Rumpolephoreskin's Existential Wanderings in and Around Negril

[Rum-polephoreskin]

Inside my head I told myself she was jerking me around. I had started going out with a speech pathologist. We'd been swimming laps together for years. She was into horses and I had been too before my leg went bad. She was fairly well-off (owned two horses and a huge spread, rich folks etc.) so she was a little spoiled, maybe bratty.

One night she wasn't acting right so the next day I called Mrs. Peel on the rain check. She jumped at the chance. I was surprised. There is a little Mexican grocery store in my neighborhood that has a dining area, great food and mostly frequented by migrant laborers. I asked her to meet me there.

It was close enough to walk, so I did. I arrived casually late, fully expecting her not to be there (definitely not on time - possibly not at all). She was seated waiting for me. She got up and gave me a warm hug.

We hadn't spoken civilly to each other for over nine years at this point. I was not expecting warmth. Just meeting up was what we in this part of the country call a "flyer" -taking a wild chance. After dinner I suggested cocktails at my house. She accepted.

I was experimenting with cosmos at the time (remember those curvy bottles of cosmo mix they used to sell). I whipped her up a shaker and got myself a beer. Conversation and cosmos flowed. After three shakers she got a little wobbly, she is almost all legs.
I helped her get to the bathroom, held back her hair for her and the cosmos flowed again.

I tucked her in on the couch and went to bed. It was a work night. I wasn't surprised when I found the couch empty. She had a meeting with the head of our union that day and he called me to ask me what I'd done to her. "She had to leave to puke twice, man!"

We went out two more nights that week then she fell off the face of the planet. I was pissed. I told myself it was the same old run around. That was March, April was almost past and I hadn't heard from her at all. Still playing games I thought and I let it drop. On the last Thursday in April I got a call. It was Mrs. Peel.

She was staying in a motel that night, and had a business meeting there the next day. Did I want to come over? It was an hour drive and I told myself I was a sucker if I went. I said I was working on a project that was due the next day and I didn't think I could make it.

According to my journal entry for that night (four years ago) "she virtually begged me to come over". I played it very cool and managed to put her off until about 10PM. It took an hour to get there. All the way there I told myself "don't let her jerk you around anymore". We had a couple drinks at the bar and went up to her room. I asked her why, after so long, had she called me?

"What do you really want?"

She said," I want you."

"Why?"

She put her finger on my heart and said," Because of what's right here."

(This section is based on journal entries so I know it's an accurate description - especially the dialogue - of what passed between us.)