The Incredible, Magical, Disappearing New Years Eve

[Guirigay]

As the midnight hour approached Nick and Bananny sat at the edge of the cliff, a bit dumbstruck in the cool evening breeze. Well, dumbstruck isn’t really an accurate adjective to use for the pair, ever, as they are naturally loquacious and rarely at a loss for words in any situation. They were, however, increasingly stricken by their current circumstances. The rest of the term we’ll leave to our gentle readers consideration but will argue it to be relatively accurate. And to be fair there were any number of moments of silent slack jawed disbelief as they stared out blankly into the darkness of the sea.

“So this is how it’s going to go down,” said Nick with a little chuckle and head shake.

“I know, I can’t believe it,” chimed in Bananny in her lilting, lyrical sing song patter. Her speaking voice was of such a melody that even disappointing words came out sounding chipper, “It sucks!!”

As Nick sat on the loveseat with Nattie’s lovely head resting in his lap, he looked past Bananny to the slumbering Carlton in his comfy hammock and wondered, “How did it come to this?” Thousands of miles had been travelled, countless sketchy financial schemes launched, any number of serious emotional blackmails forced, dodgy work arrangements dodged and family relationships leveraged to the hilt to bring this clan of congenital wanderers together.

And the evening had started so well…

[Guirigay]

The first of the Full High Holidays had been a rousing success by any standards. Sleep-ins had been ordered all around in preparation for the evening’s shenanigans. Fun had been slathered on a big old platter of Joy and Love and served up at every possible location that afternoon. It was a moveable feast of happiness and contentment.

Combustible elements orbited the cliff front, inevitably colliding in endless varieties of explosive enjoyment. The bonds of highly compatible chemistry were reinforced. Electrons racing across continents had held them together for eight months at great distances. They had helped bring them together again. Now in the full gravity of each other’s presence they were shared freely to create an incredible metaphysical covalent bond. Family.

A mesmerizing sunset was shared on the cliffs and the crew set off for the beach road. A roll through town gave a taste of what was to come as a number of Jamaican Sound Systems were being fine tuned, hoping to be honored as the loudest of the night. Jamaican Sound Systems are highly regarded amongst DJ’s and audio enthusiasts. They are defined by two contradictory ends – As Loud As Possible, and No Distortion. And they are usually rigged for outside play which is its own set of problems. There were a lot of good ones but it sounded like the bar on the corner near downtown had the edge.

At the beach they met up with a long list of extended family to send hundreds of Chinese lanterns into the twilight sky. Wonder Woman and Clark Kent were there, The Tobago Kid and OneBillionPeople, Turtle.Zero, PhotoBomber and the Dread Pirate Dread, Dr. Dru and the Tooth Fairy, and many, many more. The glow on the beach from the inflating lanterns in the receding twilight was glorious. Constantly rotating pairs of individuals coaxed their miniature hot air balloons skyward. Success brought oohs and ahhs and long moments of bliss. Failures brought the whoops, screams and laughter of excitement, brief terror and unbridled joy. A perfect start to New Years Eve.

The Fallen Stars rolled down the beach with the Rising Stars, PhotoBomber and the DPD. They had left the Fallens this morning to move down to the beach. A stop at their crib preceded a wild ride up to the near west end in an attempt to grab some dinner. It was not the first, and would not be anywhere near the last, of an incredible string of habitually overloaded Jamaican Cab Rides. Stories worthy of their own individual tales, each and every one. Tonight they judged the sound systems as they passed, and rewarded them by seeing how much they could bounce the suspension of their vehicle as passengers. A fair bit it turned out.

The crew rolled up the near west end to one of their favorite stomping grounds and this is where the evening started to fall apart, though this was only apparent in hindsight. The arrival was terrific. You know, who could really complain, for Chrissakes God was there. Not a bad guy, God, just probably a little more tested by the One Down Under than the good book let’s on. Vanna was there with Ms. DeVille, and Dr. Dru and the Tooth Fairy had wandered up from the beach.

Calypso wafted through the sea breeze as the party ensconced themselves at a long makeshift banquet table. Dinner orders were placed and rounds of drinks came and went. Rounds of dancing on the beach, running on the beach, falling on the beach and rolling on the beach came and went. More rounds of drinks came and went. It was awesome, except for one detail, very little food came and went. After a couple of hours this created a little tension for some in the party, for others a roiling gut, and for still others a bit of a slog.

Sketch was not running right and needed to pull in for some service. Sketch went out to the cliff road and took a little constitutional. He ran his diagnostics and figured a full rack and lube job would get the jalopy running right. He called in the wrecker and before the crew knew it he and Boom Boom were in tow back to the garage.

PhotoBomber and DPD wanted to get back to the beach side of town before it went crazy and their time was running out. Dr. Cousteau and Ariel were looking a little droopy and talking about needing to stop by their room. The current location was perfect for enjoying midnight, an easy walk to the craziness, a great view of the fireworks and an easy exit to the nest. The extended family made all these points clear and it would have been a blast. But… a brief conclave sent the gang on another interestingly full cab ride hurtling up the cliff road.

Back at the nest Cousteau and Ariel peeled off almost immediately. Nick and Nattie and Carlton and Bananny strolled through the grounds. They looked up at Sketch and Boom Boom’s barely lit room, shades drawn but not closed. A few jokes were proffered at Sketch’s expense. He has a huge account for such purposes. They wandered down to a small cottage perched on the edge of the cliff and sought refreshment…

[marley9808]

Words can't express your awesomeness.....well YOUR words probably could

I will just simply say
This "trip report" sure DOESN'T suck!! lol

Love love love

[beachgirl66]

<3

[Guirigay]

…And so here they were. The midnight hour was fast approaching. So much anticipation for this moment had been expended. So many plans had been prepared and now sat idle, ready to be discarded in the immanent implosion. But certainly not all was lost, they WERE sitting in what was arguably (and they did argue) the finest cottage on the finest property in the west end of Jamaica.

“Well, maybe it doesn’t EXACTLY suck,” said Nick with a glance around the patio before tossing a little smile at Bananny.

“Ha! No, No it doesn’t suck EXACTLY!” she laughed back.

“And you know, until just the last few minutes this day has been perfect,” continued Nick.

“I couldn’t imagine it being better,” added Bananny, “and everyone will still be here tomorrow.”

“Everyone and everything we came here for will be waiting for us when we open our eyes in the morning,” rejoined Nick.

Bananny smiled at this thought. “Everything I came for, for sure!”

They sat for a moment and pondered this strange situation. “You know it’s funny, but if I think of all the reasons we did all the things we had to do over the past six months to be here, actually ringing in the New Years in classic, crazy, wild Negril style is well down the list,” added Nick.

“I agree! You know, today WAS perfect!” replied Bananny, “ And tomorrow will be great, too.”

“I really don’t HAVE to have a wild New Years Eve,” Nick poormouthed.

“If it’s just us and all we do is raise our glasses to each other at midnight, I am perfectly happy,” finished Bananny and the two performed a test toast in resolution, “Happy New Year, my friend!”

The deep peace of acceptance washed over Nick and Bananny. All was good. No problem, mon.

[Guirigay]

“What is wrong with you two blabbermouths!” Piped up Carlton from his magic hammock, “I’m waiting, not sleeping!”

“Love, Love,” said Nattie as she slid her hand from Nicks knee and ran it up toward his cheek. She rolled her head up toward Nick and said, “I’m not done, aren’t we supposed to see the sunrise?”

This spark of life from the partners perked Nick and Bananny right up. “Well, let me go get the stuff,” Bananny said, “It’s almost midnight, we should head to the bar.”

Bananny popped into the cottage and returned with a shopping bag full of New Years Eve regalia. The crew was already outfitted with a variety of sparkling, flashing and glowing accoutrements gathered over the course of the evening. They paled in comparison to Bananny’s Bag. Crazy glasses, alien antennae, tiara’s, hats, headgear, whirlygigs and more spilled from the bag. As the two couples rummaged through the booty, they whooped and laughed. Nick ran across a glowing, flashing, pulsing red dread head. He immediately threw it on his head. Happiness had returned to Bummertown.

And then off in the distance they saw them. Cousteau and Ariel were walking toward them through the gardens. Cousteau appeared to be holding a very large golf tee. “I had to do some engineering,” proclaimed the Doctor as he approached, “It took me much longer than I anticipated!” With that they were on the verandah and quickly looking at their options in New Years Eve attire.

“Where are Sketch and Boom Boom?” asked Ariel, “We thought they’d be down here already.” Everyone knew WHERE Sketch and Boom Boom were, so the plethora of replies Ariel received had more to do with WHY Sketch and Boom Boom weren’t there. Sketch had made a few comments early in the evening about his preferred means of ringing in the New Year. He had also left dinner in a less than ideal state. He was also, and would always be, Sketch. This led to an incredible set of amusing guesses about why Sketch and Boom Boom weren’t there.

“Well I don’t think any of those are good enough reasons to not be right here, right now,” said Cousteau.

They all looked up to the verandah of Sketch and Boom Boom’s room. “Doesn’t it seem like there is more light coming from their room?” asked Nick.

“I think so!” said Carlton, “That’s it, we’re on a mission, time is critical!”

With that the group gathered their New Years paraphernalia and marched across the yard. Intentionally making as much racket as they could they passed under the Sketchington’s balcony. Up the stairs they marched, booming the couple’s names. On the entry balcony they bellowed and pounded.

Sketch heard the group coming, it wasn’t that he was caught unaware. He was just stuck in a precarious position. He may not have been able to greet the New Year in his self declared preferred fashion, but he nearly greeted the door.

“Boom Boom, shut the door!” He yelled.

“The door IS shut!” someone answered, “We’re opening it!” There was a commotion inside as nearly simultaneously the front door was opened and an inside door was slammed shut. It was uproarious in the room. Sketch rejoined the group momentarily looking a lot less down in the dumps.

“We’re here to roust you,” Sketch and Boom Boom were informed.

“Ain’t gotta roust me!” said Sketch, “I’m ready to go! Let’s hit it!” The group took a quick check of the time, it was minutes until midnight. Everyone looked at each other and smiled. There WAS enough time…

[Guirigay]

(... and the crickets chirped...)

With all the bling flashing they headed down to the bar. Bananny passed out the remaining trinkets to the bar and restaurant staff and K-Dog whipped up the fastest round ever. Even though the bar was busy, for some reason their traditional prime real estate was open and they moved right in. Somehow it had all Fallen together, they’d all been Caught in the right place with the right people at exactly the right time. All checked in at their little corner of the heavens. So they were all in place when the ball dropped. And, baby, they took that ball and crushed it…

In the midst of toasts and hugs and kisses they heard the Boom-Crackle of fireworks going off. The entire bar emptied out onto the dining patios to look off toward the lighthouse. A large contingent of Italians, probably 20-30, had enjoyed their New Years Eve dining on the patio and were now up and milling about. A few more small fireworks went up as the bar turned the music up. Easily audible out near the cliffs now the dining patio turned into an impromptu dancehall as any number of couples snuggled up in New Years tangos.

After a dance or two some of the Italians started to depart and the crew decided another New Years shot was on the docket, something of a higher order than quickly assembled mélange of beers and mixed drinks pulled together for the Auld Lange Syne – which was played, it was reported, at exactly zero locations on the west end that night. After much discussion and the acceptance that Sketch would not be indulging – “I’m good but I ain’t doing no shot!” it was decided that it was the perfect time for a Flaming Bob Marley!

“You won’t throw up in your mouth if we do one, will you Sketch?” asked Bananny.

“No, I’m good,” shot back Lazarus and the group was off, back to home base to mess with K-Dog. The line-up of 7 Flaming Bob Marleys was a bit of a production and it captured the attention of the bar. Well, that and the goofshow Dr. Cousteau and Nick were putting on. Cousteau had decided to document the making of the Flaming Bob Marleys. Rather quickly he made the brilliant decision to have his Flaming Bob Marley straw be the narrator of his documentary. At least Nick thought it was brilliant because he quickly decided to have his Flaming Bob Marley straw jump in as a color commentator. They were, of course, speaking in loud, strange, funny voices as they tapped their straws in front of the camera shooting the ongoing preparation of the FBM’s.

“And now he’s going to layer the next round of alcohol,” said Cousteau in a ridiculous voice.

What?!? What?!? What is he doing?” asked Nicks silly straw.

“He’s making Flaming Bob Marleys!”

“Flaming Bob Marleys?!? Ahhhhhhh!! That is very dangerous!”

“Yes, very dangerous indeed. And we are going to drink them!”

“We are going to drink them?”

“Yes!”

“But they have flames!”

“Yes, they have flames. They are Flaming Bob Marleys! What would a Flaming Bob Marley be without the flames?”

“Uh, Bob Marleys?”

“Well, yes, technically you are correct. But they wouldn’t be nearly as dangerous if they weren’t flaming.”

“Yes, flaming and dangerous, ha ha ha!”

“Yes, dangerous!”

“I am Plastic Straw! I fear no flame!”

“Wait… Plastic? Plastic? I’m Plastic Straw too… and Flames?”

Plastic Straw Narrator and Plastic Straw Color Guy stop and turn tip to tip…

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

“AAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

“AAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!”

This stupidity carried on to no short end. By the time the rasta colored shots were topped with overproof quite a large crowd had gathered to see if anyone would go up in smoke. The straws had made it pretty clear that someone would be destroyed in the inferno. The long line of shots were set ablaze and quickly consumed with great courage by the talking straws and the rest of the gang.

That is, all except for Boom Boom. As the Doctor and Nick slurped up the tiny bit of flame left in the bottom of their shot glasses they heard a danger squeal from directly next to them. As they sat up and looked to their left they had a front row seat for the rapidly spreading Flaming Bob Marley slick spreading out from Boom Boom’s shot glass. Fortunately, for the bar, K-Dog was well aware of the Sketchington's history. He knew that they were very territorial and had a long habit of trying to mark their turf. Just last year Sketch had left a permanent marking in his own Dadaist ritual just two seats away. K-Dog’s wet bar towel sat at the ready and quickly doused the wayward flames, but not before a slightly perceptible mark had been left. Sketch looked from his mark to Boom Boom’s and back again. He was already smiling outside but now he smiled a little more inside as he thought, “Yep, Sketchtown!”

[marley9808]

Would you like me to add some photos to go along with your story?

[treefrog]

How bout something to wake us up!

[Guirigay]

Would you like me to add some photos to go along with your story?

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis? When did you get a dream camera?

How bout something to wake us up!

When the crickets are chirping and the tree frogs croaking, you know it's time to say goodnight Gracie.

Goodnight Gracie.