Trip Report 1 ~ Grand Pineapple ~ May 2011

I am a newbie to these boards & I gotta tell you, I have spent the last few weeks being a voyeur. Loving the pictures and the trip reports and the overall goodness of the people here. I have been to Negril 3 times in the last 18 months, and am eagerly awaiting my 4th trip in Jan. I am sure I am not going to be nearly as entertaining as most of these trip reports and I certainly don't have a knack for writing like Clarity, Manda, and most of the others but I will give it a go.

First trip was planned for months. My 2 friends & I had been planning a girls trip. We have been best friends for 20 years, since middle school & wanted to get away. My co-worker and great friend (badnaz) had been to Jamaica 17 times and was always taking about it, so with alot of her advice and knowledge, we finally settled on Negril. Keep in mind, I had never been outside of the continental United States so I was sure it was going to be fun for me. I just never knew that it would change my life. We booked our tickets & decided to stay at the Grand Pineapple because it was right in the center of the "action." But we also figured it would have a local vibe which we were looking for as opposed to a Beaches or a Sandals. We are ready for our 7 nights in paradise. I am armed with a list from my friend about different things I MUST try and places I MUST go when I am in Negril and we are ready.

Day 1 ~ Myself, Eryn, & Julie are meeting up at 4 am to head to the airport. I am recently separated from my husband & the mother of 1, Julie is a fun, single, hard-working girl who has traveled all over the world, and Eryn is a married mother of three. Julie also does not drink at all, and we have given her the nickname VOR ~ (voice of reason) for this trip. We arrive at Julie's and are checking to make sure we have our passports, suntan lotion, etc. I have heard that cigarettes are expensive in Negril so I have packed a whole carton. I check with Eryn (who only smokes when she drinks) to see if she has enough cigarettes. She replies with I have almost a full pack so I think I will be fine. Lol. Guess she underestimated how much we would be drinking. We arrive at the airport for our 6 a.m. flight and off we go. I am so nervous, but so excited. After a brief layover in Atlanta, we are off to MBJ.

We arrive at the airport and I am overwhelmed with the customs process but everything goes off smoothly. We get outside to the hustle & bustle and immediately see our driver, Dudley holding up a sign with our names. WELCOME TO JAMAICA!!! I am already amazed by how friendly everyone is and cannot wait to see the beach. We get in the very nice, air-conditioned van and begin our journey. Dudley has a cooler of cold Red Stripes for us and we are off. Words cannot even describe how beautiful the drive is and I am immediately shocked at how un-educated I am about other cultures. Driving down the road, Dudley is giving us so much information & he is extremely helpful and welcoming. We book a trip with him to go to Mayfield Falls later in the week. As I open my 2nd Red Stripe, I am shocked to see the schoolchildren walking on the sides of the roads and am overwhelmed with the differences. In the midwest where I am from, no-one more than a half-mile away actually walks to school & if they do, there are sidewalks, crossing guards, and parents with them. My 3rd Red Stripe goes down smoothly, and just as I pop open my 4th one, Dudley says... Welcome to Negril.

Arriving at the Grand Pineapple, I am blown away by how everyone is so friendly. Of course, I am also enjoying quite a buzz from the experience already, not to mention the 4 Red Stripes. We are welcomed with a ginger drink (which I did not love, but my friends did) and are shown to our room. We quickly get on our bathing suits and head down to the bar & beach. There are no words to describe the beauty of the beach as you are seeing it for the first time. I won't even begin to try because you all already know. We head to the bar and are welcomed by Andrew. Along the way, I am shocked that the staff all welcomes us by name. Andrew makes Eryn & I our first of many Dirty Bananas (one of the MUST try items on my list) and we head down to the beach. Ralston (the security guard) welcomes us and assures us he will be looking out for us because beautiful girls such as ourselves "his words" shouldn't worry. Did I mention I love it here already. We decide day 1, we are just gonna walk the beach and take in the beauty. We head down the beach, and probably have "First day in Jamaica" written all over us because everyone wants to talk to us and help us out. We meet Captain Jack Sparrow & Shama-Lama-Ding-Dong who want to take us on a boat ride, we meet the "pharmicist" who can get us anything we need without a prescription, jet-ski, parasail, snorkel, excursions. What do we want to do? We go offered ghanga, cola, red stripe, and even Big Bamboo. We end up with some bracelets, a sarong, and some small gifts from home and finally settle on having a cold drink at Sun Beach (a MUST stop on my list) After a few Red Stripes and some early lessons in Patois, Julie (who doesn't drink) gets up and dances on the bar with the encouragement of the bartender and I can't believe how much fun we are having. We are jet-lagged and decide to head back to GP for dinner and relax on the beach. This is where we first meet Gilbert. We are enjoying our "fresh mango & papaya" which has got to be the best thing I have ever put in my mouth when Gilbert stops right in front of us & does his thing. Many people have their own ideas about what he is doing, from preaching to herding cattle to driving out demons, I think he is just being Gilbert and I can't stop watching him. I love that the locals will give him water, beer or cigarettes because they are looking out for him. Day 1 is coming to end, we meet some great people at the hotel and after reassurance from Patrick (guard 2), we book Captain Jack Sparrow & Shama for a trip to Rick's cafe the next night.

Loving it, keep it coming. Great pix too

Cool report! I can't wait for more!

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just as I pop open my 4th one, Dudley says... Welcome to Negril

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Four Stripe drive to take the edge off a flight....priceless!

Great report! Bar dance shot a classic, all of this is so wonderful. Keep it a comin'! Love it.

Your off to a great start Susan, ooops...... I mean "love negril"!

Can't wait for Beth to see this.

Can't wait for more!!

Jamb

Day 2 Part 1 ~ We wake up early and have Blue Mountain coffee (must have) on the patio before heading down to breakfast. Everything is good, and we have some great fruit and the best omelet. I still need to have a real Jamaican breakfast. We head down to the beach to relax. We decide to do some of the water sports before we head to snorkel. I have never been snorkeling and am excited. We get in the shuttle to head down to Sandals for this adventure. Sandals was very nice, don't get me wrong but I prefer the GP. We head in the boat and go out snorkeling with about 25 other people. We arrive at the spot and jump in. I don't have an underwater camera but I wish I did. The water was crystal clear and I couldn't believe how many fish were right in front of my face. We had a good time exploring on our own and it ended much too quickly. We headed back to the GP and I was ready to start drinking.

Andrew fixes us my new favorite drink Have a Nice Day, and we head down to the beach to wait for our trip to Ricks Cafe. Our new friends Shama, Captain Jack, Cyrano & Ian are waiting for us and they invite us to pre-party before we head off to Rick's Cafe. We are sitting on the glass-bottom boat and get introduced to our first taste of rum punch & JB overproof. Here is an example of it's potency. Shama dips his finger in the rum (which they are drinking straight) and makes a circle on the boat seat. Then he takes a lighter and POOF- instant flames. I think maybe I will not be drinking that alone. They mix up a gallon of rum punch and we begin our first lesson on Jamaican curse words. We learn that anything ending in clot is bad. Bumboclot, pussyclot, etc. The boys also teach us the word Mofat, but refuse to tell us what that means I still don't know to this day and if anyone knows, feel free to enlighten me. The rest of the tourists arrive for our excursion and we are off. As soon as we leave shore, the "smoking" begins. I have never in my life seen a joint that big. As My knowledge continues to grow, I learn it is not a joint but a spliff, or a Bob Marley. 15 people on the boat, 4 spliffs lit at once. I am so not prepared for this. We drink our rum punch and are headed toward Rick's. The guys are entertaining us with tales of pirates and dancing & singing and it is a great time. We stop at the caves along the way and they pull the boat into a cave. Cyrano jumps out of the boat and grabs a cup of water and throws it in the air and BATS everywhere. Get me out of here, but they just laugh. They are fruit bats, they are not gonna hurt you. Ummmhhh.... They are still bats.

We arrive at Ricks and stop near the dock. We have the option to stay on the boat with free booze & ghanga or dis-embark and watch from Ricks. We choose to go to Ricks and watch the cliff divers. Ian goes with us and everyone stays on the boat. Drinks are more expensive here so we only have one, but it is really amazing watching these guys dive. I will say I am glad I went, never having seen anything like it, but very very touristy. Plus, after the rum punch I drank, I am beginning to think I might be able to jump. We are told we have to wait until Ninja dives before we head back. It really was amazing to watch. Back on the boat, we are heading back to the Grand Pineapple and the sun is starting to set, when Captain Jack (Greg) stops and says we have to stop and watch. He turns off the boat and we are idling there watching the sun. He says we need to give thanks to God for another beautiful day, thanks for the beauty of the sun, and thanks to making new lifetime friends. I couldn't agree more. We watch the sun set on the horizon of the water and the only word I can use is BREATHTAKING. This was my first realization about the people of Jamaica. They are so thankful for everything they have, even if it is not much and they are poetic in the way they love life. I am so touched, I almost cry. This was by far worth so much more the $20 I spent for the ride. We get back to GP and the guys invite us to hang out that night. We head back to the hotel to change and eat and agree to meet them later. Coming up later in Day 2-part 2: The Voice of Reason goes o bed early, first taste of "Bob Marley" & they were laughing with us, not at us.
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Thanks Jamb, still got 2 more trips to go too!

Perfect sunset, thanks.

Great report so far, will check back later for more!

Day 2 Part 2 ~ So we have dinner, freshen up and head back down to meet the guys. Because they are not allowed to come onto the property at the GP, we head next door and just sit on the boat docked near shore and start our party. At this point we have decided we are going to move to Jamaica and start new business adventures. Some of our ideas include selling rum punch on the beach, opening a bar in the middle of sea which can only be reached by boat, etc. I think most of us have entertained the idea of moving to JA at one time or another. So...sitting on the boat, we are drinking more rum punch, and Julie- the VOR (voice of reason) decides she is going to go to sleep early. Tomorrow we are heading to Mayfield Falls and she is tired. Goodnight VOR! We are having fun, getting into the spirit of Negril, & since there is no VOR to keep us in line and decide Once in Negril.... let's try the Bob Marley. We partake and for the first half hour we are laughing and having more fun than I can ever remember. Eryn is so intoxicated with everything, she can't even stand up straight and we get off the boat and head to the beach. She is falling all over the place and our new friends are laughing with her. Patrick the security guard checks up on us (I love this) and we assure him we are all ok. We stumble to Alfred's and watch a fire dance show which (from what I remember) was amazing. Thankfully, everywhere we went that night was right next to the GP because suddenly, Eryn tells me that we have to go to the room as the world is spinning. We say goodnite to our friends and stumble home. I am somewhat carrying Eryn back to the room and she keeps saying, they are laughing at us. And I assure her... NO they were laughing with us. If there was a video of this walk to the room, it would be priceless. As we are entering the hotel room, we are trying to be quiet bc Julie is sleeping. NO SUCH LUCK!!! I fall as I walk into the room and Eryn cannot stop laughing. We blame Julie for going to sleep early bc she is supposed to be our VOR. Tomorrow brings Mayfield Falls & a machete fight.

2nd paragraph in I read, "Keep in mind, I had never been outside of the continental United States so I was sure it was going to be fun for me" and "I just never knew that it would change my life."... I have stopped, as this promises to be an awesome report! Returning with some Wray N Nephew and Sangster's in about 5 minutes so I can really enjoy this!


Now to settle in....LOL!

Happy Travels


SKB

Day 3 ~ We are not in trouble with Julie since we still got up early, had our morning coffee on the porch and were ready to go to the falls when our driver picked us up at 9:00. What can I say about Mayfield Falls, it was beautiful. I highly recommend it if you have never been there. But, I had even more fun driving there and seeing the people along the way. It is amazing to me how everyone would smile and wave, the goats staked to the side of the road and friendly people hanging their laundry. Our driver explained to us that in Jamaica many of the houses are not fully built because they don't believe in credit. You build what you have the money for, and then add on when you have more. I can't imagine living like that, but maybe it's how we should all be.

Once we get to the falls, there is quite a bit of hiking and the water was chilly once you got in. But, coming from the midwest, I have never seen a waterfall and it was exhilarating. Our guides were amazing here as well, I love the fact that they honestly cared about your experience because it made everything better. It was also great hiking back through the forest, seeing the different leaves, trees, and plants. Once again, if you have never been there, GO! But, it is tiring. We have a drink at the Mayfield bar, buy a few small crafts and head back to Negril. We are pretty quiet on the way back, tired, and navigating the narrow roads with pot holes everywhere must be a task for our driver. Suddenly, he comes to a stop and curses Bumboclot. In front of us, blocking traffic are 2 cars that must have gotten into a small fender bender. They are out of the cars in the middle of the street yelling at each other. Our driver assures us "No Worries" they are just settling it Jamaican style, he honks his horn for them to get out of the way. He is trying to pass them when one of the men pulls out a machete and starts waving it at the other guy. The other guy then runs to his car and grabs a pipe. "Can we get out of here?" we ask. Our driver is trying to get around them and keep us out of the middle of everything when the guy with the pipe hits the other guy and he goes down. The other guy gets up slowly and charges at the guy with his machete. Quickly but carefully, our driver gets us out of harms way as we fly past there before we see if any more blood is shed.

So, that was exciting, and we are ready to relax. We head into town with just a quick stop at the ATM before getting back to Grand Pineapple. It was an exciting trip and we decide tonight we are just gonna relax at GP because they are having buffet on the beach and a reggae band. We take a quick nap, shower and head down to the buffet. It was lovely and I got to try callaloo (must try) which is absolutely my favorite food. Love love love it!!!! The band was nice, people were dancing, and Andrew the bartender even got up and sang. We had much fun and met some other great tourists. We were sitting on the beach and our friends ~ Shama, Ian, Cyrano, and Greg wave us over. We go over to say hi and the first question I ask them is "Last night were you guys laughing at us, or were you laughing with us?" "No mon, we were laughing WITH you and WITH Eryn as she went skippity skippity skippity all over the beach. They want us to hang out again but we are too tired, but we make plans to go snorkeling and to the island with them in 2 days. Sitting at the bar on the beach, listening to the reggae... drinking some banana rum cream I am realizing how much I love this place & I honestly can't remember being happier in my life.

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Originally Posted by bjritz

Perfect sunset, thanks.

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There's nothing more breathtaking in the world.

Day 4 begins the same way, coffee on the porch. Today we are just gonna walk the beach, and do some GP activities. I spend much of the day relaxing and napping on & off in the sun. We do some kayaking, ride the big wheel bike in the water, and of course... drinking some Dirty Bananas. After lunch, we decide to walk into town and do some shopping and try out some of the jerk chicken on the side of the road. (must have) We purchase some shirts for people back home & the store clerk lets us use his phone to call home. I check in with my daughter and unfortunately have to talk to my racist brother. (more on him later) Despite his negative comments on the vacation destination I chose to take, I am not letting him bring me down because I am having the time of my life.

After much shopping, we head back to the GP for a much needed Red Stripe or three, or four. I can't remember. We spent a few hours talking to one of the security guards ~ Donovan and again I am blown away at the people in Jamaica. Some of the best people ever. Without being too nosy, I wanted to get an idea about what the average salary is in Jamaica. He informed me that as a security guard, he works 60 hours a week and brings home about $400 US every 2 weeks. He feels blessed to have such a great job as there are so many people in Jamaica struggling to find work. He gives much of his paycheck to his mom to help his family. He was so matter of fact about it, I never once got the impression he thought this was anything but norm.

Because it is still early-ish, we decide to walk the beach. But all the security guards advise us that maybe walking the beach after dark alone is not such a good idea. Lucky for us, we have friends in Jamaica now, and they are more than happy to walk with us. Patrick asked when we thought we would be back and where we were going. I loved that they were always looking out for us. So, we head down toward Bourbon Beach to listen to some music. As soon as we start walking, we realize why we shouldn't go alone. We are walking and a guy comes up to me and is very persistent with wanting me to leave with him. I kindly inform him that I am not interested, but he will not take NO as an answer. He becomes a little aggressive and tries to pull me away when Shama & Cyrano inform him that I am with them, and after some heated Patois, the guy says Respect & moves on his way. This was the only person in Negril I met that I didn't love. We are walking a little farther when they inform me that he was a Rent-a-Dread. REALLY!!!! My first time ever being propositioned by someone in that profession, strike that one off my bucket list!

At Bourbon Beach, they have a DJ and we are having a few drinks & some Bob Marley and a few rum shots & suddenly ~ right in front of us ~ we get to see what daggering is! (Sadly, no pictures of this.) Let me tell you. I wanted to close my eyes but couldn't look away. Somehow I don't think this will become a hot dance trend in Missouri. Later, I did get asked to dance but before I agreed, I made sure my dance partners knew, I was not eager to try that. Still, the regular dancing was almost as sinful as things I have only done behind closed doors before. But amazingly the rum shots made me not care. LOL We had a great time and headed back toward home for the night. Before we got to the GP, we stopped and sat on an empty stretch of beach and talked with our new friends for a few hours. It was great exchanging our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings with people with such different backgrounds. We finally made it back to the GP about 4 am and headed off to bed. It was not too crazy a night, but had some great conversations that I will remember forever.

Tomorrow ~ snorkeling again & the island.

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I'm loving this trip report so far! My first experience in Negril was at Grand Pineapple. I really miss Andrew the bartender, Ralston, Patrick, Captain Sparrow and Shamma lamma Ding Dong, and of course watching Gilbert dance and hollar across the beach!
Love all your pictures, It looks like you all had the time of your lives! So many smiles!
Yes, Every group going to Negril needs at least one "VOR" lol;)
Thank you for sharing your experiences! Please keep it coming! I'm looking forward to the next update
P.S. I always wanted to try that water bicycle!

Day 5 ~ Spending the day with our friends on the island. I am so excited to talk about this day because it was by far my favorite day of the trip. I know I do not have the capability of putting it into words, but I am gonna try. First of all, let me start out by saying the cost of this trip which we left at 11 and didn't arrive back til 6:30 cost us $30 US. This included the snorkeling, the drink, the ghanga, the company, and the food. Not too mention, that because they knew Julie did not drink, they always had diet pepsi for her. If it would have cost $300, it would have been worth it. We start off on the boat and it was us and 6 other people. We first stop and go snorkeling for 90 minutes. Yes...90 minutes. Not only that but Cyrano went with us and personally showed us all the cool things we would have missed by ourselves. He took us to the anchor on the sea floor, and he dove down and brought up starfish, shells, sea cucumbers (gross), sand dollars and more. When we got back on the boat, Captain Jack & Shama told us the "Tall Tales" of the pirate ship & treasure down below. We settled in, I was drinking the rum punch & smoking. Julie was kicked back with her Diet Pepsi, and Eryn was taking it easy. We motored down the beach and as we got closer to the island Captain Jack informed us that there were people really enjoying their vacation at the shore. Apparently we had arrived just after Hedonism group arrived and EVERYONE was laying out in the sun naked as a baby. I have respect for everyone and if that is how they were free, more power to 'em. No worries. I however was keeping my clothes on. Attachment 19175Attachment 19176Attachment 19177Attachment 19178

We sat in the hut and talked to new people, we learned the history of the island. Attachment 19179

We watched as they started cooking our food which was brought in from the cages right in front of us. We watched as the guys demonstrated their spear fishing and they even let us try. We were not successful, but it was still fun trying.

To be continued....

Here is what we ate...Attachment 19180Attachment 19181
Roasted breadfruit which is my new favorite favorite favorite. Attachment 19182

Fresh from the sea... Attachment 19185

We drank....Attachment 19187

Great trip report! Sorry you didn't have any fun on the sunset cruise. Ha Ha .......;)

Again, it was by far the best day. We didn't want it to end. After eating, we relaxed, climbed some trees, played some futball, and were sad to have to leave. Attachment 19192Attachment 19193

We had so much fun with our friends, but they had another group to take to Rick's and they were already running late. So we had to motor back. We get to shore and they ask what we are doing later. "Nothing" we say. So, come to Rick's with us. Although we loved spending time with them, we had already done that and we didn't want to spend the money to do it again. "No no no charge, come with us as friends." Well... okay you twisted our arms. But NO bats this time. "Yah mon, no bats."

So, off to Rick's again.

Since we were going on the cruise for free, we had to at least buy the booze for the 2nd trip, so we docked somewhere and spent a whopping $25 on rum & punch. We
are cruising along, and we earned our keep by being in charge of the boat's horn. We had to mark our arrival. Attachment 19196Attachment 19197

We are heading to Ricks and DETOUR ... bat cave again.

After making it out alive, we finally get to Ricks and tie up with some other boats and while Eryn & Julie go in, I decide to stay on the boat. Attachment 19198

Great report, you tell it like it is, like that. You three look to have had serious fun.