Irie's attempt to get her groove back...TRIP REPORT

[Iriesistah]

Here I sit wide awake, haven't slept all night. I have tried but my head is racing.

Yesterday was so hard, having to say good by to our dog of fourteen years is heartwrenching.
It was a long drawn out morning waiting to take her to the vet. I will spare you the details of the goodbye.

We spent the afternoon burying her in shady spot in the yard near where she loved to sit.

I think that the worst part of all of this is that she has had a buddy, a jack russell terrier, who has lived beside her for the past 14 years.
They were best buddies.
He is so confused and sad, running around the house and yard looking for her.
He didn't even touch his dinner, which in not at all like him.

I know that she is in a much better place and free from pain, however it still hurts.

On top of all of that, my husband sprung on me that he doesn't know if he will be able to give me any money for my trip. He says that IF he does, he wont know how much until the moment that I walk out the door for the airport.

As I explained previously, I am a stay at home mom and I have no money of my own, nor do I have access to any of my husband or OUR (his, as he likes to refer to it) companies bank accounts (other than a sneak peek over his shoulder from time to time), and of course my account has a total of $24 in it.

We certainly are not rich by any means, however I know that he can afford to give me some spending money for the trip.
I rarely ask for anything for myself. I don't really buy clothes or anything like that, I don't usually wear any makeup, and I get my hair cut maybe once every two years. I am by no means high maintenance.

He didn't have to shell out a single penny for the actual trip so I know that he can afford to give me some spending money.

Now I have to sit for the next 4 days and worry if I will have enough money to cover my expenses of the trip.... baggage fee, taxi to hotel, food, ect.

This sucks.

He also gave me a huge guilt trip about even going on this trip.
Told me that I am screwing my family by going on it and that I am "taking food out of my children's mouths", which is just plain absurd.
He also reminded me that I will be "paying for this long after my return."

All of this stress has left me tight in my chest and unable to sleep.

I am so sorry to put all of this info out there for you all to read.
It is not my intention to have a pity party or anything of the sort.
I only feel that all of this is all part of my story.

MOVING ON....

On a better note, the sun has now come up and it looks as if today will be another beautiful pre-spring day weather wise.

I have begun to pack and can hardly wait to get my feet out of those big glass doors and feel that warm Jamaican air on my face.

I once again remind myself how blessed I am to even have the chance to travel outside of my country, to have a warm home, food on the table, two amazing children, the list is endless.

I AM TRULY BLESSED.