It is my final FINAL, FINAL day here no more top up of fundsinjections,
no more extensions….
no more just one moreday here, there and everywhere, the time has come , my ticket has ran out , mychildren have their final examinations waiting for them at school and we HAVEto go home….OR DO WE?
LOL
What do you think the next step would be if the FINALdecision was up to me if I did not have the childrens schooling to worry about?
There is no way on this earth ANYONE could make me go home!No way!
I would stay and just see what happens , go with the flowand only return back to England if my luck ran out, but it never has andhopefully never will!
I never thought this trip would happen this year so muchhappened this year pre trip that I just gave up on the idea even though it wastearing me up to have to miss my trip and also lose my monies already paid.
But doom and gloom soon SNAPPED into happiness andexcitement the second I printed my boarding pass, and the second we got in thetransfer van to Negril. I cannot even describe how I felt,except WELCOME HOMEonce more.Hooray thankyou Jesus
Lastnight was very strange weather it really rained hardhere for hours and hours and felt cool.It rained well after dark and thismorning felt very cold and I wondered if I was seeing things there was a foglike mist over the mountains hanging real low which lasted for nearly twohours.It was cold cloudy and rainy and it was like natures way of saying tictoctime to go home, easing me back into the weather back home the cold , thecloud, the fog the mist and rain.It is very unusual weather today it is justlike at home in England, perhaps it is better for me this way as if it was verysunny with the birds chirping and I hear one sound system I know it would makeit a lot harder for me to leave so this weather is easing me out slowly!
I really do not want to go home.My childrens education isalmost finished there, We are in January now , my girls finish around May forgood, They could attend college anywhere in the world and my son could easilysettle in to school here.My mother and father are also back home and we see myfather daily who is with us all the time so of course I have missed them butthey can easily fly out here.
I just wish I could stay but know my time is up and I haveto leave and every time I say next time will be for longer or a one way ticketbut in reality the longest I can get away is 5 or 6 weeks over july /augustwhen my children are out of school/college for summer so I will not get toexperience 3 or 6 months or 12 months it can only ever be 5 or 6 weeks until Imake a final decision to up and leave once and for all.Just grab my chance androll with it.
The worst that could ever happen to us is I would be satback in my same old chair in my same old life looking out of that same oldwindow pane watching the rain and the miserable unhappy unsociable cold peoplepassing by from time to time.I would still have a life and a roof and moneyback home.I really do not have anything to lose by just taking a chance andgoing for it as the worst that can happen is I would have to fly to England andjust go back to where my life is at now.Nothing ventured nothing gained.
My main priority is EDUCATION and certificates , degrees andpasses for my kids it seems you cannot get anywhere these days unless you havea very good natural talent or you possess all of these certificates.
So making sure they all have a good education is my numberone priority and they are all doing extremely well so far and I am very proudof them.
I also have to make sure my father is happy, he said hewould come here for good with us if we got something stable and settledarranged.
My mother hopefully would find the courage to fly out forvisits.
I don’t have any other ties at all.I have family but theywould not put their life on hold for me not at all so I cannot do that forthem.I have to look out for my own immediate family.If and when my family get agood opportunity that they have been waiting for it is not like I will beconsulted they would grab it with both hands and go and so will I!
We made breakfast in bed for my in laws this morning Isuccumbed to the drawing of tea LOL and had a cup of some chocolatey drink!
I bet my son asks for tea every morning now at home.
We had a bit of a bad sleep as the kids were playing musicalbeds lastnight all fighting for a space and saying they wanted to sleep indifferent places so everyone is feeling a little tired today.My mother in lawmade me laugh, the phone rang and she said hello and then she shouted my fatherin law, because he was not quick enough to come she said you nah come? Well Icyan bodder wit it and put the phone down LOL she said she did not know who itwas and we did not know how to recall the number LOLOL
Our nephew came lastnight after school to say our goodbyesit was sad he cooked up a mean chicken though it was lovely and my girls wereassistant chefs.
The phone has been ringing today, different family fromEngland checking on arrangements saying hi people saying bye its so sad.I donot want to leave.
My dreams lastnight were surreal can a dream even be surrealor is it surreal anyway?
Lol
My dreams were of every single song since I got here , bassspeakers musicians, boardies faces, musical instruments , family time, beachtime, seastar time, concerts, driving, cliffs, Cliffside, chicken , rum, fun,sun, birds, animals, noises and then I woke up, It was like the whole 6 weeksflashed before me like they say it happens before death but it is not the endof my life just the end of my holiday but I sure do feel like wearing all blackand start mourning!