During the intermission Daisy and Markus return from Mandeville. It’s too late for Markus to join the competitors but not for Daisy to join the judging panel. She takes her place for the Semi’s and the Finals. As many of the contestants engage in a health and safety inspection in the Cuckoo Cabana the Semi-Finalists are announced – MuzikDoc, Ninja, Booger and Guirigay! That’s quite a gauntlet of girth for me to overtake. Well, Booger ain’t huge but he’s already moon dived and gone on endlessly about hanging brain so I’m figuring he’s going to pull a card I haven’t put in my deck…

So I need to figure something out. How can I increase my impact? I’m staring at my flop pile when it comes to me. I can DEFINITELY increase my impact. I ask the judges how many more flops would be necessary to win and they say two. Can I come up with another one? This is a finals worthy flop plan but it’s worthless if I don’t make it to the finals…

MuzikDoc goes first and sticks to the plan. Old school, no effing around master belly flopping. Not quite as good as the second flop, though, and that may cost him. If you’re going to straight flop, I think they need to get bigger and better each time. No disrespect, Masta Slamma, you know this is true That opinion is entirely in retrospect, though, ‘cause at the time all any of us are thinking is, “Damn! There he goes AGAIN!” I can’t come up with a second flop… As I stare at the mish mash of special ed accessories I hear Ninja announced and turn to…

Yes, catch the moment of impact and watch another eruption of pool water! And the damn crowd is whooping again! This is getting a little annoying! On video later I will see that he has done sort of a stalefish ankle grab, A nice choice for the event even if he didn’t know it… And the dude just keeps popping up from each flop with the biggest smile on his face… I gotta bring it, see if I can make the finals and pull something out of the backside for it…

Booger steps to the edge again and shuffles a little, sort of like I imagine myself if I’m standing there thinking “What the HELL am I going to do?” And then he launches into a Burt Reynolds Centerfold Flop and he nails it! A very athletic move. And stylish. And he lands a solid impact. Dang, these cats just keep bringing it… So let’s see…

I grab the flippers and slide my hands into the footholds, wrapping my fingers back through the toe holes. As I step to the edge I see a noodle floating in my landing zone and try to push it away. It only takes a couple of seconds for it to float out of the way but it feels like forever. I step to the left a little and launch, pulling my arms as far behind me as I can and as I approach the water I try to time the downward slap of my arms and the flippers to meet the water at the same time as my body. Just about everything hits at the same time. Face, upper chest, arms at high speed and the flippers at even higher speed as I snap my wrists. It is LOUD and I know it even as I quickly submerge. I come up in a lot of pain, I’m staggered a little. The crowd is definitely whooping, I think I’ve given myself a chance. I take a look and I’m RED, REALLY RED! The scores come in and there is some booing from the crowd. I’m still a little disoriented but Sweetie Pie says, “They didn’t give you enough points, the crowd says more!” So I stumble my way over to the judges table. I display my arms which are deep red and offer a few commentaries on my competitive abandon. I am awarded extra points. Another angle played successfully, will it be enough to get me a shot in the finals? If it does, what the hell am I going to do?