Paradox in Paradise

[Guirigay]

A little further up the river and we see some strange looking rock formations in the middle of the river. “The tunnels!” I’m thinking and I’m right. “There’s a tunnel under this rock,” says Dave standing on big flat piece of stone in the river maybe eight to ten feet wide, “You can swim through it.” Well, heck, I’m ready! I jump into the pool above the rock and as I do I can see light under the rock formation to the right of the pool. “Oh, I see the tunnel,” I say and Dave and Eneil laugh. “That’s the ladies tunnel,” laughs Dave, “Or Chickens!” teases Eneil. “No your tunnel is down here,” says Dave, “You can’t see it until you go under. Stay low or you’ll scrape your back.” A few deep breaths and down I go. As I drop to the bottom the darkness in front of me gives way a blurry light in the distance. I crab my way along the bottom and emerge in the pool on the far side. I come out of the water fully present in a moment I have anticipated for weeks. I am ecstatic. I turn around and whoop and completely lost in the moment let out a maniacal laugh.



Eneil gets a kick out of this and turns to Dave and says in Patois, “He’s laughing like an idiot, mon, he loves it!” They insist that I’ve done it easily, “Now you have to do it going the other way, against the current.”As I start to get my breath Eneil adds, “And through the ladies tunnel before you come up!” I take a couple of extra breaths. I get through the big tunnel and have plenty of breath left so I turn and swim through the small tunnel. As I come up this time Dave, Eneil and Sweetie Pie whoop. Dude. What. A. Time.

[Guirigay]

We walk up the river to a big pool. “This is the deepest part of the river,” says Dave,” A good swim spot.” We swim for a while and I dive with the mask. The limestone mineral water of the river has an unusual hue. Sweetie Pie gets out and chats with Dave and Eneil while I am diving. As we move on to the next spot Sweetie leans in and quietly says, “Dave and Eneil say you are a true Jamaican.” This stuns me for a second. I look at Sweetie Pie, “Really?” She smiles and nods, “Yup!” So. OK. In a week filled with the most surprising and unexpected compliments I can easily say toss the rest. Hands down winner right here. Among the best I’ve EVER received. Respect.



We come up to a ledge waterfall and you can see that under a spot there is an alcove you can go back into. Sweetie Pie has been having trouble with one of her contact lenses since the very first Jacuzzi seat and hasn’t tried everything she would like to because of this but she is going in under these falls. She likes it but almost immediately has trouble with her lense. Eneil really wants to get a nice photo here and takes several shots. There are some very funny squishy face shots of Sweetie Pie, I thought about posting them then sanity paid a brief visit. Eneil stuck in there until he got a good one.



We walk up the river again, we see a large waterfall in the distance. “This is the Washing Machine!” Dave announces. We see a large multi-course waterfall dropping into a nearly rock wall surrounded basin creating a turbulent, churning, bubbling roil of water. We make out a figure under the main fall as we approach and watch as they emerge from the behind the water veil. It is beautiful AND super cool. Sweetie Pie is concerned about her contact lense but is not passing on this opportunity. As we are under the fall we can hear yelling from beyond. We’re not exactly sure what they’re saying but we guess they’re asking for the ubiquitous thumbs up. We respond correctly.

[Guirigay]

We chill here for a while, I grab a snack and we hang with Dave. Eneil grabs a shot of us relaxing on the rocks then passes his camera to another local and dives in for a swim. We don’t see him again until we’re back at the bar and shops. Dave clambers over the falls and grabs a shot of the Washing Machine sign above the falls. What I really want is a picture of Dave taking that shot. Freaking Aqua-Gymnast! We didn’t find the walk back too bad but we had our Keens on and had been humping it at least 5 miles a day all week. Dave shows us Orchids and the touchy plant and several other things on the way back.

We are hit up by the vendors when we get back to the village. Very nice stuff but again we have to beg off, no room for your beauties. Dave has some one snap a picture of him on my iPhone while we shop in the background. We go to the bar and order some food. Has to be curry chicken after smelling that turmeric. We get Dave a beer and he and I sit down to chat. Sweetie Pie tracks Eneil down.



Dave and I talk about a lot of things but we have a very interesting talk about women, his experiences and mine. At the end of it I’m saying something about Sweetie Pie, “She’s a good one,” he says, “You should keep her.” “That’s the plan,” I tell him.



Sweetie Pie returns and we share the chicken curry. It’s very good. “Fresh turmeric,” smiles Dave. Sweetie Pie has been talking with Eneil about things to do to advance his profession. She has his contact info and agrees to help him get a website up on the hosting company she operates. Sweetie Pie!!

Dave says the next time we come back he’ll take us up the river beyond the Washing Machine. “Very quiet up there, you can pack a lunch, spend the day,” he says. “How many tours do you give in a day?” I ask. “Really busy days you can get two, most days just one,” he says, “Lot of guides working,” he says. I give him another tip on our way out.

We pick up our photo CD from Eneil and he makes a point of telling me before we leave, “She’s a very nice lady.” I have to agree. I return the compliment to Eneil and wish him the best of luck.

We walk up the sort of road. This actually makes our thighs burn. It is STEEP. We get to the top and see a motorcycle and a scooter in the parking lot. Two guys are milling around them talking. Lovely bar lady sees us first and calls out, “Come on over me friends, How did you enjoy it?” “We’re buying our own drinks!” I say with a laugh. “That’s right! I knew it! Thank you for coming back.” We grab a roadie and have a quick chat. She really is a lovely lady.

[Guirigay]

Chris was in rapt conversation with his buddy when we walked up but made his goodbyes as we grabbed our beers and comes over to pick us up. As we head down the difficult road Chris tells us about the bikes. “Fella road up here from Negril on that scooter,” he says, “can you believe it?” Well only because we saw it in the parking lot. “Got a flat tire on the last stretch.” This doesn’t surprise us, what surprises us is he didn’t get one BEFORE the last stretch. “Guy on the motorcycle is trying to help him but that’s not going to be easy.” That is a hilarious understatement. “He needs a truck, not a motorcycle,” I say. “Yah, mon.” “He’s got a difficult evening ahead of him,” I add. “Oh Yah, mon.”

Chris says if we see anything we want a picture of to let him know, he’ll stop. We’re chatting and viewing and miss a bunch of great pictures but do stop for one that I think is gorgeous.



We come out of the mountains and into the cane fields and see men heading down the road in heavy wool shirts. “Coming in from the cane fields,” says Chris and you can tell his description this morning was dead accurate. “They wear the heavy shirts to protect themselves from the cane,” he says.

We pass the roadside bar and it is busier. “That’s the place to be, eh?” I ask. “Yah, mon,” says Chris and provides a very entertaining description of a day in the life of a village bar from the first folks headed of to work to the guys who “just don’t want to go home” for a variety of reasons at the end of the night.

We drive through Sav and I say, “It’s market day, isn’t it?” “Yah, mon, you want to drive down to it?” I love market days in the Caribbean, they’re like the essence of community to me. “Of course.” So we take a left instead of a right. Shops seem to put everything out on the street on market days. We pass a few dress shops that have mannequins stacked four high out front. They’re all sexy dresses. Jamaican women love their sexy dresses and pretty much all men love Jamaican women in their sexy dresses. I promise Sweetie Pie I will buy her a Jamaican sexy dress one day, she is totally built for it. We pass street-side lingerie shops. What a place! The town is bustling and we love it.



We head out of Sav and Chris says he’ll take us back on what he calls the highlight tour, along the coast south of Negril and back in to town going past the lighthouse. It’s a beautiful drive and he points out many places we could build or buy a house. We pass Jamaica Jurassic Park on the way. We get back to the hotel and settle on a noon pickup tomorrow to get to the airport.

[Guirigay]

A quick visit to the bar and we’re down to the cliffs for our last sunset. We snap a few pictures and I know one of them is just about perfect. As we grab a couple of pics together waiting for the sun to go down the iPhone dies. Reminded of what’s really important we turn and share our last sunset this reach in serene satisfaction.



When we return to the room I tell Sweetie Pie that we’ve missed some poetry and I plan on being drunk when we return tonight. “Would you like to be showered with poetry?” I ask. She smiles and I tell her this is the poem I intended for today.

Love's Philosophy
By Percy Bysshe Shelley


The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine? -

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

I take the sheet of paper and drop it softly on her belly and continue saying, “This may be the most erotic description of flora and fauna I’ve ever read.”

Come Slowly
a poem by Emily Dickinson

Come slowly, Eden
Lips unused to thee.
Bashful, sip thy jasmines,
As the fainting bee,
Reaching late his flower,
Round her chamber hums,
Counts his nectars -alights,
And is lost in balms!

As I finish I drop the page on her chest say, “This is old school flowery verse but I think it is beautiful, appropriate and an absolute reflection of how I feel.”

Bright Star, Would I Were Steadfast as Thou Art
a poem by John Keats

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night,
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient sleepless eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors;
No yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever or else swoon to death.



I drop the last page on her hips and kiss her…

[Guirigay]

A while later we head out for dinner. We have plans tonight to have chicken from the barrel that sets up each night next to Gas’s. We see it every night from our hotel room door and have told him we’re going to stop. As we head over this evening we see Old Indy standing at the barrel. Sweetie Pie and I look at each other and then the ground as we keep on walking. “Bummer,” we say, we had heard some good things about the chicken. “Well then, Three Dives?” and we’re off.

We order a half chicken and side of fries and get a couple of beers. We head out to the campfire by the edge of the cliff. In the dark I point out to Sweetie Pie faintly discernible outline of three fingers jutting out from the cliff. “OK, Three dives, I get it,” she says. It is a beautiful night and we enjoy the fire. A young boy comes out and sits next to us. “Hello,” he says. We mention how nice the fire on the cliff is and he says,” It’s getting low,” and up he jumps calling out to someone. Owners kid, we figure.

After a while we decide we’ll move up to the dining room. We sit down at a picnic table with another couple. They’re nearly finished, it turns out they ordered exactly what we did. “Perfect amount,” they say, “We’re stuffed.” I go grab us a couple more Stripes and the food shows shortly. Great chicken, great fries but I wish I’d known the veggie was callaloo. I would have ordered an extra side of it. We try to get another side but that doesn’t go well. When we’re done we’re stuffed too.

We’re going to TRY to carouse tonight, we head for PeeWees. We settle into a couple of seats at the bar and order dirty bananas followed by rum and tings. Groups come and go but we stay. Lots of Canadians come in tonight and we have a hoot. We have the BEST times with Canadians this reach. Bentley’s Boarder stops in and we talk. He has lived down here on the cheap for a few long stretches. We get some great info for future reaches. We talk about low dollar days. He says $15-20 a day without your room if you are careful. Good guy, we hope he’s doing well.

We have a long talk with an older local out on the terrace. He’s a cool guy and when I head back for a drink I ask him if I can buy him one. He gives me a look I will never forget and says, “I’d rather have a piece of chicken, I haven’t eaten today.” I go up and talk to the bartender. I think it’s Gatey, the son of the owner who passed away last year. Ask him if I can buy the guy a dinner. He asks who and I point him out. He nods and says 500 will get him a good dinner across the street. I ask for change and hook him up.

[Guirigay]

I’m starting to get lit. Sweetie Pie says rock on, she’ll be sure we get back safe. I need a sipping drink and tell Gatey so. He thinks for a second and then pours a glassful of Appletons, looks through the bottles and pulls out a green bottle. Pours a splash in the glass and hands it to me saying,”Sip this.” He sets it on the bar and then points at me, “Sip.” I take a sip and believe I have found one of the great elixirs of life. “What is that?” I ask in amazement. “Appleton and Stones,” says Gatey. Yes it is, yes it is indeed. “It’s like a Jamaican Martini,” I say and Gatey likes that. The warning to sip is well founded. The Stones smoothes out the rum like a good vermouth does for gin. You could slam it if you weren’t thinking. I sip a bunch of them for the rest of the night.

As things get hazy another group of Canadians shows up and the group has a ring leader of a lady who just cracks me up. I’m rolling so we get in a back and forth. She gets Gatey to plug in her phone and we start listening to some really cool modern reggae I haven’t heard before. I’m digging it. It’s like Trip-hop Reggae. “Who is this?” I ask and she is super excited to tell someone. “Michael Frontia!” she says and goes on and on about him. I got a new music hook-up! We go round and round while listening to at least half a dozen different songs by him. I tell her if she likes this she should listen to Tricky. She’s never heard of him. Payback!!

I give Gatey my last 500 and say, “Give me the long, slow sipper.” He smiles and pours me a tall Appleton and Stones. We’re past eleven now and Sweetie Pie has the pumpkin look going. “We’re going to make midnight, Sweetie!” I say sloppily, “We’re keeping you out!” A little while later Sweetie Pie informs me that there are needs to be taken care of that won’t be taking place here. “I was here earlier this week,” she says and I realize we won’t be making midnight at Pee Wees. When we make our goodbyes Gatey wants to give me change from the last 500 I gave him. We will be back to Pee Wees.

Sweetie Pie guides me Home Sweet Home. Business is attended to and we do manage to see midnight on the verandah. We fade to black with an intense sense of satisfaction.

[lisapat]

Guirigay.....really enjoying your report....seriously thinking of a Mayfield Falls visit this reach

[irie always]

Got some catching up to do on this one - great report and terrific pictures - Mayfield is a great natural excusion. I wonder if what she was listening to was Michael Franti. I love his vibes.

[Patty Sather]

WOW! I love this report