Home | Search Negril | Negril Map | Videos | Forum | Negril Calendar of Events | Where To Stay | Transportation | Restaurants | Things To Do

Page 1 of 17 12345611 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 168

Thread: Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

  1. #1
    Member

    User Info Menu

    Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

    Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

    Prologue
    Summer 2010


    This is a made up story. Even if this really did happened exactly as i say, I have some short (and long) term memory issues that would make the authenticity of this version of events dubious at best. (Thats a disclaimer to protect the guilty and allow you to hopefully overlook some of my shortcomings)

    No relation to Mr. X from old board and 2009 Trip Report. I am older (about a year), better looking (my story), better shape (slightly) and smarter (at least about Negril). Same wife.

    Since this already happened (or not) if I am wondering aloud what I should eat or where I should stay. These are more rhetorical questions therefore advise though nice not exactly helpful NOW! Pointing out that I am a typical loud obnoxious American is not helpful either and wrong (well at least the typical part and hopefully not the obnoxious).

    As far as the wanton slaughter of poor animals for my digestive pleasure? It’s defiantly upsetting but at the time the animals had already been sacrificed. I know it is a lame excuse but I was on vacation, hungry and well damn they tasted so good.

    After trip to Jamaica last year (2009) over Labor Day Week (US holiday in early September for you foreigners) I decided we don’t always have to go to Jamaica on vacation, at least once a year will be fine with me. This year Wifey has already been to Miami (expensive) with high school girlfriends, Mexico (inexpensive) with her family and we went to friends’ beach house (free except for gas) over Memorial Day. So hard but not impossible for her to grant my One Request in Life.

    WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO TO NEGRIL WE HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING THERE?
    (She is still yelling and this does not mean she does not want to go just wants me to justify)
    Except for last year we have not been there in 13 years and we stayed in an All Inclusive (AI) at the far end of Negril so we did not see that much. And as Marko says Bloody Bay is in the middle of nowhere.
    WHO’S MARKO?
    Somebody who knows and it is not important. Remember how much fun we had last year?

    I DON’T THINK THE FOOD IS THAT ALL THAT GREAT IN JAMAICA!
    Honey we went over this. Last year we stayed in an AI and had buffet meals for a week. It is like if someone flew to visit the USA stayed in a Hotel in Cleveland and had buffet food for a week and then flew home to their country and said the food in the US of A sucks! Does not mean it does or does not suck. It is just not a fair sampling of food to indict an entire country and all its food based on eating at one place. Every meal we ate outside the AI you loved. So this time you will get a variety of places to eat and then you can be food critic for a whole country or at least for Negril. Fair enough?

    Been checking flights at least weekly for a year mostly for reference purposes and to “keep hope alive”. Delta Airlines direct from Atlanta (ATL). Early flight leaves at 10am lands Montego Bay (MBJ) at 12pm (3 hour flight gain 1 hour going this time of year). Best for us Saturday to Saturday especially holiday week. Slow at work any holiday week. $409 each best fare and mostly had this fare for last 6 months.

    Of course I dream of the days (20 years ago) when fares were $250. All in all $409 is not horrible price it is just the actual paying part. Last year (2009) when I tried to book direct from Delta 3 weeks before Labor Day it was $600 each and felt fortunate to pay $450 each indirectly thru Bookit.com. Getting closer hoping maybe it will go down. Little trouble in Kingston. Continued broke ass in Atlanta.

    Maybe will not happen this year. Truth is it has been that kind of year. Bummer. So much for the yearly tradition of going to Jamaica for Labor Day Week. Hope fades … fares start going down … what $325 wow … if I had the money I would book it for 2 today! Changing every day for 2 weeks going up to $479 down to $325. Big difference with 2 tickets that’s a $300 savings.

    July 29th, 2010 – Thursday morning
    Wife said her sister and husband always wanted to go to Jamaica with us could you check rates.
    Delta Airlines Low fare is 2nd flight that leaves at 12noon and gets to MoBay at 2pm.
    $239 … Holy Moses … $239 must be something wrong with computer … figure flights from Boston so they could be on exact flights as us with plenty of time to make connections for them. $299 for them round trip from Boston. Wow. Wow. Wow.

    Story I get is BROTHER-IN-LAW DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE NEW ENGLAND IN SEPTEMBER. I don’t even get on the phone. Good luck with that. They live on the beach. He is a doctor from NYC. Never been to Jamaica. Once you go you know. He is regular smart and street smart (rare combo) so he is not going to have no problems in Jamaica. Trust me of all the people in the world he would get it. Sorry to hear that.

    Baby listen the rates have not been this low since well since I have been old enough to go to Jamaica. $479 TOTAL for 2 tickets on the flights we want … well maybe 2 hours later going but almost half of what we figured to pay. Round trip was actually $140. That’s $70 dollars each way from Atlanta, Georgia USA to Montego Bay, Jamaica West Freaking Indies. With taxes and fees of $99 totals $239. Unbelievable.

    We are not talking crappy Spirit Airlines (charging for carry on bs) with layovers in Fort Lauderdale on mid-week bad time of day travel. Direct on Delta Airlines from the ATL to the MBJ. Saturday to Saturday. Sweet!!! I heard sometimes prices are set on midnight Wednesday (or midnight Tuesday). Don’t know about that but I got these on a Thursday morning and within hours price was back up to $325 each. Fortunately for us the trigger was pulled and we are going to Jamaica in 2010.

    38 days till September 4th, 2010.
    Got to start exercising.
    P38X?
    People always write in to board. Why you got to get in shape before vacation? Why you got to diet? Lots of answers for me. Don’t know exact one but here is a start. I am going to be running around in my bathing suit without a shirt on all week eating and drinking like a pig and jumping off cliffs into the ocean while my wife is going to be snapping a million party pics. I hate party pics. I beg her not to do it but she is going to do it anyway. Beautiful scenery all around and you want posed fake smile? I am not going to pose so she is going to take shots of me anyway. Damn.

    Another possible reason if you cannot climb out of water on rusty uneven ladders then you cannot play in the big boy end of ocean. Best for me to try to get in better shape so my fat ass don’t drown. Long list. Not saying I am going to be in better shape just saying it’s a goal.

    Lack of funds is going to be an issue. Ok so luxurious vacation is out (lol was not really an option). Don’t want to stay at an All Inclusive (AI) for too many reasons. We will see what happens in next few weeks. Back in vacation mode looking stuff up. Instead of all this general info I have been collecting now I got exact dates when we will be in Jamaica so I got to figure out everything from hotels, food, drinks, tours, budget, and transportation everything. Me like that.

    As a Refresher here is a link to my 2009 Trip Report – Which of course is the real Prologue to this story. Just click on link and go to start (Archive through August 30th, 2010)

    http://www.negril.com/discus/message...263#POST441504

    Prologue
    Chapter 1 – Big Movie Star
    Chapter 2 – Why Jamaica
    Chapter 3 – Why Negril
    Chapter 4 – Negril.com
    Chapter 5 - Hotels
    Chapter 6 - Budget
    Chapter 7 – Snorkeling and Floating
    Chapter 8 – My First Trip to Negril
    Chapter 9 – Cliff Jumping
    Chapter 10 - Souvenirs
    Chapter 11 - Airfare
    Chapter 12 – Company is Coming
    Chapter 13 – Final Week
    Chapter 14 – Plane Ride
    Chapter 15 – MBJ Airport
    Chapter 16 – Ride to Negril
    Chapter 17 – Mr. Bigga
    Chapter 18 – Seastar Inn and Saturday webcast party
    Chapter 19 – am at Seastar Inn
    Chapter 20 – Bourbon Beach
    Chapter 21 – LTU Pub
    Chapter 22 – Catcha and the Walk Home
    Chapter 23 – 2nd am at Seastar Inn
    Chapter 24 – Review of Seastar Inn
    Chapter 25 – BarBBarn
    Chapter 26 – Red Dragoon
    Chapter 27 – afternoon at BarBBarn
    Chapter 28 – Dinner at Jamaica Tamboo
    Chapter 29 – Show at Bourbon Beach
    Chapter 30 – am at BarBBarn
    Chapter 31 – Review of BarBBarn
    Chapter 32 – Catcha Fallin Star
    Chapter 33 – Field Tour
    Chapter 34 – Driving around Red Ground
    Chapter 35 – Xtabi
    Chapter 36 – afternoon at Catcha
    Chapter 37 – sunset at Catcha
    Chapter 38 – dinner at Catcha
    Chapter 39 – later at Catcha
    Chapter 40 – am at Catcha
    Chapter 41 – Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 42 – Idle Awhile
    Chapter 43 – Coco La Palm
    Chapter 44 – Canoe
    Chapter 45 – afternoon at Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 46 – trip to L& M
    Chapter 47 – 2nd trip to L&M
    Chapter 48 – Ciao Jamaica
    Chapter 49 – Later at the Castle
    Chapter 50 – 1st morning at the Castle
    Chapter 51 – Later 1st morning at the Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 52 – Even later 1st morning at the Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 53 – Famous Vincent and the Sunset Cruise
    Chapter 54 – Review of Famous Vincent
    Chapter 55 – 2nd Night at the Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 56 – 2nd Morning at the Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 57 – Ant Story
    Chapter 58 – Review of Blue Cave Castle
    Chapter 59 –
    Chapter 60 -
    Chapter 61 -
    Chapter 62 -
    Chapter 63 -
    Chapter 64 -
    Chapter 65 -
    Chapter 66 -
    Chapter 67 -
    Chapter 68 -
    Chapter 69 -
    Chapter 70 - The End




    Last edited by Mr. X; 03-27-2012 at 10:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Member

    User Info Menu

    I enjoyed reading that - thanks Mr X - enjoy

  3. #3
    Member

    User Info Menu

    Thanks for that link, Mr. X....I enjoyed re-reading your last trip report almost as much as I enjoyed reading it when you wrote it! You are such a fabulous writer!....full of humor & wit....really looking forward to the next exerpt, embellished or not!! Go Mr. X!!!

  4. #4
    Member

    User Info Menu

    you gotta love those 'please disregard those last few messages' messages lol...
    "I beseech thee, my lord , let this venture be mine..."

    -Sir Gawain

  5. #5
    Member

    User Info Menu

    Thanks Mr.X.. Enjoy reading your report and re-reading last years..Looking forward to more, I also love your writing style and wit!
    "Live for today as tomorrow is not promised" Live....Love....Laugh....

  6. #6
    Member

    User Info Menu

    Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations



    Chapter 1 - Big Movie Star
    Spring 2011 (flash forward)


    I am ticked off. Don’t want to take things out of context (or order) but …

    It’s early April of 2011. Not April 1st but I am not really sure exact date. Wife is running late as usual and I get stuck taking her to work. Promising she will get ride home. I am busy. Lunch time comes and she cannot get ride so I got to go thru traffic and get her. Damn. I am in bad mood and don’t need to be wasting another hour minimum. Soon as I pick her up she is in bad mood and says we have to stop at the PetSmart. She promised me before I came to get her specifically no stops. I asked specifically. No stops. Every stop with her takes forever. Of course we have to stop at PetSmart we got 5 pets we have to stop at the PetSmart every freaking day. I am ticked off and whip her car into PetSmart parking lot.

    As I am pulling in a woman/girl in casual clothes is walking across in front of the car so I got to stop not quite to front entrance. She is followed by 2 young kids and then a guy in a warm up suit. I saw him from the side only as he approached and he did not turn his head but slightly towards me. I am 100% sure it is him. Wifey climbs out of car pointing out more of my shortcomings. She usually makes me pull her up another 20 feet so she can be exactly in front of the main entry doors. This time she decides not to wait and jumps out. I am more ticked off. Whatever. Hop out here and as a parting gesture I said “Hurry up and don’t hit on that guy.” She ignored (later claimed did not hear me) per usual.

    Now I got dilemma. I could park and go in and see the Big Movie Star. Frankly I am still too mad at my wife and besides it’s not like his wife the other Big Movie Star was with him. That obviously is the nanny or somebody else. Maybe if his wife and DEFINITELY if his old girlfriend (J Lo) was with him, I am parking the car and coming in the PetSmart. Just to see if my wife or ANYBODY else needs help or ANYTHING. I like the guy fine. Just don’t care about him. Got my own problems today that running into a Big Movie Star not going make no differences for me. Besides I am ticked off.


    So I shoot thru parking lot drive a couple blocks and pop in Trader Joes to get a few food items knowing she always takes forever to go in a store and come out. Throw in a Big Movie Star and his 2 kids and puppies and kittens. I got plenty of time. I get to cashier at Trader Joes with my 4 items and then realize my wallet is in my car and I drove her car. Don’t even have cash. Damn. That kind of day. Never mind I say and leave everything. Go out to car. She is blowing up my phone. Where are you? Where are you!! I answer be right there. She is still yelling at me on the phone when I pull up in the car. She jumps in.

    I am just a little curious how she is going to play this.
    (Her) Where was I?
    (Me) Told you on the phone I went to Traders Joes!
    (Her) You didn’t go to Trader Joes.
    (Me) Yes I did go to Trader Joes.
    (Her) How come you got no bags in the car from Trader Joes?
    (Me) BECAUSE MY FREAKING WALLET IS IN MY CAR!
    (Her) What did you do?
    (Me) What do you mean I was in line I just put the stuff down and walked out like a moron.
    (Her) Kinda dumb to not have ur wallet.
    (Me) Kinda dumber to not be able to get up slightly earlier say 5 minutes so you can put gas in ur car and not cause me to waste 2 hours or more of my day and all this aggravation!
    (Her) Whatever.
    (Me) Whatever urself.

    (Her) Guess who was in the line in front of me at PetSmart?
    (Me) Hmm I don’t know let me guess “Ben *****ing Affleck”.
    (Her) HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLE KNOW THAT!!
    (Me) If I had not stopped ur car I would have run over his kids when we pulled in the PetSmart parking lot.
    (Her) HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS HIM?
    (Me) Well I know his wife has been here filming a movie and he has been around. He did not turn much but I knew it was him. He is a handsome man.
    (Her) WHAT ARE YOU GAY?
    (Me) Because I can notice Ben Affleck is a handsome man that makes me gay? Don’t seem like a very high hurdle to be gay. Anyhow I could tell he was no regular guy. He was wearing a warm up suit or whatever he looked tall and built. Unshaven but like groomed unshaven. Acting like he is not paying attention trust me he was aware of his surroundings. By the way that does not make me gay (not that there is anything wrong with being gay) just observant.

    (Her) WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
    (Me) Um I DID remember when you got out of the car all mad I said “hurry up and don’t hit on that guy”. What did you want me to do? Shout “Look honey its Ben Affleck right in front of you”. You know I am not like that. Would not have said anything except I was really ticked off at you. Anyhow what happened in PetSmart?

    (Her) I don’t notice anything. I just got the stuff I needed fast because you said you were waiting on me and went to the counter to check out and there was Ben Affleck and his 2 kids (she knew their names) and the nanny.
    (Me) How did YOU know it was him?
    (Her) Whole family is on Entertainment Tonight or in People Magazine every week. His picture was probably looking back at him from the magizine rack. Anyway the girl cashier is ringing him up and then all of a sudden she starts acting all goofy and smiling. “I know you” “I know you” Big smile. “Where do I know you from?” Bigger smile.
    (Me) What did he say?
    (Her) Nothing really. Then she asked him what his name was?
    (Me) What did he say?
    (Her) He said “Ben” real slow. Just “Ben”. But he like stretched out his name “Been”.
    (Can’t help it that made me bust out laughing. Mr. Big Movie Star. How many times he has to do that in his day or in his life? Hey I know you quickly followed by what’s ur name? No Ben Affleck or BEN AFFLECK or BEN AFFLECK YOU IDIOT or anything just real slow and slightly Southern despite him being from up North. He just says “B e e n”. Too funny. Like Jethro on Beverly Hillbillies just saying “Beeen.” Still makes me laugh.)

    (Me) So what happened after that?
    (Her) Nothing really. They left, girl rings me up. All the other employees are gathering around talking. She is in mild shock acting like she saw a UFO in the PetSmart. I walk out and YOU are not here waiting on me.
    (Me) So you had to stand in front of PetSmart waiting 2 minutes for me?
    (Her) YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE WAITING ON ME!
    (Me) Did you try to hitch a ride with “Beeen”?
    (Her) They were gone I think.
    (Me) What do big Movie Stars drive?
    (Her) Don’t know maybe saw a Range Rover or something.

    (Me) Did he hit on you or try to get ur number?

    (Her) What’s wrong with you he is married to a Movie Star and has 2 beautiful children!

    (Me) So he did not even notice you?

    (Her) O HE DEFINITELY CHECKED ME OUT!
    (Me laughing now)

    (Me) Don’t sound like it to me.
    (Me laughing harder)

    (Her) WHATS HE SUPPOSE TO DO ASK ME FOR MY PHONE NUMBER IN LINE AT PETSMART WITH HIS KIDS AND HIS NANNY AND THE NATIONAL ENQUIER MAGIZINE STAREING UP AT HIM?

    (Me) Bet you would have given it to him if he asked!
    (Her) Damn right I would have given Ben Affleck my phone number then invite him and Jennifer to go to … blah blah blah … whole way home I got to hear about tour of Atlanta we are going to take the Affleck/Gardner family ...blah blah blah … and then maybe they would want to go to Negril with us this year... blah blah blah




    Delusional is the only word that pops into my mind.


    Welcome to my world.



    Maybe I am sometimes a bit of a pessimist but I would not put the chances of us showing up with 2 Movie Stars in Negril, Jamaica in 2011 very high. In fact we will be lucky for US to get to Negril in 2011. Yet after our 2010 Trip to Jamaica all I can say is I guess ANYTHING is possible …

    So if you see Mr. and Mrs. X with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Gardner in Negril this year (2011) please try to act cool knowing I probably got my hands full.

    Ok so what has this 2011 Ben Affleck sighting got to do really with Jamaica or Negril?
    Valid question. I guess you are assuming we as a group don’t make it to the rock together? Well yes we are assuming you will not be bringing 2 Movie Stars to Negril this year.

    First off you are only at Chapter 1.
    Maybe wait to see what happens in the next 60 or so Chapters?

    Maybe just celebrity name dropping to suck in readers?
    Appeal to the masses?
    Of course but writing a “book” for a few people who travel to a small specific vacation destination does not really seem for the masses or frankly smart. Touché. I guess par for my course. Some days I guess I have to remind myself I am (or was) alive.

    Maybe give you more insight into what we are really like. No sugarcoating lets even call it say unvarnished truth. We are definitely more Lucy/Ricky Ricardo than June/Ward Cleaver. Too young to get that? Crazy sh*t is going to happen and we are going to yell at each other a lot. Try not to let it freak you out.

    Final stab at 2011 Ben Affleck Seagueway to my 2010 Trip Report.
    Like Pearl Harbor (the movie starring Ben Affleck not the real event) this 2010 Trip Report is going to have a long build up before we get to the actual “action”. Frankly I thought the sappy melodramatic love triangle in the first half of the movie Pearl Harbor was so bad that I as a lifelong Patriotic American begged the Japanese to bomb them. PLEASE LET THE ATTACK START I CAN NOT TAKE IT!!! Once the action started it was a pretty good movie. So here is to hoping the start of this long 2010 Trip Report does not suck like the start of Pearl Harbor (the Movie) because I promise when the action starts (landing) it is going to be “lively”.
    Last edited by Mr. X; 01-23-2012 at 08:48 AM.

  7. #7
    Member

    User Info Menu

    Wow. That's it... just wow.

  8. #8
    Member

    User Info Menu

    I just love it.

  9. #9
    Member

    User Info Menu

    I can relate to everything but the part about seeing a movie star :-)

  10. #10
    Member

    User Info Menu

    So glad you're back! Can't wait to hear about your "lively" time in Negril...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •