I don’t smoke. My cousin and I went out of total curiosity. We didn’t know what to expect nor did we ask any questions. Had a couple of red stripes and chatted as we traveled the beautiful scenic route to our destination. The drive was about 20 minutes.

Finally arrived. Met the “farmer”. Very handsome man just about to exit his 20’s. He found us to be “safe” so we were allowed to “tour” his plantation. The fee was $20 but would have been free if we were purchasing.

It was a twenty minute walk through deep bush. Passing livestock. Carefully stepping where he stepped to avoid traps and pits. Easing this large frame of mine through webs of barbed wire made getting scratched up unavoidable.

This particular owner farmed about an acre and the crop was bountiful.

We stood in the midst of thick, green stalks taller than me. I’m 5ft 4. He patiently showed us how they start out. Pointing to seedlings just sprouting in individual cups lined on a long wooden table. Then transported to plots nestled inside the circular enclosure of old truck tires. He spoke about the different “strains” and “potencies”. I got to stretch out my arms and hold a weighty “cluster of buds”, according to him, street value of about $27,000US

I was allowed to take all the pictures I wanted of the product and of him.

On the way back to the taxi, he told me why he chose this business, the dangers involved and the extreme measures he takes to protect himself from other “farmers” and the law. That conversation should have been enough for me to remove touring a plantation from my “list of things to do while in Jamaica.” But it wasn’t.

The second, and last, experience was completely different. This time, another driver I knew reasonably well, promised me I would be “impressed”…and protected so I went. The owner, handsome, mid 40’s and mean. He only let me stay and “tour” because the taxi driver was his cousin and one of his most profitable salesman. I was forbidden to take pictures of anything especially the young men standing guard, clutching their own personal M16.

This owner has his product secured over many acres. Impressed??? Hell, I was too scared to be impressed. My first “tour” was like walking through a well maintained garden. This was straight out of a dark gansta movie. That’s all I can share about that experience.

Yeah, those videos of endless smoke will get you hyped for true, but what you don’t see is the security they have at their back or the money they paid to be there. But I learned from experience not to take these “plantation tours” lightly. It’s a serious industry there.

Sure…as mentioned, some of the local distributors/hustlers will lead you to believe that they will take you on a tour of a real field, instead you might end up looking in disbelief at a tiny patch or some stalks growing out of clay pots sitting in their grandmothers back yard. Yet you’ll be charged plenty and maybe forced to buy their low grade trash. However, the likelihood of finding yourself face to face with heart-pounding danger is also present.

Again, and this is the key, unless you KNOW the hook-up and/or the recommendation are on the real, you are taking a big chance of being disappointed, robbed, hurt or killed.

Since this is your first visit, I suggest you get to know as much as you can about the runnings as you puff a spliff from the safety of a lounger or bar stool. Then if or when you return to Jamaica and are still interested in touring a plantation you’ll be a little more knowledgeable about setting it up.