While the OP may not be PC, we all know what was meant. Was it a generalization, yes. Is it true all Jamaican's beg, no. When I read the OP I thought to myself "this sounds just like me".
I think we have all been asked for something from someone in JA. Be it people we have known for a long time or people we just met. In the last couple months this subject has been brought up on a few JA boards and it has made me re-evaulate our friendships in JA. Looking back there are only about 4-5 people in JA out of all we associate with that have never asked for anything nor do we bring anything and they still come to visit us when we are there. I am seriously looking into some of the "friendships" we have made that WE think are friendships when in fact they are just business deals. It hurts pretty bad when you have hung out with people for 4-5-6 years and WE think we are friends but then it hits that you are just another tourist and they are doing you a service in exchange for what you brought them, whether it be hanging out with you or sharing a meal.
We have a couple of friends in JA that we take gifts to on our returns. (I would do the same here if I went to visit someone I haven't seen in a long time). We don't go handing out gifts to everyone we meet. We take gifts for people we have known a few years who have treated us well and been kind. But when I return the following year and better more $$ things are expected or so and so's friend is now asking just to see what they can get, and we just met them, it makes me go "hmmmm".
I informed a few of the people we know in JA that we will be visiting a new place next trip. They seemed happy for us and said we'd love it. Only 2 said they'd miss us and 1 of the 2 said he'd be driving to see us. Those are 2 of the few that have NEVER asked for anything.
I have learned some lessons recently from these threads. I am no longer taking any gifts down just because they are asked of us. I will take and give what I can afford. If the "friends" are still around when they find out we really are not made of money, then they are friends. If they hit the road, then they only were interested in what they could get from us.
Now, as far as giving out phone numbers...there are about 5 people in JA that have our number. They got our number because a few years back after we knew (thought) we would be going to the same area, we thought it was good idea to have contacts. This was after knowing the people 2 or 3 years. It has been beneficial to some point. When we have any questions about what's going on, we call. Through these people, we have arranged contacts for places to stay, people to carry us in their cars, ect. They call us to check in every so often to make sure everything is ok. Then last year one person started calling asking for money. Sister died, car broke, "I'm broke". I won't lie...at first, we sent some money...but if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk. When it got too much, we stopped contact (just recently). His calls ave dwindled since NO has been uttered from our mouth. Now there are only about 3 people who call us every now and then to just check in. It's nice to hear from them. They say it's nice to hear our voice, they miss us. These are the same people who have never asked for anything and the same people who've told us we will love our new destination and 1 even told us "I figured you were ready for a break from
here".
Why is it some of us tourists want to make friends so quickly in JA? Why do we let our guard down when it comes to people's intentions? Why are we so trusting? Maybe it's just the way I am?
I have heard on here before, "If you wouldn't do it at home, don't do it in JA". Problem is, I am friendly at home and I do give to others at home. My husband yells at me all the time for being too nice to stangers. STRANGER DANGER he tells me. lol. So what gives?
Rob, you were right in your post that friendships take time to develope. We have to weed out the people with not so good intentions. We are in the process of that now. We may return to our beloved vacation spot in the future but it will be different. We won't have as many "friends" but the ones that remain will be good.
*cry*
I have learned so much in the last year since returning from our past (7th, *we're still noobs) trip from people sharing experiances on JA boards. This is one of the subjects that comes up and everyone (including me) at some point says "that'll never happen to me". I remember thinking "I told myself I would never let this happen" but it does and it will. You will lose friends but in the end you will know who is true. Peace all.
Originally Posted by wrtiii
