The good people on this board often ask what they can bring down for some of the more needy people in and around Negril, and lots of people do that. Great. But there’s a serious shortage that has recently come to my attention; and it’s one that you are probably not aware of. This shortage is acute and it affects just one segment of the population here; young men.
But what is this shortage?
Belts.
Don’t laugh. The young men of Negril are having problems keeping their pants up. There are asses hanging out all over the place.
So if you have some spare belts in your closet, and who doesn’t? Bring them down, and pass them around. Size 28 thru 30 would be about right.
Nuf said.
Every time we walk through the Cambio/Value Master plaza there is a change guy that calls out, “HEY! . . Change, buddy?”
Same dude, every time, like clockwork. “HEY! . . Change, buddy?”
He’s probably asked me at least forty or fifty times by now. I always say, “No.” Or I just shake my head. Sometimes I just flat out ignore him. But I’ll tell yah what, it’s startin’ to wear on me.
Usually he’s sitting on a curb with a bunch of other change guys or taxi drivers, so he just shouts out. But today he was close enough that he approached me and stepped right up beside me.
“Change, Buddy? Good rate, one hundred five.”
“That is a good rate,” I said. “So I give you one hundred Canadian and you give me ten thousand five hundred Jamaican?”
“Oh . . . ninety-seven for Canadian.”
“Oh, so you assumed I was American?”
He just shrugged his shoulders, “Ninety-seven for Canadian,” he said again.
I never deal with the change guys, but a couple of years ago, for some odd reason, I succumbed to one of their solicitations and entered into a transaction with him. Of course, he tried to short-change me with the razzle-dazzle money shuffle, but I picked up on it and backed out of the deal at the last minute. I know there are some change guys that are legit, but I think most of the ones that approach you on the street are shysters and hustlers.
So, I wasn’t about to go for the ‘ninety-seven for Canadian’ that I’d just been offered. But I thought I’d have a go at stopping the change guy from shouting at me every time that I passed. So I said to him, “Listen, I never deal with change guys, nothing personal, I just don’t. So, I’m gonna save you some time. Take a good look at me,” I pointed to my face.
“Yeah,” he said.
“I am never, ever, going to change money with you. Never. So the next time you see my face, you can save yourself some time and just don’t bother asking.”
Sounds harsh, but I said it as nicely as I could.
“OK,” he said, and walked away.
Next time I passed him he looked me right in the face and said, “HEY! . . Change, buddy?”
This sign was posted on New Year's morning. Just in case you need an early break from reality.
This is where Jango works, now that he's been unchained. Smith's barber shop.
I love this notice - come and learn bar tending - at the Catholic Church.
This is put up by a gym - workout - then get shyte-faced on jello shots. I'm thinking of going.
