DRIVING IN JAMAICA
Those of you who have braved the roads may add their own words of wisdom

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real
Jamaican driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you, or
the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting
you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the
smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign.
No one expects it and it will result in you being rear ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs
extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible
to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice,
relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the
left. It's a good way to scare people for a free laugh.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion
And are apparently not enforceable in Kingston.

9. Just because you're in the right lane and have no
room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a
Jamaican driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an
accident or even someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Jamaica is the home of
the high-speed ‘dally’, thanks to the KSAC, which
puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers'
reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in Jamaica to honk your horn! At cars
that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Jamaican driver is
to get there first --by whatever means necessary.



14. The easiest way to get your driving license is to buy it...

15. Never slow for crossing pedestrians.. rule doesn't apply for pretty girls that are trying to cross, where you should immediately stop the car and start the sexual harassment..

16. The more distorted and blown your speakers can get, the more it impresses girls and better it sounds..