DAY 6

We wake up hungry, throw on some clothes, and head to Jakes restaurant for breakfast. Surely there will be something for us to eat. The menu was lots of eggs, meat, omelettes, etc. They did have porridge, fruit, and toast though so I thought we'd be fine. We ordered coffee (for me), some oat porridge, fruit, and toast with jam. Our server then explained that they do not carry soy milk for coffee and all of the porridge dishes are made with cow's milk instead of water. So much for eating vegan at Jakes being "no problem". So we were left with fruit and dry toast. Panic is now setting in as I'm realizing we are stuck here for an entire week with no food. We go out for a walk after "breakfast" to see what food carts, restaurants, etc we can find. We walk and walk. Nothing. We are literally trapped at Jakes with no food. We head back to our room and lay out on our patio reading and eating macro bars I had packed in our luggage for emergency backup. Good thing we brought a hearty stash of subs from Negril. I desperately needed something to calm me down.
After I started to feel a little more relaxed, we had some local fisherman go by while we were enjoying the ocean view.

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Later, I enjoy a nice outdoor bath and try to forget about the food issues.

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After a relaxing afternoon, we get dressed and make an attempt at supper again. I was excited to see curry veg and rice on the menu. Jason ordered the pasta and veg (again explaining no cheese/dairy). We decide to order the arugula salad which sounded good. Sadly, the curry veg tasted exactly like the bland Ital Stew we had the night before (I didn't taste any curry at all) and the salad came covered in cheese which was not indicated on the menu (after we just said no cheese on the pasta). The worst though was Jason's pasta and veg once again arriving swimming in a cream sauce. Yes they did hold the cheese. Jesus. At this point I'm about ready to snap so I go inside to ask if we can check out early and go back to Negril. They say yes, we could check out, no problem, but we would not be getting any refund on the remaining nights that they had already charged to my credit card (for a whopping total of $3400, not including the meals we couldn't eat). We sat and seriously discussed calling Chicken and having him come and rescue us the next morning, but we couldn't justify throwing away $3400 and letting Jakes just keep that cash and rent our room out to someone else, making a double profit. We tried to make the best of a really bad situation. We talked to the manager and discussed the food issues. They said they'd get some soy milk for us.... wait for it.... AND CHARGE IT TO OUR ROOM! I was floored. So they got us the milk, and we had to carry it around with us to and from the restaurant for the rest of our vacation. So not only were we paying outrageous prices for food we couldn't eat. We were also now paying for the individual ingredients for this food.
We went straight back to our room. Subs galore. This became the trend at Jakes. Self-medicating to disperse the anger. Not the birthday trip I had envisioned.