Mr. X does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

[Mr. X]

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 14 – The Plane Ride

September 4th, 2010 – Saturday – Day 1 (AKA D-Day)
Up at 630am got to finish packing.
Did not sleep well.
Too many things to think about.
Excited.

Somehow she figures (talks to someone at Delta Airlines) out we get 2 suitcases each at no extra charge. That is 100lbs per person. She was worse than last year. Literally threw tons of clothes into 2 suitcases. That plan may be all well and good if you are staying in 1 place the whole time but if you are moving around heavy luggage and cannot get to ur clothes. Great me lugging heavy suitcases around Jamaica and her lucky to wear 10% of clothes she brought.
Maybe next year she will learn.
Maybe not.
What does she care?
If you got a valet maybe you are not worried about weight of suitcases.
But if you are The Valet (me) it’s a different story … heavy loads to foreign country uphill both ways.
Not like I did not mention to her about over packing about 1000 times in the last week.

House not cleaned
Laundry not done
Grass not cut
Lost my motivation about 3 weeks ago.
Just burned out but excited about going on vacation.
More importantly got a little extra money in my pocket and we are going to have a blast.
Can deal (or not) with home stuff later
Leave house at 9am

Is Going to Jamaica Dangerous?
Leaving my home is dangerous. Statistically for me the greatest danger on this 8 day adventure is getting hit by a texting teenage driver on the way to the Atlanta airport. So I drive my normal way to the airport. Not rushed or panicked. No major traffic on Saturday morning.

Take off supposed to be at 1207pm
Like to be early
Going smooth
Park in lot.
Shuttle bus right there. 4 suitcases and computer bag.
Dropped off right at Delta curbside since we already have boarding passes.
Short line.
Weighs her heavy bag first 52 lbs.
Damn.
Now I am going to have to start pulling stuff out right here at curbside and sticking stuff in my bags.

Sky Cap Guy says “No problem its ok.”
What?
Did he really say the exact phrase “no problem” about the luggage being overweight?
No problem is what he said.
All this time in my life I thought that was a hard and fast rule 50.0 lbs.
Did not know it was even possible to let you slide.
I managed to not say anything smart ass.
I guess I was a little shocked.

She claims I am acting like a “nut” all week about the weight of the suitcases. The fact that we each could only bring 1 suitcase with a 50lb max limit. Period. Now we are standing there with 4 suitcases and first one weighs more than the maximum limit and yet it’s “no problem”. My wife says the whole time packing not to worry. Everything will work out. When I explain overweight etc. extra charges. She don’t give a sh*t. Knows things will just work out. Damn guess she was right.

Kind of ticks me that I called Delta the day I got tickets and they said 1 suitcase each. She calls day before we leave and its 2 suitcases per person at no charge. If I called it would have gone from 2 suitcases to 1 suitcase per person. Whatever.

I guess I should be more open to the possibilities of life.

Mental note
Add to record that’s 1 time I was overweight limit at the airport and they let me slide and approximately a million times they did not let me slide and I had to start yanking stuff out of wife’s bag on my knees and repacking with a line of people behind me giving me the evil eyes.

Sky Cap Guy asks what is occasion of our trip?

Vacation and Birthday (she milks it all week).
He gives her 2 free drink tickets. Nice
$5 tip is now even more of a bargain
Want to ask again why we fly Delta?
Sure they got a near monopoly in Atlanta and make us pay higher prices but at least they are nice to me. Besides on this trip I feel like I got a hell of a deal. On this leg they are getting to haul more than 300lbs of me and my suitcases for $70 bucks so I got to feel pretty good about the exchange. Wifey is much lighter than me but apparently she has about 102lbs of luggage I am guessing so $70 bucks is still a bargain for her as well.

Go thru security
Long lines but goes fast

Normal stuff. Check email on laptop. Try to keep laptop fully charged. Not too many people to call early Saturday morning. Always nice to slip in conversation we will be out of the country this week. Ride train to gate no problem. Pop up to gate. We are early but it is listed on board. Nothing to do but chill for an hour or so till it boards. Starts loading 30 minutes before and looks like an on time take off from 10 minutes preflight. Try to get comfortable. Not a long flight but at 3 hours not short either. Reading material. Laptop. Note pad. Bottle water. Snacks. IPod.

All Reggae today.
All Reggae all week.

I am ready for vacation.

Spark the engines!

Damn if this moment did not take a long ass time to arrive.

Don’t let nobody jump us in line I want to yell to pilot but you know you cannot be acting up on an airplane these days.

[Mr. X]

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations


Chapter 14 (cont) – The Plane Ride

Everything going according to plan

Backup Plan
Always got to have a backup plan in Jamaica. If we have not left Atlanta when our friends arrive in MoBay then Granville (friend we met last year) will drive them to Negril to the Seastar Inn. If delay is less than 3 hours than they are just going to have to wait on us. Maybe tour MoBay. Hang out at outside airport bar and snack stand. Plan is the same for us. 3 hours is about the time it will take to drive to Negril and back so anything under that will just wait.

Order drinks on plane, stewardess already ran credit card when we remember free drink tickets. No problem just give us 2 more drinks. She overhears birthday talk. (Again birthday not till Wednesday this is Saturday) Gives her a free drink. So if you are keeping track that’s 3 drinks for her all free and 2 regular price for me. Maybe I should start blabbing like it is my birthday all the time if I knew you could get all this free stuff.

SO TELL ME THE EXCHANGE RATE AGAIN?
Ballpark Version.
Ok last year (2009) it was 87 Jamaican dollars to 1 dollar US. Easy way to figure it out is round to 100 Jamaican to 1 dollar US. So any time you have Jamaican just knock off 2 zeros. Say something is 300J. Knock off 2 zeros. Then that would be 3 dollars US.
(Her) GOT IT.
(Me) 1000J knock off 2 zeros would be 10US.
(Her) GOT IT. GOT IT.
(Me) Ok so 1 dollar Jamaican how much would it be US money?
(Her) EASY 100 DOLLARS US!
(Me) Um close I believe the answer would be about a penny. Give me all the money back and let me do the paying. If you want to buy something from somebody send them over to talk to me.
(Her) You are an ASS!
(Me) Maybe but I am way better at math than you. Just send them to me.

Friends were already in Miami before we left Atlanta. Plane leaving a little late but they should be on time and before us. We basically leave only about 10 minutes late. Zipping along past Florida and then Cuba I can see perfectly. Can see small boats in the water. So Vast. Old man and the Sea type sh*t. Wow. Clear and Bright not a cloud in sight. Wow all around just giant open sky and beautiful water. Not a cloud in the sky. Well except way to my far front left. Other 99% of sky clear not a cloud in sight. To my far front left I can see clouds but they are low to the ground and not dark but white fluffy. Whole rest of the sky is clear and beautiful. Prepare to land announcement comes over PA.

Wow can’t believe 7 nights and 8 days in vacationland.
Money in my pocket.
Jet Flying.
Limo Riding.
Wahoo! (I am feeling like Ric Flair)
We are to going to have so much fun!
Life is Good
Life is Great

Pilot comes on and says extremely large storm directly over MBJ airport and we got to circle.

Just could not land on freaking time once?

Is it even possible for things to go perfect??

Have I ever got anywhere without problems???

No of course not. Chill. Breathe.
Getting a little bumpy.
Don’t like bumpy at all

Is Going to Jamaica Dangerous?
GOING anywhere is dangerous. Least danger would be to stay home and hide under the covers in bed.

Will be at least 20 minutes to loop around and Pilot will check in about 10 minutes.

Gets a little more bumpy.
I Don’t like to be shaken.

Where is that sick bag?



Don’t need it (yet) just want to hold in my hand.
Gives me comfort knowing where it is.
Don’t need it just like to know where it is.
Don’t even know if I have ever used one.
Damn sure bet I can figure it out.
Seems small.
Bumpy.
I don’t like air turbulence.

About 15 minutes later Pilot comes back on PA and says extremely bad storms a lot of circling planes. Just will have to keep circling 2nd Time and he will check back in 15 minutes.
Got a time (15 minutes) to look forward toward.
Breathe.
Relax.
Chill.
Chill my ass I wish this plane would quick shaking.
Feel good about maintence at Delta.
How hard does it got to shake for bolts to become loose?
Wonder when this plane was last given full mechanical overhaul?
When he said “extremely bad storm” wonder exactly what the defintion of “extremely bad” verse just “regular bad” is?
Pilot experience? He looked plenty old enough
I am sure they fly into many storms.
Wonder what is the worst storm the Pilot has flown into?
Wonder if this is an average bad storm?
Sh*t I have got to find something else to think about.
Little woozy can do nothing but ride it out.
Seems like forever.
Damn it has been a long time since pilot said 15 minutes seems like 30 minutes.
(Me) How long has it been?
(Me) How long has it been??
(Her) WHAT?
(Me) Don’t WHAT me how long has it been since the pilot said he would check back in 15 minutes!!
(Her) ABOUT 5 MINUTES. WHY?
(Me) %^$*$*^ 5 minutes *%$^
Bout to lose my mind (and breakfast)
I got to go into a trance for 10 minutes to keep from puking.
Ohm Ohm Ohm Ohm Ohm Ohm Ohm

Is Going to Jamaica Dangerous?
I am being shaken to death in a flying spaceship over a big body of deep water without a parachute. What kind of dumb ass question is that. Hell yes going to Jamaica is Dangerous!

[Marko]

lol........loving this.........and now the in Jamaica part starts!

Cool Runnings, Marko

[Delta]

Fabulous!

[Cali]

She was worse than last year. Literally threw tons of clothes into 2 suitcases. That plan may be all well and good if you are staying in 1 place the whole time but if you are moving around heavy luggage and cannot get to ur clothes. Great me lugging heavy suitcases around Jamaica and her lucky to wear 10% of clothes she brought. Maybe next year she will learn. Maybe not.

I had to laugh when I read this as this sounds like me. I will stuff my suitcases, then open the extension zipper on the side to see how much more I can fit in, and then weigh them on my scale at home before heading to the airport. During the ride to the airport I am praying that my scale was accurate and that my bags are under 55 pounds each, as my tote bag/purse (carry on) can usually accommodate the overflow if need be. I need to learn to pack less but I get hit with the "what if" syndrome (what if I need those shoes/that dress/that towel/a lightweight jacket). I miss the days of having 75 pounds per bag.

[Mr. X]

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 15 – MBJ Airport

September 4th, 2010 – Saturday - Day 1 (AKA D-Day)

10 minutes later Pilot comes back on PA and we are cleared to land.
Amen.
First shots of vacationland.






Looks like an island and it just rained hard. But I see movement. The little ants are alive and moving on the ground. Cannot wait to be one of those ants.






Fly over this resort every time. Looks nice. Bet people stay there and think they got it made.





Suppose that nice neighborhood hears the jets?



As we are getting closer to landing I have the same thought I always have right before landing. Gee I hope we are at the airport and there is a clear runway in front of us.

[Mr. X]

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 15 (cont) – MBJ Airport

Touchdown.





Cool


2:47pm we are on the ground. Suppose to be 2:07pm. Considering we left late and get delayed landing flying to foreign country so 40 minutes late is not bad. Try to stay calm. As usual got to wait to get off plane. Wife turns her phone on to get any news of friends. Text Granville we hit ground. Little tired. Little dizzy. Getting my land legs back. Try to stay ahead of soon to be big line of landing planes and people. Bathroom can wait. Lets go!

This is going to be a trip where planning rewards the experienced traveling researcher and cuts all the bs out. I am the man. Get all the way to front and hand forms to customs guy. “Finish filling out forms over there sir” he says. I look at form and somehow I forgot to fill out back questions. Damn. I am big time idiot. Look back and there are about 5 people in line behind me and then there is a gap of 100 yards or so until the next big group of hundreds of people are headed my way. So I step out of line check the freaking 4 boxes (no, no, no and no) that I guess I did not remember despite this being my 8th trip to Jamaica or the fact that I had 3 hours plus delays on plane. Whatever. Don’t mind it being a small thing. No way in hell I am going to let a hundred people jump me in line. Boxes checked and jump back in line before big group gets to desk. Guy waves us through. Takes an extra 3 minutes. No problem.

Talk to Granville on phone tell him it will be just a few minutes. Tired. And apparently brain dead. No time for more stupid mistakes. After we get bags I ask a local which exit for cabs. (remember last year going out wrong exit?) He points. We go out. No tour buses. Cool. Boss sees Granville and is yelling. They both get a text from our friends that they have landed ….

Kool

In Kingston.

Not Kool
Lol. What you going to do?
Fortunately I had read about this exact thing happened to people on the negril.com board. Nothing to do. Way too far to drive. When it takes off it is like a 15 minute flight. No choice but wait. Weather is cleared to land so hopefully they will walk out in a half hour or so.

No big deal we can catch up with Granville. Bar right there. Lug all the suitcases over and plop down. About every 10 minutes I get up and walk around area. Check and see if their flight has landed. Because of the weather all flights delayed. Lots and lots of people waiting for friends and family. Probably about 1% tourists rest local nobody tries to sell me anything. Too funny. Now I could have bought anything I wanted but if you are trying to sell stuff to tourists you are on the wrong side of the airport. I guess they figure if you are on this side not ur first rodeo. If I get anywhere near curb cab drivers are trying to get my attention. They are also doing it to the locals.



I have been back to Jamaica for 30 minutes and I have already got 7 forms of no down. Verbal, head shake, ignore, arm wave, hand wave and finally the single finger wiggle. I know that’s only 6 but 7 is when I really mean Hell to the NO!!!





Nice area to wait. Looks like under a bridge but I guess that’s just the metal roof. Completely opened to the street but since it does not get cold. Does not matter. Food and drinks available several places. Womens Field Hockey Jamaica vs England on bar tv. These are not girls these are women. Bad reception but I am pretty sure I could get into this sport.

They must not have all the state of the art equipment because that board keep saying they were about to land for over an hour. They were in airport for an hour while it only took us 15 minutes to come out. They come out of airport at 430pm. 3 hours late. 1 ¾ hours after we walked out. (Who is that bringing Newbies to the rock since 1969? Nick? Waiting on Newbies since 1969 I bet. lol) If we had known we may have left the airport but the airport board kept saying it was landing any minute. Lines were very long inside airport. We are tired. They are tired. But all excited to finally make it. Once we cram all 5 of us and luggage, lots of luggage, into Granvilles car we are FINALLY on vacation.

[Tpon]

really enjoying your report. Especially the wife's suitcase weight. Happens to us every year when we travel with our friends wife to Negril!! They need "choices"!!!

[Mr. X]

Mr. X Does Negril (2010) with No Reservations

Chapter 16 – Ride to Negril/Cambio

September 4th, 2010 – Saturday – Day 1 (AKA D-Day)
Due to my dizziness and elder status I am giving the shotgun seat. Windows down. Woops still wet and big ass puddles. Better keep windows up. People walking down street selling fruit, etc. Its Saturday MoBay always seems busy. Lol. I am probably always there on Saturdays so.



Pulled directly in front of Check Cashing Place (Cambio). Exact same Check Cashing Place as last year inside seemed smaller than last year. Smaller? If I cannot even remember size of check cashing place in a year. Chance of getting this story straight? I give them $500US to exchange to Jamaican. The cashier whipped it out and put a rubber band and handed it to me. Stack is much smaller than last year. Yup I must have asked for small bills last year. I was trying to decide if I should count it right there which is usually the best thing to do but in this case my friend is getting the exact same amount as me so I did not worry about it. Before I had walked in there was a vendor outside the Cambio trying to get me to look. I did not want to look had no interest but the guy was begging me. So when I came out I looked but just don’t need or want bracelets or gum.

FINE PRINT ON EXCHANGE RATE
Rate was lower than last year about say 84J to 1US which is actually good for Jamaica. My money is worth slightly less than it was last year. Not enough in my short stay to make much difference.

1000J is about 12US
500J about 6US and
100J about $1.20US.

Say something is 3600J
How much US?
3000J = 36US(12x3)
500J = 6US
100J = 1.20US
Total = 43.20US

That should handle small purchases. General strategy is pay my friends (Granville) and probably hotels in US. Local places in local currency. Everybody in Jamaica knows what US money is worth. They are just not going to have change in US but will take US. Most local people are not good at conversion and round up so usually you get better price by paying local (J). For small purchases you pay in US and get change in Jamaican. You get screwed in the exchange. Much better to have local currency for small local purchases. If you want something say a small carving and its worth $5 to you who cares pay $5 in US. Things like route taxi. You want to have Jamaican money ready. Just like bus at home. Places where prices are in Jamaican. Better to pay in Jamaican. Hotels are tourist hotels so if we are negotiating a better rate they are going to want US

Got back in car and it has stopped raining (dripping off everything) and is actually drying up in most places except where there are giant puddles. Small lakes? Damage don’t look too bad. Not first time it has ever rained hard here. Open windows as we are leaving MoBay. Can smell the ocean and the food and the fresh air and the music coming from everywhere.










So much bustle in the city and traffic. Like the bustle in NYC and then boom you are on the outskirts of the city. Country. Rolling beautiful lush green hills to my left. Amazes me the amount of really large houses or small hotels. I can look and estimate levels and square feet of houses pretty easy. Lots of REALLY BIG places. Start coming up on the old resorts on the outskirts of Montego Bay. Beautiful properties. .



Sound track can now start (have not actually secured rights, more a suggested listening)

Bob Marley: Smile Jamaica

Smile
Ur are in Jamaica now
Come on and smile
In Jamaica yall
Get it together
In Jamaica
Soulful town
Soulful people
In Jamaica yall
O island in the sun
Smile
Dancing to the reggae rhythm.
Come on and smile
Get it together right now
In Jamaica
Help our people
Help them right
O lord help us tonight
In Jamaica u gonna smile

Feeling better. Not dizzy. (No natural anti-nausea medicine yet)
In fact starting to feel good.
Feeling much better.
Not tired anymore.
Natural high.

And now

I get to

…MY ALL TIME FAVORITE VIEW OF MONTEGO BAY, JAMAICA …

Rolling green Hills to my left, ocean to my right and MoBay in the Rear View Mirror.

[justchuck]

Thanks for an entertaining story . . .keep it coming!