I guess what I call naïve and uniformed, others call stupid or perhaps view as a desperate cougar willing to pay for “it”. The latter definitely does/did not apply to me. I can’t speak for anyone else’s experience, expectation, or motivation, only my own. Just wanted to introduce my story and point of view as another scenario, it’s not always as others assume. Granted, my story is not that of a “romance tourist”, but that of a vacationer who may have unwittingly been affected by that “industry”. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Sharing my experience and views does open me up for judgment. So be it. I’m a strong woman. I chose to share regardless because I think it’s important to educate, both women travelers and those making judgments/assumptions of them.
One of my worst traits is being too trusting (yes, my first used car salesman experience did not go in my favor!). Combine that with being very empathetic and unaware of the “game”, equals the perfect MO/target for scammers.
Another issue I have as a single woman who is not in the dating world at home (focusing on mom and work stuff), is that I have always enjoyed male company/friendships. Again, that is perhaps naïve to want to have male friends. I’ve discovered that it often doesn’t work long-term because the male either wants more than that, or ends up in a relationship and therefore his female friendships understandably suffer. While not always working long-term, it does seem doable during the course of a vacation – granted not real friendships, but enjoyment of company. Am I willing to pay for that? Only to the extent of buying someone less fortunate than me a meal. Am I talking about sex? No. Do onlookers have a problem with that? It seems many do. I guess I could limit my vacation company options to tourists in my age group, but then I’m not really learning more about the country I’m in and the daily life/views of locals (except by hearsay) – which happens to be a big part of what I’m hoping to achieve while on vacation. I always knew to be cautious - experience, articles and threads like these have alerted me to be even moreso in certain areas.
There does, in general, appear to be a desire by society/onlookers to need to put a situation into a certain category that one has pre-determined….and ram that square peg into a round hole, no matter that it doesn’t always really fit. It’s not always as black and white as people would like it to be. As always, there are shades of grey (lol – not the book!)
Originally Posted by Bnewb
