I DID read the whole thread. So much touched on here, good discussions going on. Interestingly enough, prior to reading this thread I was discussing some of these very same subjects with folks this week.
First - and really where this all started - friendship and what it truly means. To me, a friend, a TRUE friend is a give and take, a trust, a feeling of comfort and safety around that person and of course laughing with them in the good times and crying with them in the bad. A true friend doesn't show up to your door with their hand out all the time. I am so fortunate that the Jamaican friends I have are just that - TRUE friends. Never ask me for anything. I spent time cultivating these friendships (as one does with all friendships); it doesn't happen overnight or in a week's time. I've read so much on this subject, how folks go on vacation and make these "friends", give out their home phone numbers, shower them with gifts and cash....all after knowing them perhaps for several years but only for weeks or days out of those years. A true friend is not calling you for money for their sick auntie or asking that when you come you bring them expensive kicks. A true friend is not showing up at your condo at meal times expecting to be fed, then dissapears when the food runs out. I think visitors to Jamaica really have to get a grip on who they are be-friending. As far as "business friendships" - well....I know that my friend is also a driver I use when I'm there. He's my friend when he's my friend - when he's my driver I pay him for his services. Nothing more. He comes over for dinner occassionally - he invites me to his home for dinner occassionally. GIVE AND TAKE.
No matter who we are or what we do we as visitors are always going to be perceived as having more - if not for the simple fact that we can come and go from our home countries as we please. Bring a Jamaican visiting the US to Costco....and those perceptions are reinforced. I do believe its not just about someone observing the amount of money we spend while on vacation there but its more about the choices we have - rich or poor as US and Canadian and European residents we have MANY MORE choices than most Jamaicans have in general.
Giving out the phone numbers I never understood and friends of mine from California did that exact thing....and were very hurt by the results (feelings, not money etc.) Here's a scenario - I live in a tourist area and do have occasion to sit and have a drink with visitors from time to time or even chat with some on the street where I live. Now - imagine me asking THEM for their phone number. Do you really think they'd give it to me? Absolutely not! And here we are, in white bread America. Not once, not ever did anyone ever offer up their phone number to me saying, "give me a call if you need anything at all" or even "next time you are in Temecula, give me a ring and we'll go for a drink." Its sounds ludicrous - cause it is.
Interesting observation by Beach Bum and I appreciate his candor. I will say though that the Jamaicans I know are the furthest from lazy there is. Each and everyone is hard working and none of them - NONE - would ever ask anyone for a hand-out. They are proud, proud people.
This bears repeating - the Jamaicans I know. I don't know them all obviously. But I can see where folks not spending a lot of time in a "real" community, being bombarded with beggars or with these so-called friends asking for stuff all the time might get that impression. I truly believe this is the exception - not the rule.
I agree with Bnewb about Negril as a community. In the past ten years it has become sometimes over-the-top touristy, built-up and especially during high season, loaded with vendors and opportunists from other parts of the island. I am very fortunate to not live around that and can still hold on to the Negril I first visited in 1983 - a slower moving, less built, less touristy Negril - not to mention at times way less populated. Its all about accessibility...up until the highway was finished in MoBay Negril was still pretty darn inaccessible and it kept not only the tourist population somewhat down but also kept other folks from around the island who might want to take advantage of the rich tourists away more. The Negril of 1983, 1993, and 2000 even is a FAR different place today. This is not a good or bad thing - it just is. As someone who loves Negril and spends a significant amount of time there each year I know and accept this. It is what it is.
I too enjoyed Miss Blue's post about how folks come together in a time of difficulty. You saw it happen after Hurricane Gilbert - I saw it happen after Hurricane Ivan - heck I saw it happen after the Loma Prieta Earthquake in San Francisco in 1989. Its more pronounced on Negril's West End since its a smaller community but we all do pull together in good times and bad.
Look - my first reaction when I saw the title to this thread was "Why do Philadelphians find it so easy to beg?" I had just returned from the city of Brotherly Love and was approached by no fewer than five or six people for spare change and cigarettes every time I walked out of my hotel room door. "Why do folks from DC find it so easy to beg"? I was pan-handled at Washington Medical Center's cafeteria...I've been panhandled in some of the US and Canada's great cities....Toronto, Vancouver, New York, LA, San Francisco...the only place I was not panhandled was in Paris. And maybe there that was a fluke but I do believe poverty is universal - but what is not universal is each culture's safety net for their people.
Originally Posted by TiCtOc
