, music and laughter passing in waves down the beach, all really reminding you of how precious life is. It brought her some measure of closure on the trip at some moment I couldn't put my finger on, but I could feel it from her.

So sorry for your loss Jenn and Daveh. I think you will experience a measure of peace from your trip that Negril seems able to give to all that visit. And of course you too will be talking with your Dad or Son every day as well, and sharing your trip with them. To quote Winnie the Poo "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

Quote:

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Originally Posted by daveh

Our early Feb trip was our first return since loosing our Son.

Short answer is Yes, you have family with you in a very special place, nothing heals better than that.

For us there will never be a 'same', that is saved for precious memories. The reason that meeting so many special new friends this year was priceless for us, a reason to smile, heal and build new memories to be cherished.

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Daveh I know first hand losing a parent is tough, but losing a child, I don't know if I would have the courage to get out of bed. My hats off to you for having the strength to keep going. Once again a great reminder of how precious life is.

Jenn
Negril is so peaceful. A nice sunset walk on the beach, reminiscing about your dad and all the memories you've had, can be very heartwarming. He's in a better place, and with your mom if that's where he wants to be. We'll say a prayer for him, and you and your family as well.

Deepest condolences Jenn and Daveh. I hope everything will be ok with you too BnewB.

Watch the sunset at the end of the day and think fondly of those who are gone. Jenn, I know this is your happy place, and with your friends and family around it will also be your healing place. xo

Ah - you guys....I'm crying as I read your posts. Daveh - I am so incredibly sorry for your loss....I can't imagine your pain. Your words give me a sense of ease though and a hope that this will in fact be the best place to be to work on healing.

Lisa- hug away, sister! :)

Irine - I also cannot imagine that happening while gone. I'm sorry for your wife's loss as well. I also wasn't with my dad because we were having a horrible snowstorm...and he was supposed to be ok.

Sue - I'm sorry for the loss of your mom...but again, your words give me hope.

John - yeah, he's with my mom...that's where he wanted to be. I have to believe that it's true.

Bluez - thanks, friend. xo

You guys - I really don't have words. I appreciate y'all so much. My husband (who loves Negril - but maybe not to the insane depth that I do) said to me tonight...you need to be in Negril...that's your favorite place and it will be good for your soul. Thanks and thanks and thanks again. Hopefully, I'll be able to shed some tears and have a great time all in the same vacation.

Much love to you all. xoxo

I lost my mother last October, 2 months before our 10th anniversary party in Negril. And a neice a month later. The ocean has always been healing for me. There is a peace I find there like nowhere else.

Aww Ras...we're so sorry. :concern:
R&L

Sending love and sympathy, Ras.

As you already know and stated Jenn, you have the comfort of knowing he is with your Mom and now your family can help you celebrate memories of a life well lived. Away from the gray days of Midwest snow and cold, you couldn't find a better place and time to celebrate those memories!

My Father passed a few months before my Son but I was fortunate enough to spend a few days with Dad just prior to his passing and he shared with me some incredibly comforting thoughts in that short time. "A parent who is fortunate enough to live to see their children grow and prosper, in a loving marriage, and having raised their own successful children, I can leave fulfilled, happy and with no regrets... but you still have to go to work on Monday... now who's the lucky one?!" The nurse who had just walked in near peed herself we were all laughing so hard...

The special friends I mentioned we met this year... We sat down at a table to chat and watch the sunset with a couple we had just met on the beach earlier in the day and the lovely lady had a few tears on her cheek. Turns out she had recently lost her daughter and somehow felt it would be OK to share that with us. Just when you think you are in control of things that happen, we were brought together by something far more incredible than ourselves! A toast and thanks to her Daughter and our Son for the introduction, tears gave way to celebration... as it should be.

As to Negril being a Special place.... ya think? Its all good.

Well...we *almost* had more bad news...but fortunately...it's all good. Our friends that go with us, you know, the "newbies"? Well, there was a health concern that we weren't sure wasn't going to require surgery. Guess what? It DOESN'T! :) They were going to have to cancel their trip this year if it did...but alas....all is well!

So thankful for a little good news these days!

We are just over two weeks away from leaving. I'm really feeling the pull of Negril this year and know this will be good for me. For my family. And now for my friends too.

Sounds like the party is ON!