Irie's attempt to get her groove back...TRIP REPORT

[Jbizek]

You need to speak with a lawyer pronto. He uses money and isolation to control you, and it's never going to get any better. Why would it change? It's working out great for him. He won't see a counselor, guarentee it. While it takes two, the fact he is holding you hostage, won't let you see a doctor are clearly signs of emotional abuse. I agree you need to get a job, why not find one that is compatible with his schedule? You work nights? Even if it's at a grocery store or gas station. How about taking in kids for babysitting, usually you can be paid under the table and can start stashing it away.any high price items you can pawn? A wedding ring? Other jewelry? Just enough to get you in your own place? Sometimes you have to do scary things to enact the change you need. Since money seems to be the big issue with him, methinks if you talked to a lawyer, got a job or your own place he would change his tune. He is smart enough to know a divorce is going to cost him a lot more than being a decent husband to you. He might change for a little while but old habits die hard. If your truly as unhappy as you say you are it's time do some soul searching, picture your life in 5 years? 10 years? Sometimes the hardest things to do are the right ones. He has battered your self esteem so hard your ready to settle for a roof over your heads and food in your bellies... That's not life, that's existing. You and your boys deserve more than that.

[SweetSue]

BTW - on the issue of no health insurance....
1- put his name down as the person who will guarantee payment, list the business too. If he claims you has a dependent, then he is obligated. Let the collection agency go after him.
2- Failure to provide the children with appropriate health care - physicals, immunizations, etc. could be considered child neglect.

[SweetSue]

Iriesistah - I never intended for you to feel obligated to make any public answer to my comments. I only wished to play devils advocate in part and to give you some points to really consider as a means of improving your situation. SO please, do not feel that I am trying to get you to share more than you should. Actually, it is better that you don't. Let the story of your Jamaican adventure be a creative outlet for you.

That having been said, I would encourage you to do some serious soul searching and to take responsibility for those things you can change. Do you want your boys to grow up viewing you as nothing more than a doormat? What kind of men do you want them to grow up to be? Consider your options. Some good suggestions have been made here on this board. If you can't seem to get the will to do it for yourself, then perhaps you can do it for your children. Just as you managed to have this vacation, you can manage to set aside personal funds, make plans and take steps to regain control over your life. He may be controlling the purse strings but he cannot control your spirit unless you let him.

I wish you all the best. On a lighter note, I look forward to seeing some more of your Jamaican trip photos.

[brasi]

irieh, you have a lot of friends and we are all here for you.

(hug)

[Iriesistah]

OK everyone...enough of my whining!!! Again, I am sorry.

On to what we are here for... A trip report!!!

I am getting ready to make dinner and after that I plan on starting the trip report.

For dinner tonight:

Jerk Chicken ~ it has been marinating in sauce from 3 Dives for 2 days now!!! I don't eat meat, but my husband will surely enjoy this!!!

Curried Veggies and rice

Homemade festival

Lets get started!!!

[tfw73]

Homemade festival?? Interesting!

[Clarity]

IrieSistah - You've received a lot of great advice here on the board, I don't think there is anything I can add that hasn't been suggested.
I do not know the full extend of your situation and I'm sure there is even more that you aren't comfortable enough to share
I've been in a situation like this, it was a little different but I understand the feeling of being trapped and not having anyone to turn to.
I just want you know that I'm here for you too and I'm so sorry for what you're going through...

I know you want to switch gears, so I will leave it at that. *Please* Feel free to PM me anytime.

Jerk chicken for dinner with 3 Dives Jerk sauce sounds SOO good!
I'm looking forward to reading your upcoming trip report

-Daisy

[Eden]

Mmmm your dinner sounds so goood! I am hoping that today was a much better day for you ,and I am looking forward to the rest of your trip report whenever you are ready to share. :-)

[Angel]

Iriesistah looking forward to your trip report. Praying for some peace and happiness for you ASAP didn't you have some friends go to Jamaica this last trip? Is there anyone who can help you. Because you and sons deserve so much more. And Clarity sorry you went through some drama too. And anyone else who has/is dealing with this.

[irie luv]

I would take Marley9808 up on her offer. Once that caged bird is free, it'll wonder why it waited so long.