Some thoughts

[brasi]

"I know there are circumstances where people from very different socio-economic backgrounds and ages might just actually fall in love, but we all know that most of the time, the disadvantaged person is only in the relationship because they feel they have no other choice financially..."

Good insight. True in some cases.

But, I have seen just as many Jamaican men/women doing very well "playing the game"... meeting a guy/gal every other week ... promising love ... then asking for money ... he/she leaves the rock ... Guy/Gal #2 lands ... rinse, repeat ... 9 different men/women on speed dial ... a nice, comfy life based on making phone calls and walking the beach all day. The alternative would be getting a real job...right?

It isn't easy social situation to figure out. Thanks to my real Jamaican friends, and some cool boardies...I managed to get caught in that trap only once...and I'm not ashamed to admit it ... a lot of these "players" are GOOD ... they know every in/out/emotional ploy there is .... just about when you are asking yourself "This can't happen to me, I'm too savvy, right?" ... it probably is ... or why would you be asking/doubting it? LOL Do your friends at home ask you for money? Or call you 237 times in a day?

Someone said this here not long ago: "As long as the relationships are between consenting adults, it's no one's business."

Everything else, guessing at things, who did what and how people hooked up ... is plain and pure speculation ... and I agree. Everyone involved in any relationship between foreign and Ja needs to watch their heart ... and their wallet ... and as long as it's respectful, and no one is mistreated ... that's life ... it doesn't come with an instruction manual.

Just my $.02

[rastagal]

"I know there are circumstances where people from very different socio-economic backgrounds and ages might just actually fall in love, but we all know that most of the time, the disadvantaged person is only in the relationship because they feel they have no other choice financially..."

Good insight. True in some cases.

But, I have seen just as many Jamaican men/women doing very well "playing the game"... meeting a guy/gal every other week ... promising love ... then asking for money ... he/she leaves the rock ... Guy/Gal #2 lands ... rinse, repeat ... 9 different men/women on speed dial ... a nice, comfy life based on making phone calls and walking the beach all day. The alternative would be getting a real job...right?

It isn't easy social situation to figure out. Thanks to my real Jamaican friends, and some cool boardies...I managed to get caught in that trap only once...and I'm not ashamed to admit it ... a lot of these "players" are GOOD ... they know every in/out/emotional ploy there is .... just about when you are asking yourself "This can't happen to me, I'm too savvy, right?" ... it probably is ... or why would you be asking/doubting it? LOL Do your friends at home ask you for money? Or call you 237 times in a day?

Someone said this here not long ago: "As long as the relationships are between consenting adults, it's no one's business."

Everything else, guessing at things, who did what and how people hooked up ... is plain and pure speculation ... and I agree. Everyone involved in any relationship between foreign and Ja needs to watch their heart ... and their wallet ... and as long as it's respectful, and no one is mistreated ... that's life ... it doesn't come with an instruction manual.

Just my $.02

I've found that the easiest way to tell if someone is genuine is if they don't expect you to buy them anything and definitely don't ask for money or other stuff....simple. For guys traveling to JA that might work differently since you are kind of expected to buy the ladies a drink...but from a woman's standpoint how the hell does it look if a man expects you to buy the drinks, food, pay entrance fee's or whatever else...I can't speak for anyone else but I think something is definitely wrong with that picture and anyone that obliges and thinks it's Ok, well you already know what you are getting into.

[bigbamboo]

I once peed in a pool over a bush

[cdn_79]

"I know there are circumstances where people from very different socio-economic backgrounds and ages might just actually fall in love, but we all know that most of the time, the disadvantaged person is only in the relationship because they feel they have no other choice financially..."

Good insight. True in some cases.

But, I have seen just as many Jamaican men/women doing very well "playing the game"... meeting a guy/gal every other week ... promising love ... then asking for money ... he/she leaves the rock ... Guy/Gal #2 lands ... rinse, repeat ... 9 different men/women on speed dial ... a nice, comfy life based on making phone calls and walking the beach all day. The alternative would be getting a real job...right?

It isn't easy social situation to figure out. Thanks to my real Jamaican friends, and some cool boardies...I managed to get caught in that trap only once...and I'm not ashamed to admit it ... a lot of these "players" are GOOD ... they know every in/out/emotional ploy there is .... just about when you are asking yourself "This can't happen to me, I'm too savvy, right?" ... it probably is ... or why would you be asking/doubting it? LOL Do your friends at home ask you for money? Or call you 237 times in a day?

Someone said this here not long ago: "As long as the relationships are between consenting adults, it's no one's business."

Everything else, guessing at things, who did what and how people hooked up ... is plain and pure speculation ... and I agree. Everyone involved in any relationship between foreign and Ja needs to watch their heart ... and their wallet ... and as long as it's respectful, and no one is mistreated ... that's life ... it doesn't come with an instruction manual.

Just my $.02

Yeah, there are definitely players on both side. Back in the day I used to go to a lot of reggae parties/dances where the male contingent was largely off-shore farm workers 'fresh from yard', not all Jamaican but mostly. I've seen woman after woman used for getting landed immigrant status then dumped right after the guy gets his papers (or treated so badly they get rid of the guy.) Sometimes its SO obvious but no one can tell someone that when they're in "love".
And I've always seen the odd time where one of these guys actually does fall in love with a Canadian girl and they stay together, it definitely can happen. I guess I'm just uncomfortable with the idea of being viewed as someone with privilege taking advantage of someone. Oh well...I know I'm not and thats all that matters

[suzengrace]

I agree with Sheba-try to get out a little if you can-lots of beauty on that island..and remember that you live life on YOUR terms...You do what you want ,your a grown adult-even if you did hook up with a Jamaican (not saying you are) thats your choice...who cares what other people think, esp people(total strangers) who dont even know you..
You and your Mom have a fun and a chill/relaxing time too....

[cdn_79]

Thanks, I know we will have a great time, I've never let what people think stop me before so I'm not going to start now

[Kevin, PA]

Beth and I only spent an afternoon on the beach during which we had the pleasure of meeting Utenlov. The beach was OK and a different experience then we were having on the cliffs. I think we spent more money in an afternoon on the beach then we did the whole week on the cliffs but we specifically went there to shop, and meet utenlov, so it was expected. Too much going on for me. I understand the allure of the beach and I'm not knocking those who do like it. Maybe it's because I've had easy access to beaches my whole life so it's just not as special of a place to me as those that are landlocked. I didn't seem all that far removed from the Jersey Shore as far as the goings on. I'll certainly go to the beach again and maybe even stay there some day but now I know the vibe on the cliffs is way more my style.

[northcoast]

Very insightful comments, Brasi

[TiCtOc]

Yay brasi you are catching on to the rules of lurve!

[brasi]

Yay brasi you are catching on to the rules of lurve!

Live and die by the Tic Lurve Rules. The END.