Quote Originally Posted by Lola View Post
Picking sense out of nonsense: I clicked on a cable tv show “90 Day Fiance” – Americans and their foreign boyfriend/girlfriend. For the most part I understood the perspective of the foreigners, and they were reasonable and decent people. For the most part I saw how the behavior, expectations and attitudes of the Americans caused problems in the relationships. A lot of Americans especially women, would not see it the way I’ve learned to see it.

Some folks complain “Nothing in Jamaica is what it seems.” I say, ‘Nothing in Jamaica is AS THEY SEE IT’.
Hey Lola...your post was quite thought provoking, very open and honest.
The two lines that resonate with me the most I've bolded above. I think I'd shared years ago with you about having to change my thinking very quickly when I first moved down here and particularly in the context you've described. I made a few enemies right off the hop when women were contacting me to check on their boyfriends and I refused (this was before Facebook got busy ). The 90 Day Fiance show should contact me...I have a few words and stories for them.

Unfortunately, one of the down falls for women (and men) that aren't able to survive here...is that they don't change their thinking. Some are not always able, as they've gotten into relationships that bound them into one perspective.
I've seen the same thing happen even with non romantic relationships...visitors will come down, meet a "friend" and take their word as gospel to all things Jamaican but, Jamaicans are like any other human...they all have their own opinions and beliefs about the world as they view it. Meeting people all over the island or even more than one or two families in Negril...can give someone a much more wonderfully balanced perspective about Jamaicans as a whole.
This can directly determine the success or failure of those moving here. With limited information you're setting yourself up for failure.
And, for those that really want to try living here...be gentle with yourself...give yourself some time...and be prepared to view things quite differently than you might have when coming from your own country.
By being able to change how you view things down here...you'll be able to see it from a Jamaican perspective...you'll be able to see it exactly...as it seems!

And just for the record...there's white Jamaicans also Chinese, Indian ++, all born and raised here...some famous, some not so famous. Personally...I just want to hang out with fabulous, down to earth people and have been lucky enough to surround myself with many!!