Some thoughts

[utenlov]

First I must give a huge thanks yet again to the boardies that helped calm and soothe my nerves before going on my first solotrip ever! I don't regret going for a second! I had a great time, and of course i met some wonderful people. My neighbors at treehouse turned out to be the sweetest couple from Canada and they kinda took me under their wings. I'm forever grateful! I also made a friend in an rasta elder, Derrick, who showed me how to cook, took me out dancing and cooked some more. It was much needed since going out alone gave far more attention than I wanted. I really don't care that people thought I was going out with a man 20 years my senior as long as I could dance my ass off without getting hit on every two seconds. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like attention at all. It's just that when you get more compliments in two weeks than you get in 25 years at home you kinda know a good deal of it is a big fat lie.
I thought about doing a tripreport, but opted against it. Instead I will share some of my thoughts on what it's like being a firsttimer in a sea of longtimers, a different culture and as a single white female.
I saw some things down there that most definitely made me think. See, I'm an observer. I like to observe the goings on, do some people watching and then find my place in the whole scene. And scene is the word! The beach.. To me it felt like a stage, a scene put up where people play their parts. I did not fit in..
I don't even know how to write down all the things that went through my head, I'm not sure if I should. I might step on some toes, and it might give the impression that I didn't like Negril. So to get that out of the way, I loved Negril! At least most of it. And I will be back!
This post will probably end up jumping from theme to theme and back again, but bare with me on that.
Ok, the higglers. I expected it to be a lot worse form what I read on the internet. I mean, every beach that has that many tourists will have higglers. At least all the places I've been has had them. What I didn't like about it was the security.. Of course, to some degree I liked that it was security there. That I could leave my stuff next to the sunbed and be in the water for 10 minutes and not worry. And that I could just lie there with my book and not get asked to buy this and that. But still, it felt wrong to me. It felt like I was part of robbing the locals of what is actually theirs. To be a part of the reason why higglers are only allowed to walk past didn't sit well with me. Even though I'm used to travelling, higglers and tourism this was my first time staying at a resort like that. It was my first time on a beach with security. I felt protected from something I didn't need protection against. Next time I'm thinking about staying on the other side of the road, and using the public area of the beach. It might be more me.
Also I found that so many of the tourists I saw where rude, obnoxious and disrespectful. Espescially towards the locals. I heard on more than one occasion tourists calling locals n****** behind their back. I've heard people badmouthing the locals in such a racist way that left me gobsmacked. Why anyone with such meanings would choose Jamaica for a vacation is far beyond my comprehension!
One night I was at Bourbon beach with Derrick and while we were dancing in the sand this on guy took a whole bunch of pictures of us. Afterwards Derrick went over to say hello as they were sat next to us. He backed when Derrick offered his hand in respect. He did shake Derrick's hand, but only just. Afterwards I overheard him say to his girlfriend he didn't want to talk to the crazy n*****. It outraged me and made me sick to my stomach!
And then there's the the thing with Jamaican men and tourist women. I knew what was going on before I got there, and I too did meet a man. But still, to see what I can only describe as male prostitution made me think. No wonder some of the local women I met where so hostile! I would be as well! I understand that this is a complex situation, there are many levels here. I must admit I sometimes felt a bit embarrassed to be single, white female down there. I witnessed drunk white women shouting "I love my big bamboo" and kissing at least 3 of the guys walking through the bar. And that was just one of them. I have travelled a great deal to Thailand where as everyone knows the sextourism is well established. But even there I have hardly seen men behave so badly as some of the women I saw in Negril. This is where I have hard time understanding other people, I don't get why some people apparantly leave their head at the airport only to act as spoiled children for the duration of their trip. This isn't news to me, it's everywhere. It never seizes to amaze me though.
i try to travel with respect and gratitude. I'm allowed in to their country, which in a way is their home, and I try to act accordingly. Off course I fall flat on my face sometimes and do or say something which I regret. Don't we all? I'm privileged to be born in Norway, to be able to travel across the world on my kindergardenteacher salary. I'm lucky and I know it. Does that mean I have a right to behave and act any way I please simply because I have the money to do so?

Oh.. This post is coming off as negative as I feared it would. Even though there are many more thoughts on these subjects I could share I think I'll leave it there. I said I'll be back in Negril. When I read through my post now it doesn't look like I liked it all that much. I did! The reasons for me coming back can be summed up in a few words. The locals, the music, the feeling!

Last, but not least, i hope I didn't offend anyone with this. That was not my intention.