Why do jamaicans find it so easy to beg.

[butterfly]

I know it is hard in jamaica, i have been traveling there for years. The economy effects almost everyone. To treat myself i save and travel to jamaica every year. I don't know why i keep attracting people who think i am an atm. I don't do anything to give people that impression. I recently became reaquainted with a friend. He immediately became my designated driver. I let him know i was interested in friendship only, i'm not looking for a man, i have one in the states. We traveled to ocho rios, st. Anns bay, roaring river etc. It was great. We got along fine he became my party partner sometimes. I confided in him that all the other people i've met who pretend to be my friend eventually showed me that they had ulterior motives. I also let him know i come from a big jamaican community in usa, and know a lot about the culture, dialect, music, cons and schemes in jamaica, my man at home in usa is jamaican. My old acquaintances in jamaica were interested in what they can get and i never deal with them again. I learned to hang out alone and enjoy it. He reassured me that he was nothing like that. When i returned home we kept in touch, and i thought that i finally met someone who i can maintain a friendship with. Eventually, he asked me to send him credit for his phone. I told him no, i don't have any money. After that he stopped calling, so when i called him he always complain about how hard it is in jamaica, blah blah blah i told him it is hard in usa also. I figured he we go again, with the sob story. I stopped calling because i don't want to hear all the whining because i know where it will lead. He must've found credit because he called me and asked me if he could borrow $150 us. I got so upset and let him know that i'm no fool borrow mean give. They are not giving money away in the usa, i have to work for it. My question to the negril message board is, would you continue to use this friend as a taxi driver/hang out partner or leave them alone. He had good vibes and i know people fall on hard times but i am fed up with the begging.

[COtoJA]

I'm very new to the board, but what you write about is not anything new. I have had the same type of 'friends', also. As a matter of fact, just last year, I had one do practically the same thing. She wasn't Jamaican, but was upon hard times. The only difference between your friend and my friend is where they lived. In other words, it's a human issue, not a Jamaican issue. It occurs everywhere. Move on and find another driver/hang out partner.

[Lapurr]

This is such a tough one and it's hard to blame anyone for trying or asking, But I know that as a tourist I am guilty of giving and sometimes too much if there is such a thing! I bring a few gifts for selected people and then usually give those away to someone else. I do it out of the goodness of my heart, and these gifts are not crazy expensive, but little gifts like perfume, candy, costume jewelery, and fun things for the kid's- kites, barbies, dolls, toys!
One time I met a nice family, bought a watermelon for them and I really enjoyed the visit, The next time I returned I was asked if I brought them cologne or perfume, and all I ever brought them was a giant melon. I did'nt feel comfortable going back, so I havent.
I think you should talk to your friend, and tell him you are not made out of money and in our society we do give we give alot and will continue to do so when it comes to Natural disasters we help people when we can, But for a grown man that has made it thus far should continue to have faith in his abilities to survive..even through the struggles.

[Seveen]

just talked about this today on facebook

i have no friends in jamaica - every friend i ever met has called for money or "stuff" and even a couple of boardies on over-extended visits

i am now a tourist

i enjoy talking to people and will treat folks to a drink or meal

but ain't nobody getting my phone number in the states

one of the reasons i like staying at the barbbarn is there are usually folks from "town" (kingston) and it's nice to talk with folks that have jobs and are living the same as i do

[Highlander]

I don't think I,d use the word beg, but I totally have the same (problem) My Taxi friend, known him for about 4 or 5yrs now. This trip we had decided not to call him as he was calling me at home in the U.S. and asking if I could help with some of his expenses on HIS TAXI. Because of our really bad times at home we had not been on any vacation in 2yrs. So needless to say we needed a trip to our Negril. After all the expense and hassle of even getting away. We finally got there in August, instantly saw that the people of Negril were on hard times. The Taxi driver I had chosen from Negril.com (to pick up from Airport ) Was too pushy for my likes. So I would not use him again!! Other drivers we used in Town were the same. So after being in Town for 7 Day,s, (I finally called him ) We did our usual trips for 3 Day,s also he drove us too the Airport. We talked on the road many times, I told him things had been hard in the U.S. And that was why we had not been there on vacation.I was back home 2 Day,s (got a call from him asking to help him out $ ) Phew! what do you say!!! when is No enough..

[Rob]

Most Jamaicans will never beg you for anything. They dont want to feel obligated to anyone and want to make it on their own. So the question "why do Jamaicans..." is not even an appropriate question. It is not fair to paint an entire country with a single brushstroke. A better way to think about it would be why is this guy you know begging you for $150?

There have been a few threads on the board recently talking about similar issues. I made a reply on a thread recently and Smith chimed in to add some details. Here is my quote with Smith's comments:

My quote: "creating expectations by throwing money around to the point that one is perceived to be "buying" friends"

Smith's reply: "THIS is a BIG problem..!!..
....and *probably* one-reason why we-tourist/foreigners have such a hard-time in Jamaica

on my very-FIRST trip/visit to the country-side,
many many many MANY years ago,
my now-landlord told me:::::>> "..Bill,,the people up in-country are very poor,,, BUT DO NOT give NOBODY nothing .... especially money.."

ONCE upon another time,
my landlord came to me,
wanted me to *help* & advise a fellow-foreigner-guy, who had recently come-to the area.

the forieigner was having *problems* adjusting

i saw the guy
watched him & how he moved around & dealt with folks

* sigh *

he was spending money like he was DonaldTrump
...buying rounds at the bar
...always reaching in his pocket for $$$$$ to pass-out

it always puzzled me,
as to why some-folks feel that $$$$ is the way to deal with everything"


So, you ask why you keep attracting people who think you are an ATM... lets look at the facts logically. You have enough money to purchase a plane ticket. You have enough money to stay in Jamaica for extended visits. You have money to pay this driver for his services to transport you around the island. Although you may have been saying you are not rich, maybe the impression you were leaving him with was that you had so much excess money that you could spend it partying and touring the island. In simple terms, maybe you were giving off the impression of "being an ATM".

Please note, I did not use the word "friend" regarding your driver because the obvious tourist vs. driver relationship that you were having with him, he being your designated driver and you both went all over the island and partied together. That is one of the services most drivers perform, to confuse a business relationship with a friendship may help explain why you feel the way you do.

The fact you "confided" in him can also create a "she wont mind if I ask" kind of a thought process on his part. He was your shoulder to cry on so to speak, so he may feel well within his rights to ask you for some money. And while we all know they dont hand out money in the USA and you have to work for it - would you be able to travel on the Jamaican minimum wage of less than us$100 a week? Here is an exact quote from the Gleaner about the increase in the minimum wage this year "The increases, which take effect on February 28, will see the minimum wage moving from $4,070 to $4,500 for a 40-hour work week." So for 40 hours you earn right about us$50. Would you work 40 hours for $50us? Maybe you understand why some may see you as "an ATM" at times. $150 is three weeks of labour. And please remember how much you spent when you both were out partying...

So to answer your last question, should "you continue to use this friend as a taxi driver/hang out partner or leave them alone", the answer would be to stop considering this driver you hire as a friend, but a person you pay to drive you around and to act as your companion/bodyguard/party acquaintance while on the island. You do like his vibe so why mess with a good thing?

I have many Jamaican friends now that I have been living here as long as I have, but as anywhere, relationships go through many phases and can take years to develop....

[irie always]

You know the saying - give an inch and they'll take a mile -
most people won't take advantage of your good nature but every now and then someone is going to try.
In some cases it works to their favor and so why not try it again with you or someone else. Can happen anywhere. I say give the benefit of the doubt, if your asked the first time and if you refuse but are still asked again - then you make yourself clear and if need be - end the "friendship".

[captaind]

I was going to respond to the original post but I think Rob has said all I would have.

After 10 or 20 years you'll know who your friends are.....until then you pay for services and and if you're lucky and honest you'll wind up with friends.

[Island Girl]

Why? As the saying goes, they have nothing to lose...

Thoughtful post, Rob.

IRIE! *IG

[ed kennedy]

Perhaps my only real friend in Negril once told me.....EVERYONE in Negril is ALWAYS working......he is the only guy who I have never felt was trying to create an opportunity.....