question(s)::::>>> have you asked this/these question(s) of your Ja-boyfriend AND his family...???...Originally Posted by butterfly
what they say..??
what did they tell you..??
if i wanted to know why the chicken crossed the road,
i'd ask the chicken
be hapPpy
Speaking personally, there are plenty of people in the US with whom we have essentially this same relationship: we hear from them when they need something, otherwise never. And that's OK, I just don't confuse them with "friends". In fact, some family members sort of fall into this category, too.
The discussion here, I think, is lumping together different kinds of relationship. So let me categorize:
Can a tourist have real friends in Jamaica? Of course. I think everyone knows what "real friend" means. A real friend thinks of you when there's nothing in it for him. Wildly unbalanced wealth makes this relationship more tricky (have any college buddies who became millionaires?).
Are there people in any tourist destination in the world whose job is that they sell friendship while you are there? Yes, definitely. Those people can be great to spend time with, and give excellent value for your money, but make no mistake, this is a business relationship. Unfortunately, many tourists don't understand that this is a business relationship. (If you have a travel agent or a real estate agent in the US, she is also your friend while you're doing business - that's the business she's in.) The good ones are happy to see you when you come back, remember something about you, and in general are very good at playing the friend role.
Are there "business friends" who attempt to abuse the relationship? Yes, of course. Mostly I think that they are people who just aren't very good at the "tourist friend" business and are frustrated because they're not making money. I think this is similar to the beach vendors who sabotage their own efforts by being too aggressive in trying to sell things. These are the "friends" who call you back at home and ask you to send them money, and when you don't, they're angry.
Are there just plain beggars, scammers, etc.? Of course, everywhere. In Rome there are plenty of pickpockets in the tourist places and on the buses most frequented by tourists. Different styles in different places.
Last edited by wrtiii; 09-28-2011 at 07:56 AM.
I understand how you feel, I know how it works, but its very hard not to get caught up with the people you meet. I have to keep remembering I am only here for a week , and they are only helping me for something in return, a ride , info, travel guide, etc. Most of us stay on the beach or cliffs and visit the country for a tour, so to meet jamaicans not in the tourist area is hard. I have talk to alot of jamaicans about how hard it is in the states, and they always say things like (you have nice clothes, or you have ways we can't). I have had the same phones calls when I came home.
The phone call problem/issue seems to be a reoccurring theme here. I find this point interesting.
I have met an incredible number of boardies over the years, many who are posting in this thread. I have varying relationships with each one, some I see year after year, others several times a year and have many I would consider real friends. But out of all these tens or even hundreds of thousands of people I have met since moving here, I have less than a handful of home phone numbers.
So an interesting question would be, why are some visitors so quick to give out their home phone number to people they meet in Jamaica?
I would hazard to guess that when the phone number was given out, one of the lines mentioned was "if you ever need anything, please let me know" kind of statement. Not in all cases, but I would think it was said quite often.
And be thankful folks, with the Digicel international plan now, at least these calls are no longer made "collect".... (grin)
Negril.com - For the vacation that never ends!
"Quid Pro Quo" (something for something) is normally the measure I use. I have this one friend on the beach who always asks me for money, and my response is; "sure, I'll give you $XX if you get me 3 coconuts or something like that.
Folks asking me for money just has never been a big problem that I can't easily deal with by being straight forward. As with so many things in Jamaica, common sense is always my best guide.
Experiences like that cause me to be even more grateful for the advantages we enjoy in this country (USA), and I wish nothing less than that for all Jamaicans.
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#1......that '..international plan.." is a godsend..!!..
last-trip, i needed to call-home (to-foreign),
and my Ja-mentor offer-ed the use-of one of their cellphones
~~~~the-one with the international-plan chip~~~~
i was blown-away by how cheap the call was:::>> Ja$20 for a nice long call
#2....those back-in-the-day '..collect..' calls
I, too, have gotten 2-3 of those calls
each-time, i FIRM-ly told the caller:::>> "..DO NOT EVER do that again..!!!.."
i've gotten no more collect calls
be hapPpy
I am a part time musician and this reminds me of a tune we play somtimes...Not sure who wrote it but the chorus is this " Party til' the money runs out, party til' the money runs out, if you want to find out who the real friends are just party til' the money runs out".........close the bar tab and look around...if you are now alone then you don't really have any friends....
BE A TRAVELR
At least with collect calls you could decline it!
Some great points here - But to follow up on Smith's post about asking the JA born US resident - I think you will find that they are not exempt from getting the same treatment and calls - Above and beyond all points already raised, we also have to battle the media perception created - America, the land of the rich and the free....
And...Famous!
re the chicken crossing the road, Smith..great answer.
,,,and Rob ,...yu hit the nail on the head !!
Some tourists throw their money all around(innocently), confuse business relationships and friendships and then are always complaining how their ""friends" are treating them.
Someties wen yu try to explain to them how they could adjust their behaviour, they will call yu names ...tell yu yu are cheap etc..
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