Trip Report: ULTRA BUMP

[rizla]

SUNGLASSES

During one of my beach days, I used the restroom. I brought my bottle of water, sunglasses, and wallet with me. I left my water and glasses by the sink and brought my wallet in the stall with me. I contemplated whether or not leaving my glasses there was a good idea, but I figured no one would steal them at a nice place like this. When I returned to wash my hands, I noticed that my glasses were gone. I quickly ran out of the restroom to see if I could catch the teef. Security was nearby and suggested that perhaps they had fallen. Instinctively, I wanted to put out an Amber Alert and worried that going back in to check the floor would be losing precious time; but, I went back in to check. They weren’t there.

Security pointed out the tourist women who just left, but they were back at the beach at this point. I stomped toward them and aggressively stared all of the women.

A guy called out to me, “Are you looking for something?”

“My sunglasses,” I replied angrily.

“We found them, but didn’t know where to return them,” he explained, as he handed them back to me. Apparently, they weren’t worth stealing, as I only paid $10 for them, but already grew very attached to them. I thanked him profusely, going along with the charade that they took them with the assumption that they had been lost.

The bartender told me that he saw the women leave the restroom with them, quickly studying them to see if they were expensive. It was hard for me to get over it for the rest of the trip. It was beyond me that someone would do that. Unfortunately, since we were all staying at the same resort, I had to see them for the rest of the trip.

The trip was therapeutic in every way. I felt a million miles from the stress of my job and my life. My peace of mind was rattled and I found myself saying “I’ll cut a *****” every time the subject came up. You can take the girl out of Jersey, but.. you know the rest.

At the end of the trip, one of the ladies who works in the lobby was tickled pink by another pair of sunglasses that I was wearing. She giggled with delight at the sight of them. When we were leaving, I wrapped them up and gave them to her as a present. I made her day.

In the end, I guess if you want my sunglasses, the best way to go about it is not to take them, but simply compliment them and I’ll simply give them to you.

** More posts and photos to come. Some names have been changed.