the Cast of Characters -
Guirigay – pronounced gear-ee-guy with the Spanish rolled r. A nickname given to me by some friends from Spain. Guiri’s are tourists in Spain from northern Europe, always red from sunburn. I am always red, only occasionally from sunburn.I am a guiri guy. I am also a gregarious soul. Boisterous, occasionally loud, full of commotion, sounding of gibberish to some individuals. The Spanish word for that is guirigay. The Spaniards find that hilarious, I find it both accurate and endearing.
I was, or thought I was, a one woman man married for life. 22 years together, 2 children at University of Michigan and Kalamazoo College, beautiful home, great job. All of our friends thought we were the perfect family and to be honest, so did I. It’s amazing how fast things can fall apart. With the youngest off to college the ex had little to do, she’s a small fortune heiress and never really wanted to work after having the kids. Alcohol and submarine sandwiches filled her days. She started hanging out with our daughters friends who had not gone off to school. It got to the point where she was slurry by the time I got home most evenings. I tried to talk to her about this, didn’t go well. Tried therapy, she wouldn’t go. In a matter of 3-4 months she’s telling me that she doesn’t love me, won’t ever love me again, but it’s OK to hang around as long as I’m willing to be told every few days in some fairly brutal terms that she needs to let me know she doesn’t love me.
My genius daughter (not kidding, 140+ on multiple IQ tests) drops out of college to wait tables while lying about dropping out. The wife and I split and she drags around one of my daughters 19 year old male friends to a one bedroom apartment and then to the house she buys with money I give her in the settlement. She and the lad start a cold cuts deli for submarine sandwiches.
Through all of this, I can’t help it I’m a stupid romantic, I’m hoping and working for a reconciliation. I met Sweetie Pie just before the divorce was final and we had an immediate an intense connection. Initially , though, it made me long for what I’d lost. After a few months I decide I need to make one last effort at reconciliation. Long heartfelt conversations with Sweetie Pie ensue. She is amazingly, painfully, beautifully understanding. Sweetie Pie and I break up. The ex says she wants to try, a week later she says no, no she doesn’t. I’m swimming somewhere well below the surface. A few months after the breakup Sweetie Pie sends me a beautiful birthday gift. We agree to go see a movie we’d talk about many times while dating. It’s Christmas time and we exchange gifts. She gives me a gorgeous Japanese wool scarf she knitted herself. She spent a lot of hours on that scarf, and we were not dating. I knew she was something special.
We see each other every couple of weeks and she has plans to learn to ski (I am an avid skier). Her friends who were going to go with her back out at the last minute and she is still on her way, by herself. I am seriously impressed by her adventurism. I take her on her first ski trip and it’s a lot of fun. We’re dating again within a month.
Shortly after we start dating again, my son comes home and tells me he believes he is transgendered and he is going to begin the transition process. This is out of the blue, no prior indication. I am very close to him and did NOT see it coming. This was about 11 months ago. He’s been on hormones for 6 months and I’m working on understanding the inconceivable. Let me tell you, it ain’t easy.
I thank goodness for Sweetie Pie and thank Sweetie Pie for goodness.
