I am so sorry you are having difficulties. However, one thought did cross my mind - If you used your Verizon phone, even with the International Plan, to call home, that bill must be astronomical! (current rate $1.99/min) I made that mistake ONCE but they had also made in error in quoting me the price per minute of calling JA from US as the price of calling US from JA. Since the error was documented, they had to reverse much of the charges, otherwise my phone bill would have been >$500. Since the proverbial coin has two sides, I can see the other side of this one.... BUT please read on as I give you points to ponder - no answers expected except the ones you make to yourself. (I am a mother hen at heart, always have been)

Don't get me wrong. I do not condone abusiveness in any form, however, is there some possibility that as the sole provider in the household, you husband is overwhelmed by the responsibility? Could it be that he is too proud to admit that he is having difficulty covering all of the expenses by himself but instead of coming to you like an equal partner, he is freaking out and trying to CONTROL everything? Perhaps he views your sojourn in Jamaica NOT as a time for you to recharge yourself but rather as running away from your marital problems or as being irresponsible? AGAIN - I AM NOT EXCUSING BAD BEHAVIOR. I am trying to encourage you to be self examining. You cannot control another's emotions or responses, only your own. But you would benefit from looking at what you can do to make things better. It sounds like money issues have a lot to do with your situation. Is he trying to control you with it or does he feel that you have poor self control? Are there steps you can make to improve your situation? Can you make a realistic household budget? Are you shopping as a means of finding solace in an unhappy situation? I had a friend who did that. She would shop, buy things she did not need and could not afford. Then she would try to hide the purchases from him. But that only worked until the bills came in. Then it was monthly WAR!! He was a real SOB but she was not improving her own situation either.

Have you considered Counseling? Marital or otherwise? Can you sit down and have an honest discussion with him? One that is not driven by emotion but by a logical approach to the issues. Anything that is approached in an emotional manner is likely to melt down and be non productive.

What about parenthood? What was his model as a child? What was yours? Did you have a plan or did it just evolve into this Daddy works, Mommy stays home, Daddy is THE BOSS routine?

Do you have a friend you can bounce ideas off of who will give you HONEST feedback? This part is important. You need objectivity in order to find potential solutions to your current situation. Sometimes that means talking to someone who loves you enough to tell you what you don't like to hear. A GOOD FRIEND will write you a REALITY CHECK. It helps you to identify what you need to own, what you can change and what you cannot. At least it gives you a starting point.

I feel for you. I really do. Since you put it out there, I felt the need to respond as I have. I speak from experience. Hindsight is 20/20 and looking back I can see where perhaps I could have made different choices. I really hope and pray that you were able to recharge and benefit from your time out of the "situation." Negril is a good place to do that. The beauty of the place and her people is good for the soul. But that was vacation. This is reality, as unpleasant as it may be. I hope and I pray that you will find the inner resources to approach your issues. Be honest with yourself, identify your strengths and that will help you to find solutions.

GOD BLESS YOU and keep you. I will keep you in my prayers.

PEACE.