Somehow you must have mis-read me because in no way was I saying it wasn't inappropriate to ask about or to be topless when laying out on a beach!

I think it is a great idea to ask - that helps you prepare. I was just stating that, no matter what, it is always good to plan on getting your cues once you get there. I am not a prude and have been in various states of undress for quite a looooong time -- I did live through the 60s! Your first paragraph shows that things do change and shift so that is why it is valid to see how it feels when you get there. My answer (probably not correctly put) was not directed at the poster...they were asking a fair and valid question. I was just remarking that it is a common concern people have and that, in my mind, it is not best to presume you understand the situation until you get there. I apologize if my tone seemed hectoring or lecturing, it was meant to be ironic.