Me & the Daughter for last Jamaican trip

[Melissa York]

Hi all!

This is kinda hard to write but what the hell, I'm just gonna throw it on out there and hope maybe my experience will help someone else, or give encouragement!

A few years ago I had cancer, and before I kicked the bucket I wanted to show my daughter Jamaica - well I brought her for a couple weeks and it was the most awesome experience of both our lives! She fell in love with it just like me, and from the moment she stepped into the country you'd have thought she was a local, she was very relaxed, very cool & just seemed to fit right into the culture immediately!

So, I actually recovered from that cancer bout, YAY! The next time I was afraid cancer was rearing it's head I travelled alone, stayed on the West End at a private home of a friend of mine who bought a place there to retire, and had a BLAST at her cabins! So relaxing! Yup, Jamaica is my second home, and the place I run to, when I have troubles

OK ya'll, here's the hard part. I have the Cancer again. This time, it's the last time. They've done all they could do. I am lucky enough to live in Texas, so a few hours drive and I was going to MD Anderson, the premier cancer people out there. I had two surgeries, they removed and replaced my esophagus, so I can no longer speak at all. They gave me a device to hold up to my neck to "talk", but I have had so much neck swelling that it doesn't really work, the swelling is there to stay permanently. So I carry little note pads and write a lot of notes, LOL! Cell phone is great cause I can text message, and I practically LIVE on Twitter, LOL! Actually things were going pretty good till a few months ago, the CT scan showed the cancer was back. Well, not really a surprise cause we knew I had a VERY aggressive form of this cancer. The tumor this time is right up on the caratoid artery, and there is not a dang thing they can do at this point, they've done all they could do.

But, the good news is, with Chemo I can "prolong" life. Not cure, but prolong. I do it about once a week & it's a very mild form of Chemo so normally I can do it with hardly any ill effects! Now here's a little miracle. I just had a CT Scan and it showed that the tumor had NOT gotten any bigger! OMG! So the Chemo is working way better than we imagined. The doctors had given me about 12 months life expectancy, I ended up having to go ahead and stop working because I've gotten pretty weak and wonky, but the good news is, with 17 years at the same company I had a pretty good pension fund built up, which we now live on. AND here's a neat one.... through the company life insurance with Hartford, they had something called an Accellerated Death Benefit, which if you have a terminal disease you can request up to 75 percent of your policy value! WOW! So I did that, and again this is in the coffers for us to live on, and to pass on to my daughter once I do finally kick the bucket.

OK all this being said, I actually have a great attitude, I figure there is just not much else I can do, I can cry over what's gonna happen or I can instead try to enjoy every moment of this time.... I choose to enjoy! And share my story so that hopefully I can inspire or help other people along the way. That is my biggest hope, is that I'm able to help others!

Anyhow, so here I am letting people know the story and hope to help anyone and everyone I can! I'm planning on bringing the daughter probably in June, because we have the 2 grandsons and will need to wait til they are out of school, and then they can spend the time at their Dads while me & the daughter come back "home" to Negril

We'll probably stay about 10 days to 2 weeks.

Curious if anyone else out there is facing this kind of issue, how you deal with it, advice, etc. As I said, I run to Negril when I have my problems, this will make I think the 5th or 6th trip for me, I really have lost count, LOL! Unfortunately my best friend from there passed away, he was a great friend that was AWESOME when I took Sarah (the daughter), and did all the cooking for us (he was a chef). He is going to be sorely missed when we come, but he did manage to teach me a few things so I'm a pretty fair Jamaican cook with the spices now too, LOL! My daughter has medical issues too, and he was making her and I some tea from Soursop that helped us SO much, it was awesome! And people were tickled cause we'd go forage for our food, we liked to get out early and spot us some Ackee growing - even if we found nothing, we'd meet all kinds of neat people along the way that were tickled that we were out there foraging, hee hee! My friend would get us some shrimp & fish fresh & cook it up, and our veggies from the store or the veggie truck.

Ah, memories! Can't wait to get back!

Who all else might be there in June that we could hook up with? I am about 57 yrs old, the daughter in her 30's. We are kinda low key, not into partying, but would like maybe a night at Sea Star buffet or something like that.... that singer Steven over there is AWESOME and we'd love to see him for sure!

My name is Melissa, I used to go by 3 Little Birds way back in the day on the old Negril board

[mamade11]

Melissa - what a great attitude you have and I so wish I was going in June - would love to hang with you. I have a very dear friend that has gone through what
you did - throat cancer and she can't speak. I know the note pads We took her to Mexico with us last September and she had a great time! We are going back in April - and I would have loved to bring her but she is recovering from a surgery that will help her be able to talk again. (fingers crossed for her)
I hope your going back brings you happiness and peace. And big wishes your treatments help and you enjoy to the fullest!!!

[pine tree john]

you are truly an inspiration. such courage and passion. Jah bless, and console.

[Melissa York]

Thanks John! That is my ace number one ambition, to help others out there facing issues like this! People have helped me down this road and it's been awesome! I practically LIVE on Twitter, where I have met a tremendous amount of nice folks! It's funny cuz we post as our "cats", as if we are the actual "cat", and talk about hilarious.... people write as if the cat is writing, so you see stuff like, "Hai! I haz had mai baff and now I go nom on mai food bowlz! I haz had a gweat day, I pwayed wif my brofur and we did zoomies and bit at Mum's ankles, I am all claws and teef today MOL". The spelling is hilarious, and the videos are awesome!

[pine tree john]

[Melissa York]

Thanks so much mamade11 !!! Yup the note pads, I do a lot of writing, LOL! There is a little PEC or something thingie they can put it so people can talk, but I was not a candidate for it because my surgery was too extensive, there was not good tissue to attach the little thingie to

Gosh that would have been cool to run into someone else with the same problem as me, LOL... it's weird not being able to talk, the worst is when you need to call the insurance company or something. I have to get my daughter to do it, and it's just such a hassle. Oh, how we take for granted, that ability to just pop in a phone number and call someone, LOL!

April huh? I would love going in April. Actually I could go anytime I darn well get ready to, hee hee.... but we need to be able to park the grandsons somewhere for a week or 10 days, and with one in school & the other in home school, it'd not work out I don't think, cause the one needs his home computer for the home school and the other wouldn't have proper rides to & from school because the husband lives much farther away than us. So, looks like we have to wait til they are out of school. Would love to bring them, but finances won't stretch to that, unfortunately.

I'm also hoping my health holds out.... I have good days & bad days, so I get pretty weak, but with my daughter there it'd be no problem cause she takes such good care of me, doing almost all the cooking & stuff! And she's a GREAT cook, let me tell ya! Luckily even though I did lose down to about 95 lbs, I actually eat pretty darn good! I always lose down every time with the cancer, but normally have all kinds of eating issues, but this time no issues at all other than it's hard to swallow, but I am able to eat pretty much anything I want

[Jambarney]

God Bless You!! You said you hope to help others or inspire others? Are you kidding me?! After reading this YOU have become my HERO!!

Your words do a tremendous job in expressing a beautiful person as well as a human spirit that will not be kept down. Wow I am just blown away by this post, incredible.

I'd give anything to meet you and give you a hug, your awesome.

I don't have to tell you this but squeeze every drop you can out of each day, and enjoy your trip and family time.

God I wish I could reach thru a computer on this one. Thank you so much for your words, this will be one I print off and read for years to come.

Please take care Melissa,

Jamb

[Melissa York]

Oh thanks Jamb, your sweet words give me the weepy eyes, LOL!

And I just realized that shoot, we have cats and a bird to feed here, not sure if the daughter would be willing to leave all our "family" of pets.... I'll have to talk with her, I may yet have to do the trip by myself, darn it..... I'll just have to see what she says & see what we could work out. We have 3 cats, 2 are indoor, one is a kitten that the daughter just found in a box at the gas station about 2 weeks ago! What a little charmer! He's solid black, which we found out no one wants a black cat, which I can't understand, this IS 2014 not 1814, right? LOL! Anyways we are GLAD no one else wanted him, cuz we love the little fella! Our other cat was rescued as a kitten in a ditch, we figured someone threw her out of a car, that's the only way we could explain her being so far from any houses & such. The third cat is grown and was just abandoned, he started hanging out in our yard and we fed him & made friends! He comes inside sometimes during really bad weather and takes hisself a nap, but normally he prefers to stay outside

Then we have a Cockatiel, a few gerbils, and a couple fish. OMG.... what a menagerie, LOL!

Last time we went, we only had 1 Cat at the time & she was an outdoor cat, so all we had to do was fix up an automatic feeder dispenser, and have a neighbor look over & check it for us, and extra food for the bird & they were fine! But this time we have a freaking zoo to deal with LOL

[kaycee]

Stay strong!! You are an inspiration!

[Melissa York]

Thank you Kaycee! I am, honestly, it's just the way I am to muddle on through and do the best I can with what I can, and seems to work for me, hee hee! I really hated to quit work, OMG I loved the people I worked with, had been there 17 years so you can imagine, it was a HUGE deal to stop working. I do go up there and visit and email & text message my coworker friends quite a bit.